Mi Familia

The important stuff

OK, I’ll admit it: I’m burnt out. Fried. Cooked. Put a fork in me; I’m done.

Jayna has been waking us up every handful of minutes for at least the past couple weeks, and she topped yesterday’s 4:37 a.m. wake-up call with today’s 4:22 a.m. wake-up call.

When she’s well rested and feeling 100%, she screams and cries frequently throughout the day. When she’s exhausted and feeling less than 100%, she SCREAMS AND CRIES FREQUENTLY THROUGHOUT THE DAY … and as my sleep deprivation increases, my ability to deal with her shenanigans exponentially decreases, to the umpteenth power. I am finding myself woefully incapable of handling the sonic axe that splits my skull in two every time she begins her banshee wail.

Meanwhile, Zan frequently is impersonating a rebellious 12-year-old … which sucks, because I was kinda hoping we could wait the full six-or-so years between now and his actual 12th birthday before we had to start dealing with that nonsense.

Look, clearly, writing a fantasy scenario in which I intimidate my children by way of surgically implanted, knife-like claws is probably a dead giveaway that I could use a little escape with my lovely bride … but a full-blown vacation sans kids is highly unlikely to occur again this decade.

Alcoholism is tempting, but I hear there are quite a few items in the “cons” column for that particular affliction, so I’ll pass.

Would it be wrong to put them in dog crates for 24 hours so that Wonder Woman and I can spend a night alone in Boston?

Oh, the photo? It’s to remind me of how lucky I am to have such a beautiful, healthy little family … you know, so that I don’t throw all my shit in a duffle bag and run from the house screaming.

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  1. Posted May 6, 2009 at 10:19 pm | Permalink

    A beautiful family indeed!

  2. Julie
    Posted May 6, 2009 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

    This too shall pass
    And, a Very Beautiful Family you have there, sir!

  3. Posted May 7, 2009 at 2:43 am | Permalink

    It is such a lovely little family… I have a mantra I use frequently when my 2-year-old is screaming from the top of her lungs for the 12th hour in a row… It goes like this:

    “It’s a phase, it’s a phase, it’s a phase, it’s a phase, it’s a phase, it’s a phase…” Now close your eyes and repeat after me: “it’s a phase, it’s a phase, it’s a phase…” – see you feel much more relaxed and calm 😉 … Or not…. 😉

  4. Milissa
    Posted May 7, 2009 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    The definition of a good parent is one who does not kill his/her offspring. Simple as that. As long as you haven’t ACTUALLY killed them, thinking about it is OK.

    This is what I tell myself on a daily basis, so please don’t say anything to me if I’m wrong.

  5. Posted May 7, 2009 at 11:15 am | Permalink

    Beautiful family and if it was easy nobody would do it. But on that note I only have one child and with good reason. She never slept! But she is 15 now and my pay back is already starting. I wake her ass up early every morning especially weekends! Pay back is worth it hang in there!!

  6. Posted May 7, 2009 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Very Beautiful family – and yes, you are lucky. And Yes, I’ve felt like that many a day. Will you go? No. But it’s comforting to know some days that is an option. Or is it? ;o)

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