Beautiful Boy

Taken while I was giving Zan a bath in the kitchen sink at our old apartment. He’s looking at me. Like that. With those eyes. And that cute little smile. Pretty much guaranteed himself that I’d put up with whatever nonsense he could dish out from that moment on.

Right after Zan was born, I remembered hearing years earlier in a Richard Dreyfuss movie (“Mr. Holland’s Opus,” I believe it was) John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy),” and remembered being particularly moved by the father-and-son theme. It was one of the first songs I loaded onto my iPod after Zan arrived.

The combination of the new and overwhelming love I felt for my son, the sleep deprivation his arrival brought with it (an ongoing factor to this day, I might add) and the sorrow I felt as I, now a father, listened to Lennon sing so hopefully about watching his son grow up, not knowing he’d be robbed of that miracle, was more than enough to leave me with a gigantic lump in my throat and tears of both joy and heartache running down my cheeks. I still get completely choked up when I hear it.

Wonder Woman placed the above photo in a “Daddy”-themed frame and gave it to me as a gift. Five years later, it is still one of my most favorite pictures of my beautiful son—who is growing up way, way too fast. I’m glad I’m still here to experience it.