We haven’t yet cleared Jayna for handling the toilet-paper part of bathroom use, so, when she finishes using the toilet, she hollers “DONE, DADDY!” or “DONE, MOMMY!”
Her most recent visit to the bathroom occurred just a few minutes ago, and I was the parent summoned. As I entered, I was regaled with the following report:
“I did tinks, Daddy. No poops … but I did a toot before I did tinks. It was a long tinks … and a long toot!”
Which is funny enough on paper, but even funnier when delivered by a cute little blonde-haired muppet with big blue eyes and a lisp.
Of course, today’s bathroom report pales in comparison to the following exchange, which happened about a year ago, when I was helping her in an empty restroom, and thank god it was empty, because how would you like to exit a bathroom stall and face a stranger after this one?
“Daddy, I have a ’gina and you have a penis, right?”
“That’s right, honey.”
“I love your penis, Daddy. Do you love my ’gina?”
Wow. Um, er, uh …
“Yes, honey, I love everything about you … but your vagina is private, and Daddy’s penis is private … so we don’t usually talk about them, OK?”
“OK, Daddy.”
Nothing can prepare you for parenthood. Nothing.
23 Comments
Heh!
(That was too short….)
(The comment I mean…) Dur.
LOL!!! The joys of parenthood! That is one thing I miss about having little ones, the things that miraculously come out of their mouths, not the bathroom business!!!
Oh thank you so much for that much needed laugh. You turned a bad day into a good one!!!
I have a little neice that always comes up with the strangest and funnest things to say. She is walking entertainment with a big attitude and a big mouth. I love it. Check out some of her more famous quotes here: http://2ducatilovers.blogspot.com/2009/02/im-husband.html as a daddy, I think you would find them entertaining.
a certain child (i don’t remember the name) said Mommy you have a big hair-e gina, her mom just about died….it wasn’t me cause I do not have a daughter…
Oh parenthood is so sweet—just keep track of all these sweet memories! When they grow up it will be their turn.Or you can payback when they are teenagers in front of the new girlfriend or boyfriend…..oh so sweet…:)
Concerts: U2 you lucky dog!
We have some decent concerts here: check out http://www.cainsballroom.com or our fabulous overpriced BOK center!
The things I’ll have to look forward to with Babycakes! I taught preschool — kids are obsessed with the bathroom. I once had a little guy question me about why he should wash his hands after going potty. I explained that it’s important to wash away the potty germs from our hands. He replied, “I didn’t get any on my hands, but it did splash a little on my feet.”
By the way, you’re the man for being a hands-on Daddy!
HAHA! When we were potty training my son last year my husband had to take him into a public restroom. My husband had to do the doo and my son gave the play by play to everyone in the restroom. Kids are awesome.
Why do kids always pick up on the things that we don’t want them vocalizing in public? My older son (2.5) keeps saying “My penis his big mom!” Which is especially funny because he’s dancing around naked when saying it
I have no idea why he picked up on saying it though … At least that’s at home and not out in public!
Oh man, I have been put into one too many uncomfortable situations with my kiddos. Seeing as I am the only female in the house, I’m usually the brunt of their jokes. That is all I’m sayin’.
LOL – that is funny!
How funny! I think you handled it appropriately.
This falls under the category of “Things I was not told BEFORE pregnancy”. Then again, had I known, I would have run screaming in the opposite direction!
Remind me why I have to fight the potty training battle if I STILL have to wipe up afterward for a few years … that just seems like a lateral move to me.
LOL! love it. reminds me of an episode of some friends of mine. they live next to the ocean. on a chilly summer morning the whole family (mom, dad and 4yo daughter) went swimming, all naked (yes, scandinavian, that’s what we do). anyway, coming out of the water the girl looks at her dad’s penis and asks him why it’s so small. he answers that it’s because the water was cold and then it gets smaller. she asks if it will get big again, and he says yes. end of conversation. one day later, all forgotten, father and daugther stand in line in supermarket. an older couple starts talking about the cute girl, how they have a granddaugther bla bla. the girl pulls her dad in the arm and he stops in the middle of the conversation and asks her what’s up. she then asks – loud and clear: “dad, can we go home and see if your penis is big again?” needless to say, my friend didn’t even try to explain.
Too funny! You know, I came across an item in Entertainment Weekly that the new TV show “In the Motherhood” is looking for viewers to submit “embarrassing tales of parenting woe to help fill the episodes.” I think you could submit your whole blog, but your story about the bath seat is classic. Viewers whose stories are used will get a screen credit. Here’s the link to the EW item: http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2009/03/in-the-motherho.html. I really think you should look into it! ;o)
My daughter had a fancy. Don’t ask!
OMG! That one from Daddy was hilarious, but trinsch’s friend? The poor guy. I bet he got out of that supermarket as fast as he could. LOL.
OMG that is awesome! Definitely one for your memory books! I’m still laughing…my husband will never take our daughter to the restroom ever again!
Ha! I just spit wine out of my nose!!!!!! Thanks for making my night!!!
Um, yeah. Let’s hope this prepares me a little itty bitty bit for the day something like this happens to me…
Okay, stop laughing. This could prepare me. A little. Right?
Man, that is hilarious! I suppose it’s universal what us dads with daughters go through. So cool that you shared/documented this.
.-= Joe´s last blog ..Daddy, where’s your vagina? =-.
oy! hahahaha too funny! wonder why moms never get these questions…least i never did. lol
.-= ciara´s last blog ..What I’ve Been UpTo and Birthday Post =-.