Little Miss Thing here got annoyed with me for trying to take her picture this morning while she was sitting in front of the iMac in our playroom (a.k.a. the dumping station for every toy ever made) … and I’m glad, because this picture of her warding me off has a lot more character than this one.
- "This is the last pistachio I'm going to eat before I put them away." - Thing I told myself 50 pistachios ago about 1 week ago
- I am now fully prepared to celebrate America's birthday. Or anything else. Doesn't matter what, really. http://t.co/N9xvwzfktP about 2 weeks ago
- Managed son's tournament-team game tonight. See story in tomorrow's paper under the heading "Youth baseball team gets own ass handed to it." about 3 weeks ago
- Kickin' it at the Jersey Shore with some gorgeous chick (aka @mommyscratches). https://t.co/bFASq227xh about 1 month ago
More ways to love me
Letters to my kids
- The Cruel Shoes (52)
- Jeff: Agreed, Crocs are a scourge. I don’t have kids, but I do have Crocs. I am not going to replace them when...
- I’ve narrowly cheated death yet again (32)
- Jeff Wing: I was sleepily stumbling around the global chit-chat bazaar when my startled eyes scanned ‘red...
- Samantha: Totally just creeper status-ed you and added you on all the social media things. You’ve got some...
- Jawa: You have no idea how normal you sound to me right now. I’ve had fake cancer at least half a dozen times....
- Stan: I REALLY REALLY hate to not only top ALL OF YOU, however, try 6. Six. Yes, SIX. YEARS. OLD. I got shingles! So,...
- The Cruel Shoes (52)
- I’ve narrowly cheated death yet again
- And then I bought a spaceship!
- I traveled into the future and went snowboarding with my son … and I know it was the future because there’s no way I currently have a son who’s old enough to snowboard with me
- I’m basically replacing Howard Stern … except for the “replacing Howard Stern” part.
- It’s very important that one of you buy me a house on Florida’s Gulf Coast, because fuck this
- A fan’s-eye view of Howard Stern’s Birthday Bash
- If this shit keeps up, I’m pretty sure I’ll be sleeping at Howard Stern’s place this weekend
- The Week in Review: January 24, 2014 … a collection of bitching and moaning misleadingly presented as though it were part of an ongoing weekly feature that doesn’t really exist
- Fuck you, snow.