Daddy's Briefs
- Dear Apple: Your failure to provide an option for me to disable the "Faces" feature in iPhoto makes me want to punch you in yours. about 18 hours ago from Twitter for Mac
- No, seriously: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $150 under current official price. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? about 1 day ago from web
- The hideout where you'll hold me for ransom should be someplace tropical. With an ocean view. And you have to split the ransom with me. about 1 day ago from web
- I will willingly cooperate with the first one of you who kidnaps me from this cubicle and holds me for ransom. about 1 day ago from web
- This hurts, but: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $205. Current full-price cost: $350. So, yeah: It's a good deal. For you, that is. about 2 days ago from web
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 6 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (34)
- Pam: You know — my kids are grown now, but I remember the medicine battles vividly. Can’t remember when...
- Amber: oh, and I also wanted to add, I told my husband to get it flavored. He said he asked the pharamacist, to which...
- Amber: UPDATE: mints no longer working…REPEAT: mints no longer working. Especially when the medicine is flying...
- Amber: oh wow! We just started our round yesteray, and I bought Ande’s mints for bribes today! I’d try...
- Kristy: As a long-time lurker but first-time commenter… that was beautiful *sniff, sniff*, heart-warming stuff....
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (34)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
More ways to love me
“Teach … your children well …”
This is the mural above the food counter at a rather grubby, fairly rundown arcade/indoor amusement place to which Zan has been begging me to go with him since he learned how to speak. It rained nonstop all weekend, so we decided it was the perfect opportunity for a family adventure to the strip mall (seriously) where this mecca is located. (Wonder Women has taken the kids there a number of times, but this was my first visit—and I mention that because she deserves a great deal of credit for the things she endures.)
You know that we’ve pretty much given up on being a responsible society when children are beckoned to the dining area by a deformed, morbidly obese pig happily gorging himself on pizza, cookies and soda.
The only things missing are a couch, a remote control and an AK-47.