Oh, Jayna.

Jayna, Jayna, Jayna.

What with all the coughing and screaming and crying and whining and sneezing and medicine-taking and waking-up-before-6 a.m.-ing, surely you need a nap. I mean, sweet mother of Christ, you are so overtired and congested and miserable that you have been splitting my fucking eardrums with your banshee howl ALL. DAY. LONG.

Naps have been hit-or-miss (mostly miss) with Jayna for the past several months now, and woe be unto us, for both children now run us ragged for 14 non-stop hours per day. But today … today it was painfully obvious that she needed a nap … and we needed her to take one.

Mounted over the beds in each of the children’s rooms are night-vision-equipped cameras that allow us to spy on them make sure they’re OK during nap time and/or at night.

Time for a pop quiz, class!

True or False: The child shown on the monitor in the picture above can be seen here sleeping peacefully after agreeing without quarrel to climb into bed and take her much-needed nap.

Wow! Looks like you all came up with the correct answer! Nicely done!

After screaming and crying and wailing and protesting vigorously, and after both her mother and I had each tried to convince her that sleep was required, the child actually stood on her bed, grabbed the camera and aimed it at her face, and I’ll be damned if she didn’t know exactly what she was doing when she stared straight into the lens and gave us a look that quite clearly said, “I am not done fucking with you two jokers. Not by a long shot.”

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  1. Nique
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 3:34 pm | Permalink

    That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! And I thought my girls were a hand-full….

  2. TheOtherJennifer
    Posted April 2, 2009 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

    I’m surprised she didn’t flip you the bird as well. Parents need naps more than kids do, mine won’t ever take one, even if her head is going to pop off from mucus overload.

  3. Posted April 2, 2009 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    I mentioned something to my 4 yr old about taking a nap the other day, ’cause I was so exhausted and she said, “Mom! Don’t you remember we don’t take naps anymore.” Last week when she really needed one I laid down with her and of course fell asleep first. When she asked if it was over I said – 5 more minutes. Then she fell asleep! Patted myself on the back for that reverse psychology. Here’s to early bed times!!

  4. Posted April 2, 2009 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    Oh dude, your screwed.

    And, I’ll quote a gal pal of mine by saying: “Duct tape!”

    LOL ;)

    Hope you and the wife…and both the kids get a long, refreshing nap soon =)

  5. Posted April 3, 2009 at 1:56 am | Permalink

    Eye plugs and alcohol !

  6. Posted April 3, 2009 at 6:53 am | Permalink

    OMG those long days kill me, when you know they need it so bad & they refuse WTF is that about!!!

  7. Posted April 3, 2009 at 7:45 am | Permalink

    I totally want to do NANNY CAM my dogs. I think they are effing with all my stuff when I’m not home. I know that has really nothing to do with the fact that your kiddo is obviosuly brilliant and will soon have no need for her mere mortal parents, but thought you needed to know anyway!


  8. Posted April 3, 2009 at 9:03 am | Permalink

    LOL!! I needed the laugh this morning, sorry it was at the expense of your wretched suffering!

  9. Posted April 3, 2009 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! What a gal!

  10. Posted April 3, 2009 at 12:26 pm | Permalink

    haha! Oh you’re both done for! That one was good enough that I had to de-lurk so I could comment on it.

    Love your blog…thanks for letting me lurk up until now!

    Lins @

  11. reen
    Posted April 3, 2009 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    Priceless. Sorry about saying farewell to the naps. I feel for you!

  12. Posted April 5, 2009 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    Looks like she’s winning the never ending quest to wrap you both right around her finger. Girls are fun!

  13. Posted April 5, 2009 at 9:51 pm | Permalink

    You will look back on this time soooo fondly…but not until the little buggers are teenagers. Then you will sell your soul for the chance to go back to when they were this age. Talk about not sleeping.
    Enjoyed a quick look around.
    Let me know when Eddie Van Halen and the gang can set up some hang time with Eric Burdon and I’m in.

  14. JZB
    Posted April 6, 2009 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    Funniest sh*t ever! Look at that face of determination…ha ha ha

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