Boy, that Life, I tell ya. Such a kidder. Always with the jokes, that one. A real cut-up. Ha-ha. Good one, Life.
That whole “Jayna’s sick and won’t take a nap” thing? That was cute, wasn’t it? Seemed at the time like our nerves were stretched pretty thin. Yeah, that was yesterday … before The Coughing.
Just imagine *cough* if *coughCOUGH* every *cough-GAG* three seconds *COUGH-GAG-BLARGH* you were violently coughing *COUGH-COUGH-whimper* to the point of gagging, *HACK-HACK-COUGH* and gagging *sniffle-snort-COUGH-COUGH-GAG* sometimes to the point of vomiting.
That is what Jayna has been doing, almost literally nonstop since late yesterday afternoon.
And to make it more interesting, that silly ol’ Life threw in a bout of antibiotic-induced diarrhea, so each time the gagging cough caused her entire little body to tense up, a smidgen of that diarrhea would sneak into her underwear. Of course, that was unbeknownst to us until I noticed a hint of color that didn’t quite match the pattern of her otherwise pink and white and black pants. And because the discovery was delayed, she developed a small but extremely painful rash.
She is exhausted. She is miserable. She is pitiful.
The Coughing kept her up all night. Which means The Coughing kept us up all night. I have never seen anything like it in my life. She just COULDN’T. STOP. COUGHING.
When I put her down at bedtime last night, she was so exhausted that she finally passed out for about 45 hope-filled minutes, during which I wished and hoped and prayed that she would continue to slumber peacefully through the night. And then that sound, that cursed sound sprang forth from the baby monitor: The Coughing … each cough waking her a little more, and upsetting her a little more, until she became this pathetic, wretched, miserable little bundle of coughing and gagging and crying and whimpering, and what do you do when the monster torturing your daughter is one that you can’t grab by the fucking throat and beat the bejeezus out of?
First, I sat holding her in the rocking chair for about a half hour, her head on my shoulder, arms around my neck, legs around my waist. When she remained asleep for a while, I laid her back down in bed. That worked perfectly … for a few minutes. Then I did the “up-the-stairs, settle-her-down, down-the-stairs, get-back-in-bed” thing a few times over the course of the next couple of hours. Then Wonder Woman took over that drill for a bit.
Totally futile. She coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed and coughed. And then she coughed. And after that, she coughed—oh, and did I mention The Coughing?
I’m serious. I’ve never seen such a prolonged coughing episode.
Shortly before 4 a.m., I couldn’t take it anymore, so I grabbed my pillows, climbed into her bed, propped myself up in a semi-seated position and tried to roughly simulate the rocking-chair hold that had seemed somewhat successful several hours prior. Between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m., she maybe got a total of 15 minutes of twitchy, light sleep—which is approximately 15 minutes more than I got.
By late this afternoon—you know, roughly around the time I was in danger of smashing face first into my desk (which I wouldn’t have even noticed, so happy would I have been to finally have something on which to rest my head and go to sleep)—she had been reduced to a limp, inconsolable mass of sustained coughing, crying and whimpering. And finally, she passed out in Wonder Woman’s arms for a while.
When she awoke, the coughing resumed, but there were slightly longer periods of not-coughing interspersed among the coughing/gagging, and she even managed to get down a few bites of pizza.
Earlier today, Wonder Woman took her to the doctor, who upped her antibiotic prescription from Augmentin to Zithromax, the nuclear bomb of antibiotics. He told WW at that time that we shouldn’t give Jayna any over-the-counter medication to relieve her symptoms. Apparently, the medical world has decided that O.T.C. cough and/or cold medications are ineffective for treating children under six and, moreover, are dangerous.
Well, begging your pardon, Mr. Scratches Family Pediatrician, but fuck you.
I guarantee you that the half-a-teaspoonful of children’s cough-suppressant/expectorant that we gave Jayna shortly before bedtime presents a far smaller danger than that posed by the prospect of everyone in this house not getting a few hours of sleep tonight.
She’s been sleeping peacefully for about an hour … which means I could have already gotten an hour’s-worth of much-needed sleep myself. So what the hell am I doing here talking to you people?
Good night.
22 Comments
Poor thing! All of you! I hope that the new antibiotics work wonders and that Jayna feels better very soon.
But, thanks for letting us know, anyway. Now, “lullabye and goodnight…”
omigosh—you brought it all back.. every bit of it! All the helplessness and fatique. The KNOWING that even if you do both manage to fall asleep for a few in the rocking chair–THERE IS STILL TOMORROW TO BE DEALT WITH! and lets pray that an ear infection isnt cooking silently as we speak
cheerful, aint I? lol
OMG poor baby….Jayna that is not you! Just kidding I feel your pain this is the part of parenting no one tells you about until its too late. My daughter was always sick at that age I use to call her our Lemon baby, she was a wreck! She is also an only child go figure.
I actually did some research on that whole cough medicine thing. I am not a doctor, nor did I read every available published article all the way through. But what I took away from it was this.
It’s not so much that they don’t work on kids. It’s that no one has ever proven, through a rigorous scientific study, that they DO work on kids. Also, the recommended dosages for kids are completely made up. No one knows what an effective and safe dosage should be.
I feel for you, dude. I hope everyone is healthy and happy again soonest.
Poor baby & poor all of you – I hope you get some rest and that she is feeling better right now.
