If you follow my Twitter feed, you were treated earlier today to a hilarious, real-time account of my automobile inspection. God, was I witty. Here, let’s recap for those of you who may have missed it:

First, I started with: “I’ve been an outlaw long enough; time to get my expired vehicle-inspection sticker replaced. Twenty days of criminal activity is my limit.” (Yes, I always get 13 months out of my inspection stickers. Every now and then, procrastination has its benefits.)

Then I hit you crazy cats with some of this: “Never in the history of vehicle inspections has anyone inspected a vehicle more thoroughly than this gentlemen right here.” (Seriously: dude was doing everything short of disassembling the entire automobile.)

And, finally, I capped my little comedy hat trick with this gem: “Dude, it’s a 2-door Ford, not an F-16.”

Jesus, I’m funny.

Except the joke was on me, because Mr. Super-Thorough-Auto-Inspection Guy? He finished things up and slapped the above shown bright-red “Rejection” sticker on my windshield.

The computer-generated Vehicle Inspection Report was glowing … “Pass” after “Pass” after “Pass … except for the “Exhaust Check,” next to which appeared the word “Fail” … and, hey, speaking of four-letter words that begin with “F” …

He said it probably was just a matter of getting the muffler replaced, as it apparently has rusted through—which, actually, is rather convenient, because what I was really hoping to do less than two months after dropping $1,250 on Wonder Woman’s car was shell out some more cake for an exhaust upgrade on my own ride.

What’s the average annual price tag for owning a horse? I’m thinking about switching up.

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  1. Posted May 20, 2009 at 10:57 pm | Permalink

    Well, the important question is whether or not you become emotionally attached to your vehicle. If you don’t, a horse may be a good alternative. Horsies are expensive but at least you can get an emotional investment outta them. ;)

  2. Posted May 20, 2009 at 11:08 pm | Permalink

    Well, according to my local expert, keeping one costs about $1500 to $2000 a year, but that’s not counting the purchase price and any equipment you buy to ride the damn thing.

  3. ashley
    Posted May 21, 2009 at 2:16 am | Permalink

    May I recommend down sizing to 1 car, I mean you work from home, It wouldn’t be that much of a hassle. And at least you wouldn’t be the crazy guy with the horse living in his backyard.

  4. Momcat
    Posted May 21, 2009 at 3:18 am | Permalink

    In SA we are not required to have a vehicle inspection every year unless vehicle is used for transporting public. If that were so, given the ancient vehicles I drive, I would probably have been walking or riding a bicycle for the past 10 years!

  5. Posted May 21, 2009 at 3:32 am | Permalink

    I’d say get a bike. but where are you going to put all your tee ball equipment , tail gate for the sox games and then there is those damn Boston winters….man you are screwed!

  6. Posted May 21, 2009 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    Ahhh.. you must come to BC, Canada and suffer through air care. If your car is so old you must wait for 2 hours in a line and pay 24$ each year when you renew your insurance. If your car is somewhat newer, you wait in line for 2 hours and then pay 48$ every two years. You don’t have to suffer through this with a new car.

    Then you have so many days to fix whatever is wrong when it fails or else you can’t renew your insurance or if you pay over 800$ and the car still fails you can renew it but it still must be fixed. Sigh.. I went through that for 4 years with my 91 Jetta.. It definitely sounds like a horse is worth it!

  7. Posted May 21, 2009 at 1:07 pm | Permalink

    Umm, are our planets in the same orbit this week?? I too, could post my rejected sticker photo from dickhead Gulf on Main St as of 10am this morning for same exhaust problem.

    Except I stupidly did this before heading to the Cape this weekend, in the guise of being efficient, and not leaving this to the last minute.

    Not feeling efficient, smart or wealthy right now.

    My deepest sympathies, I hate Mass State inspection with a passion. But I’m still going to the Cape no matter what!

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