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Daddy's Briefs
- ... or 3.) The apparent lack of a "Log out" link anywhere on the @Flickr page in a desktop browser. Just me? about 4 days ago
- 2.) The fact that my @Flickr pro accounts are now wasted $$ ... about 4 days ago
- I don't know what I like more about the new @Flickr: 1.) The heinous layout/design ... about 4 days ago
- Your mother. about 1 week ago
- Fun science fact: It is physically impossible to NOT have a drink while listening to AC/DC's "Have a Drink On Me." about 2 weeks ago
- Q: What kind of a man pisses all over the toilet seat in a workplace bathroom and doesn't clean it up? A: The bad-aim, giant-asshole kind. about 2 weeks ago
- If #NRA CEO Wayne Lapierre was a bigger asshole, he would need a full-time colonoscopist. Linking Boston bombing to your cause? You douche. about 2 weeks ago
- #RedSox are the only team in MLB with 20 wins and single-digit loss record. Neener neener, everyone else's team. about 3 weeks ago
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- No, I don’t miss this view at all. Why do you ask? *weep*
- Believe it or not, Hallmark passed on this one
- Exciting news: I am now the millionaire owner of a Major League Baseball school whose employee roster includes Michael Cudlitz, star of the TNT cop-drama “SouthLAnd.”
- And then I got into a political argument with Boston Red Sox pitching legend Curt Schilling
- If you like this, you should probably put a ring on it … and then you should get your head checked by a mental-health professional.
- Burger King spiked my co-worker’s fries with a mind-altering substance
- The Scratches Take Manhattan, Part 3
- The Scratches Take Manhattan, Part 2
- The Scratches Take Manhattan, Part 1
Recent Comments
- Safety 1st my ass (15)
- mommyteya: I – a meer woman – have never had such a hard time getting my child out of the seat. I think...
- Believe it or not, Hallmark passed on this one (5)
- Jim Liston: Hallmark doesn’t have a sense of humor. I’ve been looking for a great card about the first...
- Jayna: 7 years (6)
- Ted Evans: Your daughter and my daughter is about the same age and I find it funny that we have the same issues (The...
- It will be best for my daughter’s future boyfriend if someone hides this picture from me, because if I should happen to see it on the night that he comes to fetch her for their first date, I will pummel his teenage ass to smithereens (39)
- Moiz Khan: Awwww….this is such a beautiful article. Im only 22 but I would just love to have a daughter. They...
- When you buy a $300,000 car, do you take out an auto loan … or a mortgage? (Actually, I’m guessing you pay for it with a bag of unmarked bills.) (14)
- Colt: I work at an insurance agency and we ran a quote the other day for a Ferrari. Surprisingly, it came back just...
- Safety 1st my ass (15)
Greatest Hits
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector
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More ways to love me
Exorcism
We here in the Scratches household are using these items to ward off the evil demons that have found refuge in our daughter’s little body, and to keep them from entering ours … for woe be unto the being who prevents Wonder Woman and I from going on, and remaining healthy during, our impending vacation.
Wheels up in T-minus 55 hours.
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