Daddy's Briefs
- Dear Apple: Your failure to provide an option for me to disable the "Faces" feature in iPhoto makes me want to punch you in yours. about 16 hours ago from Twitter for Mac
- No, seriously: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $150 under current official price. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? about 1 day ago from web
- The hideout where you'll hold me for ransom should be someplace tropical. With an ocean view. And you have to split the ransom with me. about 1 day ago from web
- I will willingly cooperate with the first one of you who kidnaps me from this cubicle and holds me for ransom. about 1 day ago from web
- This hurts, but: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $205. Current full-price cost: $350. So, yeah: It's a good deal. For you, that is. about 2 days ago from web
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 6 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (34)
- Pam: You know — my kids are grown now, but I remember the medicine battles vividly. Can’t remember when...
- Amber: oh, and I also wanted to add, I told my husband to get it flavored. He said he asked the pharamacist, to which...
- Amber: UPDATE: mints no longer working…REPEAT: mints no longer working. Especially when the medicine is flying...
- Amber: oh wow! We just started our round yesteray, and I bought Ande’s mints for bribes today! I’d try...
- Kristy: As a long-time lurker but first-time commenter… that was beautiful *sniff, sniff*, heart-warming stuff....
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (34)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
More ways to love me
The Silly Mud Pig
A Story Written By [Zan's Preschool] Class
[Zan's sentence bolded below.]
Once upon a time, there was a pig named Muddy. He gets mud all over himself and every place he went, even his eyeball. He liked to dance in mud. He wore a Red Sox shirt, but he ate it. He missed his favorite subject, LUNCH! He ate spaghetti and meatballs. He had a little elf pet that ran away to get healthy food, but he came back and the pig took good care of him. Muddy went away and painted a rainbow. Muddy got paint all over himself and went to the stream and washed the paint and all the mud off himself. He rode his motorcycle to the aquarium. He ate a fish from the aquarium.
THE END