If you follow my Twitter feed, you were treated earlier today to a hilarious, real-time account of my automobile inspection. God, was I witty. Here, let’s recap for those of you who may have missed it:
First, I started with: “I’ve been an outlaw long enough; time to get my expired vehicle-inspection sticker replaced. Twenty days of criminal activity is my limit.” (Yes, I always get 13 months out of my inspection stickers. Every now and then, procrastination has its benefits.)
Then I hit you crazy cats with some of this: “Never in the history of vehicle inspections has anyone inspected a vehicle more thoroughly than this gentlemen right here.” (Seriously: dude was doing everything short of disassembling the entire automobile.)
And, finally, I capped my little comedy hat trick with this gem: “Dude, it’s a 2-door Ford, not an F-16.”
Jesus, I’m funny.
Except the joke was on me, because Mr. Super-Thorough-Auto-Inspection Guy? He finished things up and slapped the above shown bright-red “Rejection” sticker on my windshield.
The computer-generated Vehicle Inspection Report was glowing … “Pass” after “Pass” after “Pass … except for the “Exhaust Check,” next to which appeared the word “Fail” … and, hey, speaking of four-letter words that begin with “F” …
He said it probably was just a matter of getting the muffler replaced, as it apparently has rusted through—which, actually, is rather convenient, because what I was really hoping to do less than two months after dropping $1,250 on Wonder Woman’s car was shell out some more cake for an exhaust upgrade on my own ride.
What’s the average annual price tag for owning a horse? I’m thinking about switching up.