Daddy's Briefs
- At fucking last ... http://t.co/TWf9vNdD about 4 days ago from web
- Daddy Scratches Fragrance Tip™: If 10 secs after you walk into neighboring cubicle I'm overpowered by your perfume, you're wearing too much. about 4 days ago from web
- You Know You're Old When: The shit you think is *so* 5 minutes ago is shit young people have never even heard of. about 1 week ago from web
- If I could have foreseen getting hit in the nuts as hard as I just did with a lacrosse ball, I wouldn't have bothered getting a vasectomy. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
- I love when the babysitter's car is nicer than mine. Doesn't at all make me question my life path. about 2 weeks ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- This be my bad chariot
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time.
- I wish these kids would demonstrate a little self-confidence and individuality
- This photo makes me ache for another tropical vacation … but I’ll settle for a really stiff margarita.
- It will be best for my daughter’s future boyfriend if someone hides this picture from me, because if I should happen to see it on the night that he comes to fetch her for their first date, I will pummel his teenage ass to smithereens
Recent Comments
- This be my bad chariot (14)
- Carole: Here’s what my dad always says about the bells & whistles: “Just one more fucking thing to...
- Smokey: Kudos to Civic’s with over 200k on it. Been there done that.
- Sarah T: I have a 96 toyota camry with 170,000 or so miles. It runs great(fingers crossed), but looks like shit....
- heidi: Looks pretty cool to me. Maybe not as cool as a left-handed albino sasquatch riding a one-eyed unicorn, but,...
- Chris: I told my best friend to kill me if I ever bought a minivan, thankfully that hasn’t happened. Good luck...
- This be my bad chariot (14)
Greatest Hits
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector









Please put your palms together …
Several months ago, the kids got a couple of little “plant your own palm tree” kits. They buried the seeds in the soil, and then placed the soil-filled, “Go, Diego, Go!”-themed cups in a brightly lit windowsill. At least two or three weeks went by with absolutely no sign of anything breaking through the soil, and I was pretty sure that the outcome of this little experiment was going to be two cups of dirt in the trash.
Well, wasn’t I surprised when, just as I had written them off for dead, the palm shoots began peeking out. I just took this shot yesterday, so as you can see, palm trees grow slowly … at least, they do when raised in a plastic cup in the sill of a window that looks out upon a snow-and-ice-encrusted back yard. The one on the right is looking a bit sketchy, owing to the time it got knocked out of the windowsill and onto the floor. I scooped its remains up and returned it to its rightful place next to its counterpart, but I don’t think it ever fully recovered from the shock of that catastrophe.
Of course, the long-term prospects for New England-based baby palm trees are not promising under even the most delicate of care … but, in the meantime, we might as well ride this out and see how far we can get.
Plus, also, they gave me something of visual interest to stick up here, which is helpful, because publishing five photos per week sometimes leaves me looking for whatever crap I can find laying around the house.