Monthly Archives: August 2009

She’s electrifying

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 31, 2009

Man, she’s come a long way. This is a shot of the lovely Jayna exiting the bottom of a tube slide that is located in the playground of the hotel where last night we all slept after spending the day at an amusement park in the White Mountains region of New Hampshire … and when I get done writing all about it tomorrow, and you get done reading all about it shortly thereafter, your hair will stand on end, too. Stay tuned …… [read the rest]

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Ruff is lookin’ mighty rough

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 29, 2009

For the past couple years, Zan has been an avid fan of PBS Kids’ “Fetch with Ruff Ruffman.” He has watched every episode of all three seasons over and over again … and even though he knows, for example, that Mike is going to beat Willie in the final Season 2 showdown, he watches it with as much fervor the umpteen-thousandth time as he did the first time … because he loves it. And since it is so totally wholesome and smart and entertaining, I love it … and I love that he loves it. Basically, when it comes to… [read the rest]

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Heavy Metal

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 27, 2009

It takes a lot of hardware to hold up a big-ass tent that can comfortably accommodate several thousand people. (Bank of America Pavilion in Boston, where we saw Chickenfoot the other night.)… [read the rest]

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Do the chickens have large talons?

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 27, 2009

A few months ago, I was all “Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot!” And you loved it. (At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.) Now, if you’ll please indulge me once more, I’m going to go all “Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot, Chickenfoot!” on you again … but, after this entry, you probably won’t have to hear about them for a while, because Chad, their drummer, will soon head into the studio to record a new album with his main group, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and when that happens, I fear that Chickenfoot won’t ride again for quite some time. So. Chickenfoot came to… [read the rest]

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Posted in Marriage, Music, Van Halen, Zan | 20 Comments

My wife will rock your ass off

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 26, 2009

Some (most?) of you will look at the above picture and say, “Yeah, OK, that’s a nifty guitar and all, but, like, so what?” And if you are one of the people who says that, then so be it, and have a nice day. And some (a few?) of you will look at the above picture and say, “Holy shit, is that ex-Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony‘s famous Jack Daniel’s guitar?” Why, yes, as a matter of fact, it is. And, surely, all of you will say, “That is one bad-ass ‘I’m rocking Michael Anthony’s Jack Daniel’s bass guitar’ pose… [read the rest]

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Tastes like Chickenfoot

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 25, 2009

Remember all that Chickenfoot business a few months ago? When they played that tiny, little, swelteringly hot basement club? Well, the boys were back in town last night, at a much more appropriate venue … and it seemed like the perfect excuse for Wonder Woman and me to spend a whole bunch of money we don’t have by staying overnight at a nearby ritzy hotel. (Hey, we’re just trying to do our part to spur the economy.) I’m happy to report that the show kicked ass, and the entire experience was worth every debt-ridden dime we spent. I’ll give you… [read the rest]

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Wave goodbye

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 22, 2009

The surf was big that day … and the sets that roll in are always irregular and unpredictable. One moment, you think you’re out far enough that you won’t have to worry about any waves crashing down on you … and the next, you’ve gotta make a split-second decision: Do I dive through the wave, or do I try to go over the wave? I generally prefer “over” if I think I can make it … but I’m going to reconsider that approach the next time someone’s standing on the shore shooting photographs … because, dude: nice face. Dork.… [read the rest]

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My Summer Vacation, Part IV

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 22, 2009

See that smile? That, brothers and sisters, is the smile of a man on vacation. A man whose children no longer are babies. A man who didn’t have to spend the first day of his aforementioned vacation driving for 14 sun-baked, traffic-jammed, sanity-shredding hours, and who didn’t have to turn around and do it all over again in reverse at the end of the week. And that man? That man is me. Hallelujah. (Dashing, aren’t I?) Yes, by breaking the trip into two segments, we were at the beach house by 2 o’clock in the afternoon … which, you might… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 26 Comments

Meet “Trouble”

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 20, 2009

How does a 4-year-old come up with a pose like this on her own? Oh, that’s right: because she’s possessed by Satan. We’re saving up for an exorcism … but I fear that the endless screaming and non-stop defiance will drive us all mad before we have enough set aside.… [read the rest]

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Dinner & a show

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 19, 2009

This was the view from our table the night we dined at Fager’s Island in Ocean City, Maryland. We had what the restaurant itself calls the “best seat in the house.” Our annual dinner at Fager’s is always a good time. In fact, the only complaint I have is that they wouldn’t let me become a permanent resident of the little alcove in which our table was located. Jerks.… [read the rest]

