Daddy's Briefs
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 2 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
- If the new #VanHalen album kicked any more ass, it'd be wanted for assault. Full-body goosebumps. Dear @EddieVanHalen: Sorry I doubted you. about 3 days ago from web
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme: http://t.co/mkoOo7Du about 4 days ago from web
- Someone just found my site by searching the Internet for "middle aged male." Thanks for the reminder, asshole. about 5 days ago from web
- I love people. Especially when they stay away from me. about 6 days ago from web
- Hey, does anybody know if @Google is changing their privacy policy? about 6 days ago from Twitter for Mac
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (30)
- Kristy: As a long-time lurker but first-time commenter… that was beautiful *sniff, sniff*, heart-warming stuff....
- Kristin: Been there. Paid extra for the flavoring, only to have children immediately throw up the expensive medicine...
- Nicole: Brilliant! No other words.
- Wombat Central: After having spent roughly 2 hours to dispense 2 teaspoons of that shit to my son last year, I salute...
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.” (40)
- Barbara: “having a dog is like having a baby … except the baby never advances beyond age two” Truer words...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (30)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.









Please put your palms together …
Several months ago, the kids got a couple of little “plant your own palm tree” kits. They buried the seeds in the soil, and then placed the soil-filled, “Go, Diego, Go!”-themed cups in a brightly lit windowsill. At least two or three weeks went by with absolutely no sign of anything breaking through the soil, and I was pretty sure that the outcome of this little experiment was going to be two cups of dirt in the trash.
Well, wasn’t I surprised when, just as I had written them off for dead, the palm shoots began peeking out. I just took this shot yesterday, so as you can see, palm trees grow slowly … at least, they do when raised in a plastic cup in the sill of a window that looks out upon a snow-and-ice-encrusted back yard. The one on the right is looking a bit sketchy, owing to the time it got knocked out of the windowsill and onto the floor. I scooped its remains up and returned it to its rightful place next to its counterpart, but I don’t think it ever fully recovered from the shock of that catastrophe.
Of course, the long-term prospects for New England-based baby palm trees are not promising under even the most delicate of care … but, in the meantime, we might as well ride this out and see how far we can get.
Plus, also, they gave me something of visual interest to stick up here, which is helpful, because publishing five photos per week sometimes leaves me looking for whatever crap I can find laying around the house.