I considered titling this entry ‘You Light Up My Life,’ but that is just far, far too cheesy

So, as I mentioned, I spent some time stringing the house up with Christmas lights on Friday … and I think it turned out pretty well.

But that’s not what this is a picture of.

A while back, we made plans to go yesterday on a Christmas-light-viewing excursion with my family. The plan went like this:

• My brother would pick up from the car-rental place a 9-passenger van.
• He, his girlfriend, my sister, her husband and my mom would arrive at our house to pick us up at 3:15 p.m.
• We would all drive around together and make merry while gazing in wide wonder at the glorious displays of illuminated holiday cheer.

Now, in case you missed it, as I noted above, this was a plan that we made with my family … which is why that plan remains an idyllic but unfulfilled vision. Instead, we ended up having everyone unexpectedly gather at our house beforehand, at which time we learned that my brother had waited until 10 minutes before the rental office closed to pick up the van, and found upon his arrival that the rental-office personnel had apparently decided he was a no-show, so they locked up early and left. Boo hiss.

(And I’m guessing some of my family members might take some degree of offense to that previous paragraph, the writing of which made me think that perhaps I should have been more cautious about giving out the address to this website … but, as I have explained to my mother—a wonderful, loving, caring, kind-hearted woman who also, by the way, is kind-hearted, caring, loving and wonderful—I am trying to entertain the Internet here, where “entertain” means “talking smack” rather than “describing a scene worthy of a Norman Rockwell painting” … plus, I love you all, and no one reading this knows who you are, so please don’t take this shit too personally.)

Anyhoo … the group decided to implement a plan B, whereby we split into two cars: Wonder Woman, Jayna, my mother and I went in our car, and, upon his insistence, and despite our better judgement, Zan joined my sister, her husband, my brother and his girlfriend in my sister’s car—which we went along with mainly because Zan’s original reaction to the news that the van ride we had spent the weekend psyching the kids up for wasn’t happening was to say that he wasn’t leaving the house.

We departed and drove approximately .75 miles before Zan phoned us to say that he wanted to get in our car now.

So, once we had him strapped back into his seat, and my mother uncomfortably squished in between the kids, our two-car caravan set out on what ended up being a really nice drive, during which we saw lots and lots of beautiful light displays, listened to holiday tunes and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. (Incidentally, we also saw the big, comfy van we had reserved, sitting all by its lonesome in front of the rental office. Hi, van!)

When I was a child, my parents would take us to see Christmas lights in a semi-nearby town, where, as I recall, we would see some particularly impressive displays. I remembered this last year when WW and I took the kids out to find some lights, and, when it turned out we weren’t finding many close to home, I decided to venture back to that semi-nearby town in the hopes that the impressive displays I recalled from my childhood would still be the norm. It was on that drive that we discovered the Christmas-light display to end all Christmas-light displays.

These two houses are located along a major road, and the unbelievable display of lights that adorn them and their front lawns had caused quite a traffic jam by the time we happened upon them last year. With that in mind, we parked down the street this year and set out on foot.

After setting up the modest little display that now graces our house (and that poorly-placed-ladder story I hinted at last Friday is still forthcoming), I can’t imagine how long it must take for these folks to set this whole thing up … nor can I imagine paying their electrical bill.

While we were there, we came upon two guys still working on the display, and they showed us a path we could use to access the middle of the lawn, where we were able to stand and take in the view. It was a much more enjoyable way of experiencing it than rolling by in a traffic jam. In fact, the only downside was that, instead of enjoying the amazing display, Zan spent most of his time freaking out because he was embarrassed that his mother was wearing a Christmas-tree hat—which, in his defense, was about as big and as lit up as a bona fide Christmas tree.

After we had our fill of the light display, we saddled up and went to a nearby Italian restaurant for some tasty drinks and tasty pizza. And, if you ask me, I think we might just make this an annual family tradition—as long as someone promises to pick up the van in time next year.