Daddy's Briefs
- You Know You're Old When: The shit you think is *so* 5 minutes ago is shit young people have never even heard of. about 2 days ago from web
- If I could have foreseen getting hit in the nuts as hard as I just did with a lacrosse ball, I wouldn't have bothered getting a vasectomy. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
- I love when the babysitter's car is nicer than mine. Doesn't at all make me question my life path. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time.
- I wish these kids would demonstrate a little self-confidence and individuality
- This photo makes me ache for another tropical vacation … but I’ll settle for a really stiff margarita.
- It will be best for my daughter’s future boyfriend if someone hides this picture from me, because if I should happen to see it on the night that he comes to fetch her for their first date, I will pummel his teenage ass to smithereens
- Mark Cuban is totally fucking wrong … unless he’s not, in which case: My bad.
Recent Comments
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time. (16)
- Smokeynall: Wow, if I had a dollar for every car dealership I went to and couldn’t get a used car financed...
- Jan: Oh lordy, I know the pain. A couple of years ago, my Mazda went belly-up about 80,000 miles short the 200,000...
- Jackie: I think the picture is really cool and am glad you showed it. Not sure what to tell ya on the van issue other...
- Susan Says...: I see that previous commenters have offered a variety of solutions. There are none other than writing...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (40)
- Carrie B.: Kinda late now, but the pharmacy at Target will flavor your kid’s medicine for free. Not just...
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time. (16)
Greatest Hits
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector
More ways to love me
A rose by any other name …
Scene: Zan and Daddy on the couch, watching the Red Sox play the Angels.
“Daddy, do you know any of the Angels players’ names?”
“Well, their newest guy is Mark Texaira … and they have a great hitter named Vladimir Guerrero …”
“V-lad-i-mir Gor-arrow?”
“Guerrero.”
“Gwa-arrow?”
“Almost. It’s Guerrero.”
[Pause]
“I wish they named him Bill.”