Daddy's Briefs
- This hurts, but: I'm selling my #Dad2Summit ticket for $205. Current full-price cost: $350. So, yeah: It's a good deal. For you, that is. about 20 hours ago from web
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 5 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
- If the new #VanHalen album kicked any more ass, it'd be wanted for assault. Full-body goosebumps. Dear @EddieVanHalen: Sorry I doubted you. about 5 days ago from web
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme: http://t.co/mkoOo7Du about 1 week ago from web
- Someone just found my site by searching the Internet for "middle aged male." Thanks for the reminder, asshole. about 1 week ago from web
- I love people. Especially when they stay away from me. about 1 week ago from web
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (31)
- Amber: oh wow! We just started our round yesteray, and I bought Ande’s mints for bribes today! I’d try...
- Kristy: As a long-time lurker but first-time commenter… that was beautiful *sniff, sniff*, heart-warming stuff....
- Kristin: Been there. Paid extra for the flavoring, only to have children immediately throw up the expensive medicine...
- Nicole: Brilliant! No other words.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.” (40)
- Barbara: “having a dog is like having a baby … except the baby never advances beyond age two” Truer words...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (31)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.









Have a ball
For the second year running, my employer (the corporate parent-company thereof, rather) rented a party house in the midst of the action during the SXSW Music Festival in Austin, so my fellow nerds and I were granted VIP wristbands that allowed us entry for the four days we were in town.
Being at the house made for an interesting anthropological study. For example, I could tell just by looking around that most of the people there didn’t have kids … because it quite clearly was extremely important to some of these individuals to have gotten on the guest list, and to be seen there, and to schmooze with the other cool kids … whereas it was very important to my cohorts and I to get free alcohol.
The open bar was actually the second item on my two-item list of reasons why I was looking forward to getting back to the house this year. The first was the prospect of jamming out on “Guitar Hero,” which I played for the first time while at the party house during last year’s festival. At that time, the Wii was connected to an enormous flatscreen television that hung over a fireplace, and we played along to tunes that were cranked out of a sweet-sounding stereo system.
This year, the good folks at Nintendo apparently were invited to bitch the whole thing up by placing three tiny Wii kiosks in a little room at the back of the house, and the one time I tried to come to terms with the comparative lameness of the whole situation, the two used-car-salesman-like Nintendo promotions folks didn’t feel like switching one of the kiosks into “Guitar Hero” mode. I assume this was because it ensured that less people would be interested in playing at the kiosks, which made it easier for the Nintendo schlubs to pull the plugs before the clock had even struck 8 p.m. and spend the rest of the night helping themselves to some free booze while they tried to network their way out of the Nintendo promotions department.
Oh, but, yeah: the picture. These balls were hanging from the ceiling in the room where last year the “Guitar Hero” fun and good times reigned supreme. Balls indeed.
(Taken with my super-lame point-and-shoot camera, because getting a full-on SLR into some of the music showcases is a hassle, so I left it home.)