Subject: No cellphone

Saturday, July 12, 2008

To: [Lots of people]

Hi, this is Jon. I can’t get to the phone right now because it shattered into a million pieces on Interstate 95 early last evening. Its pieces are intermingled with those of the six-hour-old BlackBerry Curve that I received from my employer yesterday. I left both on the roof of my car while transporting my family from point A to point B. Total estimated retail value: $700.

If you need to reach me, please call me on my home phone … which I probably won’t answer, because I’m busy throwing up.

Thanks.

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