Smooth Like Your Mother

That was the name of a band in which a college classmate of mine played … which has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with this post, except that it’s almost midnight and I’m falling asleep where I sit and I couldn’t think of a remotely witty title with the word “Mother” in it, so I went with what you see above.

Moving on …

In May of 2003, when Wonder Woman was out to HERE with our first child, and we were knee-deep in maniacally idyllic visions of a swaddled cherub nursing effortlessly and sleeping soundly for 12-to-14 hours-per-day, we began what has since become a Mother’s Day tradition.

One of our most favoritest places here in our lovely corner of the world is Bearskin Neck in Rockport, a tiny finger of land that juts out into Rockport Harbor, and is home to a number of quaint little shops, restaurants, ice-cream parlors and the like.

So on that Mother’s Day back in 2003, I took this picture of a very pregnant Wonder Woman (with Motif No. 1 in the background).

Fast-forward one year, and lo-and-behold, there’s Wonder Woman again, holding our bottle-fed moose of a son, who slept soundly for a combined total of 12-to-14 hours from the time of his birth in June 2003 until the time of this May 2004 Mother’s Day picture:

Run the clock ahead another year, and holy shnikes, the boy is getting big—and so is his Mommy, who again is out to HERE with yet another child who wouldn’t arrive until well past its due date:

And let us again jump through time so that we may take a glimpse at our growing brood circa Mother’s Day 2006:

One can only assume she’s smiling like that because both children are now outside of her body. (Did I mention that she pushed out our 9 lb. 2 oz. 6 oz. son without taking any drugs, and then, despite knowing full well what it would feel like, did so again with our daughter? I have never been more awestruck than I was by her strength in accomplishing that feat—twice—and, simultaneously, I have never been more appreciative than I was about not being the person in this marriage who is equipped with a uterus.)

Hark, is that Mother’s Day 2007 I see?

What you see above are two very, very tired parents. I can’t decide if we’re bright white because the picture is so overexposed, or because our chronic exhaustion caused us to become transparent to the point that the sun was shining right through us. (P.S.: Like my floods? I really should pay attention to things like pulling down my pant legs when I sit for a picture.)

Aaaaaaaaand cue 2008:

Still quite tired … so much so that Daddy set up this self-timered shot with the camera altogether too far away, sans fill-in flash. Forgive me for taking such a low-quality photo, but I was busy DISINTEGRATING FROM EXHAUSTION.

One last time warp brings us to yesterday:

Everybody’s looking pretty good, even despite the fact that our Mother’s Day excursion, which traditionally has taken place in the morning, couldn’t commence until after Jayna’s swimming lesson and Zan’s soccer game. The children are growing up … and, bittersweet though that may be, we are happy to now reap the benefits of no longer having babies and/or toddlers.

This was the first Mother’s Day visit to Rockport for which we didn’t feel the need to bring along with us our giant, double jogging stroller; the children are quite capable of walking.

Long gone is the discomfort and hormonal madness of pregnancy. So, too, is the necessity of diaper bags and bottles and wipes and special food stuffs brought from home.

Greatly diminished are sudden outbreaks of embarrassingly loud and sustained crying and screaming tantrums.

Shortly after this picture was taken, we headed over to Top Dog for lunch. (P.S.: Hot dogs, shmot dogs; despite its namesake food, this place has the most amazing lobster roll you’ll ever find, anywhere. HUGE chunks of lobster, which they probably just caught out back.) We grabbed four stools at a counter adjacent to the window and proceeded to have a perfectly delightful family meal.

“This is getting easier,” I said to Wonder Woman as we looked at each other and smiled. She agreed.

Happy Mother’s Day, baby. Thanks for bringing these kids into the world for us, and thanks even more for raising them with me.