The weather was unseasonably warm this weekend—like, high 80s—so Wonder Woman and my mom took the kids to the beach while I stayed home and worked on a side project, and are we noticing a pattern here yet? A pattern that involves, you know, everyone else having fun while I work? Yeah, me too.
Actually, I didn’t just work on a side project; I also went into the basement and dug out the two window-AC units for the kids’ rooms, which I wasn’t planning on doing till, like, June. And then I installed the window-AC units in the kids’ rooms, which surely is one of life’s special delights. First, I had to place in the windowsill the little pieces of wood I so masterfully cut and taped together with packing tape (because, as any real handyman knows, nothing works quite like packing tape for securing together two pieces of wood, am I right?), then I had to balance atop those little pieces of wood the air conditioner, and if there exists a more unwieldy and awkward-to-handle inanimate object than an air conditioner, do tell.
Amazingly, this will be our fifth summer in this house, and I’ve now gone five years in a row without accidently dropping one of the ACs out the window during installation. I am still half-waiting for the entire
windowsill window frame to fall out with the AC in it, however. So far, though, so good.
I really didn’t want to deal with the AC units just yet. I mean, it’s freakin’ April … but the kids’ bedrooms comprise the second floor of our pocket-sized house, and the roof isn’t dormered, nosiree, so the upstairs is basically a tiny attic with two finished bedrooms in it, and boy howdy, do it get warm all up in there.
And as if dealing with the AC installation instead of getting my side project done wasn’t enough fun, I discovered upon pulling back the curtains in Jayna’s room a minor infestation of flying carpenter ants scurrying to and fro on the glass. Seems the 90-ish-degree temperatures caused them to go all guerilla-warfare on the house, and now I’m panicking that they’re devouring my home, and I’m just kinda hoping we can eventually be in a position to upgrade to a new house and let someone else deal with all this shit.
Oh, but anyway: the picture.
So Wonder Woman and the kids return from the beach, and WW says, “Can you please go carry Jayna in from the car?”
Not, “Can you please go outside and laugh yourself silly at the sight of your daughter sleeping in the backseat with her legs cross and giant, Elton John-style dolphin sunglasses on her face?” Not, “Whatever you do, make sure you bring the camera out with you, because you’ll want a picture of this hilarity.”
I think she just wanted me to be surprised. I was. Pleasantly so.