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My Summer Vacation, Part III

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 18, 2009

With two previous Bethany Beach vacations under our collective belt, we had it down to a science this year. Firstly, that whole “driving from Boston to Delaware in one fell swoop” thing? Yeah, F that. My in-laws live in the Philly area, so we drive there and back several times per year. The kids have been making the trip since birth, so they’re used to it, and we have perfected its execution: We leave shortly after 6 o’clock at night, make a single stop to use the bathroom and refuel, and arrive around midnight. There’s no traffic, the kids sleep… [read the rest]

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Posted in Family, Life, Parenthood | 13 Comments

Seafood and cervezas

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 17, 2009

On Saturday, after we left Crane Beach, we cruised up to my uncle’s place, which sits high atop a hill overlooking the ocean, and ended up having an impromptu party with some extended-family members who were there. They had originally planned on going out to dinner, but I knew that finding a restaurant in the North Shore area that could seat a walk-in party of 13 on a gorgeous Saturday night in mid-August with a wait time of less than two hours would be slightly more difficult than finding a unicorn. Thankfully, the rest of the group arrived at that… [read the rest]

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Happy Birthday to me … sorta

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 16, 2009

Or, at least, Happy Birthday to my alter ego. Yes, it just dawned on me as I was sitting here trying unsuccessfully to concentrate on a big design project I so foolishly told the client would be done tomorrow (Whoops!) that it was exactly one year ago today when I officially launched this blog. God, the excitement that day was palpable. The whole Internet was abuzz with anticipation, and the moment at which the site went live was the digital equivalent of The Big Bang … as evidenced by the four comments that were left on that first lame-ass post… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 14 Comments

My Summer Vacation, Intermission

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 16, 2009

Part III is almost ready, but while you’re waiting, I had to share with you the culture shock we experienced yesterday when we went to our favorite local beach for the first time since returning from Delaware. This here is Bethany Beach, Delaware … which, as noted in “My Summer Vacation, Part I,” is positively delightful … and positively private:   And this here is Crane Beach, Massachusetts, which we generally love, but … A gentle reminder that our ability to enjoy the luxury of a private beach is predicated upon outside funding. Thank you, M-M and Pop-Pop.… [read the rest]

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Feets don’t fail me now

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 14, 2009

The surf at the beach in Delaware was too rough for them to go in for a dip, so Zan and his cousin Max (both formerly of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) settled for playing that old favorite, “Run Away from the Waves!” … or, as I like to call it, “Keep the Sand Crabs Out of Your Shorts!” Max weighs about six ounces, but despite his small stature, he is far more fearless than Zan … which explains why we had to fish Max out of the surf several times during the course of the game … “several” being… [read the rest]

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Good to the last drop

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 13, 2009

Remember these four full bottles of tequila? Well, not only did we polish them off, but we purchased and drained a fifth bottle, as well. To be fair, the drinking involved eight adults and was spread out over a period of seven nights … so it’s not like we were pounding it down. Although, come to think of it, my mother-in-law and one of my sisters-in-law would usually have only one … and the other sister-in-law would have none … and one of my brothers-in-law was only there for three nights. OK, so, basically, my other brother-in-law, father-in-law, Wonder Woman… [read the rest]

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My Summer Vacation, Part II

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 12, 2009

By the time our frantic quest to keep Zan’s bladder from exploding led us to a horse ranch in the Bronx (I swear to god), we were about seven hours into our 2007 journey home from Delaware — and I had decreed that I would never again consent to a family roadtrip longer than that required to fetch milk from the local grocery. But there I go, jumping ahead again. (And since some of you voiced your disappointment that my previous entry wasn’t more substantial, do get comfortable, because there are roughly 2,000 words in your immediate future.) In July… [read the rest]

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Posted in Family, Jayna, Life, Marriage, Parenthood, Zan | 16 Comments

Rock your socks off

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 11, 2009

One minute, my very talented brother-in-law was upright and rocking out to some Chickenfoot with me at the beach house, and the next … well, let’s just say that the tequila was flowing freely. Actually, I’m pretty sure he launched himself over the back of the couch on purpose … but, regardless, let’s just say that the tequila was flowing freely. Because the tequila? Flowing freely, it was. (P.S.: Congrats to my bro’-in-law, who landed a new day job today … after being subjected to 14 separate interviews by the same employer. Apparently, he’s going to be the new Supreme… [read the rest]

