How ’bout a little time-warp action?
Every now and again, I’ll scroll waaaaayyyyyy up in my iPhoto library, watching the months and years tick off in reverse order … and I am always amazed by what I see. I know the kids used to be small, but knowing that versus seeing that are two very different things.
This is Zan almost exactly four years ago, May of 2005. He was still eating in a highchair, and Jayna was still renting space in Wonder Woman’s womb.
I can’t help but get choked up when I see pictures of him as a little boy—more choked up, I’ve realized, than I get when I see pictures of Jayna as a younger girl. Maybe that’s because the contrast between him now and him at age two is a lot more stark than the contrast between her now compared to her at age two … but I also think it’s because, when I see him at such a young age, and remember how much we didn’t know about raising kids, and, even more importantly, how much we didn’t know about who he was and what he needed and how to give it to him, it makes me wish I could go back and do it over knowing what I know now.
Of course, the other reason I get choked up is because I’ll never have him like this again.
Now, if you’ll pardon me, I have to go get a Kleenex; I’m feeling rather verklempt.