Guilt not, my friend. I too have listened to our little guy coughing his head off all night to finally say “screw it” and give that poor suffering child a (recommended) dose of Dimetapp. He slept, peacefully, for a few hours and (just as importantly) we did too. Besides, our pediatrician has since let us know that he really doesn’t completely agree with the AMA’s finding on the whole cough med/decongestant thing; he says some parents would simply not follow directions, thus overdosing, OR dose their kids up to keep them quiet (bastards).
I’m sorry, I know I’m not a dr. but, it seems that given the severity of her coughing he should have prescribed a safe medication to curtail her coughing bouts, (they do exist, yes, even for children) instead of just saying ‘oh well, nothing to do, and don’t use anything over the counter either’.
)
Dr.s, they’re just so damn helpful sometimes!
I’m sure you can see why they used to give kids shots of whiskey and honey in the old days lol!
I feel for you and your family dude, no fun for sure.
My wife and I have an 17 month old son. I feel your pain. The bugs that are going around this year seem like they have left the garden-variety domain and moved straight into the I’m going to make your life as miserable as possible as long as I feel like it and there’s nothing you can do about it domain. My wife and I are also believers in the fact that the reason we can’t give a small human medicine is directly tied into the fact that some small-brained parents don’t know that giving a kid an entire bottle of Nyquil is not in the best interest of a small human. Good luck and hope Jayna is feeling better. P.S. Your blog has provided so much laughter to me at a time where I haven’t been laughing too much. Thanks.
Oh I have soo been in your shoes mister…I feel for ya!
ALso – You MUST try the Vicks Vaporub Patches! You stick a patch on their chest and they breathe the Vicks fumes all night and they SLEEP!!!
Sorry to tell you, cough suppressants are no good for young kids because they need to cough up the gunk in their chests. By suppressing it you could be setting up the perfect environment for pneumonia.
Tough to go through, sleep deprivation has been a torture device for centuries!
We actually have used codeine (prescribed in a dose for a child) for such a problem. Well, the coughing that is. Codeine is actually a cough suppressant in itself. We rarely use it, but our daughter (4.5) sometimes gets this weird sniff-cough that sounds like a bark and can keep her up the whole night. And us. We only give it to her when it’s *really* bad, so she’s only had it maybe three times her whole life, and only one or two doses each of those times. It certainly seems like your antibiotics aren’t working, so it may be worth asking your (or another) doctor about.
I’m just surfing over from PW’s house. Love your blog!! Will definitely be back – if you’ll have me? I can sometimes be a little accident prone.
You think childcare is a handful, wait until you have grown kids (my daughter is an aerobatic pilot) and elder care! It’s a hoot. Butterfly (age 83) lives with me and it’s all I can do to keep the woman out of mischief … but she’s healthier than all the rest of us put together, more fun than a barrel of monkeys and everyone wants to steal her to be their very own mother. Ain’t happenin’!
Have insomnia? Check out the drop-dead gorgeous wildflowers that Butterfly and I found on our latest adventure:
http://thebutterflymind.com/ramblings_0082_wildflowers.htm
http://www.thebutterflymind.com
just keep seeing you on PW’s blog comments and thought I’d pop in. Nice blog! Though with three girls under three, I totally feel your pain. And thought I’d share this… http://www.vitacost.com/Boericke-Tafel-Childrens-Cough-Bronchial-Syrup My friend shared it with me after a few cough-filled all nighter’s at our house. She said it was the ONLY thing that ever worked for her 5 kids. And if you read the reviews, it seems to be a winner (we haven’t tried it yet as the medicine showed up after the cough stopped). Plus, being homeopathic, it REALLY is safe, unlike those nasty antibiotics ol’ Mr. Scratches Pediatrician is pumping your babe with (sorry, just my humble opinion). I wish you rest…
I’ve been there my friend….my oldest has had pneumonia 5 times in the last 8 years. The best thing I ever used were the cough patches. Vicks makes one, just cut it in half and stick to the outside of her pj’s. If she won’t leave it alone (or in my kids case it was to much for her) just stick it to a surface right by her!
Best of luck, I hope it’s a short run!
Tracey
PS….saw you on PW’s site and just wanted to stop by. Will be back often..you crack me up!
Love your site! You have a true gift for writing and telling stories. And for making me LAUGH.
I hope you are all feeling better by now…..ugh…..I feel for you!
Oh, how you make me laugh! But, OH, I feel for you. My son is 6 and has had this nasty cough before. He takes a truck load of vitamins that I picked up at the health food store. Very knowledgeable people. Asthma, bad allergies – I feel your pain. It sucks when your kid is sick and you cannot do a *&$% thing about it! Except lose your mind…
Don’t you hate that helpless feeling when you can’t heal your own child?
Hope the Zithromax kicks some cough & sweet Jayna (and family) can get some rest!
Oh I feel for you guys! I remember how it sucked when my kids were sick as little ones. So much better now that they are teens. As for the soreness, I always cleaned them in a warm tub with some drops of dish detergent (I put a few drops in the tub as it filled), toweled them dry, and covered it up with A & D, the magic potion of early motherhood! But the skin has to be absolutely clean and dry first. Made them feel so much better…
Yeah. We both are on the backside of that cough. Sucky suckage.
We’ve had that cough & had to use breathing treatments to get 30 minutes of SweetBabyHeaven silence & sleep ~ those nights are enough to make you want to stab a wall if it will just help the poor child sleep.
And the OTCdrugsdontwork speech? Spare me. Those things work in my house & yes the Ped has quietly told us what dose to use to stop the toddler’s cough … then again maybe my crazy eyes are a little scarier than WW’s! LOL We only use them in dire circumstances, not as sleeping aids so as not to have DCS call me!!
Saying a prayer to the Gods that she kicks this soon!