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God, how I miss this view

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 10, 2009

I was on this beach every single day for one week. I slathered myself in 30 SPF sunblock, and still got a tan. That’s how much time I spent on this beach. Did I mention that I love the beach? And you know what I love even more than the beach? I love a private beach. Like this one here, for example. Notice the crowd? Me either. There are few times during which I am more relaxed than while sitting under an umbrella at the beach, watching the waves roll in. I took this photo during one of those few… [read the rest]

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My Summer Vacation, Part I

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 10, 2009

Forty-eight weeks and five days; that’s how long it’ll be before The Scratches Family heads back to the beach house for our annual vacation. You know, not that I’m looking forward to it or anything. But instead of looking ahead to next year, let us back up a bit, for I am sure you all want to hear in agonizingly, excruciatingly, minutiae-filled detail about what has become a summer tradition for my family and me. First, let us tend to the setting. A good story needs a good setting, am I right? And ours takes place on … earth! OK,… [read the rest]

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Posted in Family, Life, Marriage, Parenthood | 8 Comments

You’re welcome, pal

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 7, 2009

Meant to put this one up a long time ago. It’s the Father’s Day card that Zan made for me at school … or, as I like to call it, The Most Special Card Ever.… [read the rest]

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Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 6, 2009

And in the “That Wonder Woman sure is a good sport” category, I give you the “after” shot. (And in case you missed it, here’s the “before.”) Yes, last night, after I finished reading Zan his bedtime story, I came downstairs to find Wonder Woman doing this. Sadly, we were in bed before it had cooled. But, hey, that’s nothing a little insomnia can’t fix, right? So, around midnight, after making some futile attempts to suppress the visions of apple-pie-eating that had been dancing in my head (placed there, no doubt, by the smell of freshly baked apple pie that… [read the rest]

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Triple threat

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 5, 2009

I gotta tell ya, folks … that son o’ mine? A real chip off the ol’ block. I mean, look at him; kid’s a friggin’ stud. Of course, when I was his age, I, too, was quite the little athlete. Organized sports? Couldn’t get enough. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that he now officially is a three-sport athlete. That is, it shouldn’t surprise anyone who didn’t know me as a child, and therefore isn’t aware of the fact that, in my youth, my interest in sports—whether participating in them or watching them—actually was right up there with my… [read the rest]

Posted in Parenthood, Zan | 7 Comments

Man, those balls sure are fuzzy

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 5, 2009

I went to a couple of Zan’s tennis lessons last month, and while I was watching from behind the rusty, chain-link fence that surrounds the court, this ball rolled on over and cozied up to me. Doing this “Photo of the Day” thing for the better part of the past year or so has, in my humble opinion, served one of the primary purposes for which I undertook it, and that is: it has made me a better photographer. A year ago, I would never in a million years have thought to take this picture. And I’m not saying it’s… [read the rest]

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Do you see an apple pie in there? Me either.

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 4, 2009

Yes, Internet, I am using my blog as a means for letting my lovely wife know just how badly I want for her to make the apple pie that for weeks she’s been promising Zan and me she would make. I thought it was a done deal this past weekend … although I knew we were on shaky ground when Zan asked her Saturday, “Mommy, when are you going to make me and Daddy an apple pie?,” to which Mommy responded, “I have all the ingredients we need, buddy!” … which, you may notice upon closer scrutiny, turns out to… [read the rest]

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Somewhere Over the Rainbow

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 3, 2009

Amongst the many rainbow-colored decorations that Wonder Woman procured for Jayna’s birthday party were two of these collapsible balls, both of which now hang from the ceiling in Zan’s bedroom. The ceiling in Zan’s bedroom is roughly two feet above the floor in Zan’s bedroom. Every night, when I finish telling Zan a bedtime story, I slowly and quietly rise to my feet so as not to wake him … and lately, when I do so, my head bonks right into one of these and knocks it to the floor—loudly. It’s a good thing I took a picture of one,… [read the rest]

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Jayna: 4 years

By Daddy Scratches | Published: August 3, 2009

Dear Jayna, Chances are that one day, years from now, I’m going to walk you down an aisle and hand you off to the man with whom you’ll spend the rest of your life (provided that the man in question has passed a thorough background check), and when that day comes, I will say to that man a few words about how precious a thing to me is my daughter, and how I hope he always treats you as such—and then, in addition to handing to that man my daughter, I will hand to that man a pair of earplugs,… [read the rest]

Posted in Jayna, Parenthood | 16 Comments