Daddy's Briefs
- This hurts, but: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $205. Current full-price cost: $350. So, yeah: It's a good deal. For you, that is. about 20 hours ago from web
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 4 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
- If the new #VanHalen album kicked any more ass, it'd be wanted for assault. Full-body goosebumps. Dear @EddieVanHalen: Sorry I doubted you. about 5 days ago from web
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme: http://t.co/mkoOo7Du about 1 week ago from web
- Someone just found my site by searching the Internet for "middle aged male." Thanks for the reminder, asshole. about 1 week ago from web
- I love people. Especially when they stay away from me. about 1 week ago from web
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (31)
- Amber: oh wow! We just started our round yesteray, and I bought Ande’s mints for bribes today! I’d try...
- Kristy: As a long-time lurker but first-time commenter… that was beautiful *sniff, sniff*, heart-warming stuff....
- Kristin: Been there. Paid extra for the flavoring, only to have children immediately throw up the expensive medicine...
- Nicole: Brilliant! No other words.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.” (40)
- Barbara: “having a dog is like having a baby … except the baby never advances beyond age two” Truer words...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (31)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.









Icy hot
This here’s the view out our back window. (And, yes, that kissing ball in the background is the same one that’s been hanging around since early December. I also still haven’t taken down the Christmas lights on the front of the house and in the front yard. You have a problem with that?)
We’ve lived here for four-and-a-half years now, and this is the first time we’ve ever had icicles this big. The only reason that I can come up with for why the snow on the roof is melting rapidly enough to cause this to happen is that my wife just keeps getting hotter. (That’s how you charm the ladies, gentlemen. Watch and learn.)