Forty-eight weeks and five days; that’s how long it’ll be before The Scratches Family heads back to the beach house for our annual vacation. You know, not that I’m looking forward to it or anything.
But instead of looking ahead to next year, let us back up a bit, for I am sure you all want to hear in agonizingly, excruciatingly, minutiae-filled detail about what has become a summer tradition for my family and me.
First, let us tend to the setting. A good story needs a good setting, am I right? And ours takes place on … earth!
OK, I should probably be a little more specific.
Ours takes place on … the eastern seaboard!
In the mid-Atlantic state of … Delaware!
In the town of … Bethany Beach!
In the private community of … I’m not telling!
I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking: “Pffft. They’re, like, four houses back from the beach. Losers.” For shame, I know … but we deal with it.
Let’s hop off the satellite and get a ground-level view, shall we?
That’s my mother-in-law on the front steps there. She and my father-in-law are the generous benefactors who, for three years in a row now, have made it possible for my family, as well as the families of Wonder Woman’s two brothers, to spend a week together in this gorgeous casa … the left carport of which would be the perfect place to store my entire house … and yard … and part of my neighbor’s yard.
The only catch—you know, aside from the whole “I can’t believe we have to walk for 60 seconds in order to reach the sand” thing—is that Delaware is separated from Massachusetts by hundreds of miles … and I’ve thus far been unable to procure for us a private jet.
Which is why, two years ago, when my in-laws rented the house for the first time, I was kind of like, “Wow, that’s very generous of them … but … um … Delaware? Really? So we have to, like, drive to Delaware?” This was a less than desirable prospect under the best of circumstances, but even more so given that, at the time, Zan and Jayna were four years old and two years old, respectively … and, hey, guess what I don’t miss having? A 4-year-old and a 2-year-old!
Yes, that first roundtrip drive to and from Delaware was what you call a “doozy” … and what I call “The shittiest ride in the history of shitty rides.” I’ll tell you all about it … in Part II.
8 Comments
We took one of those trips… but instead of Delaware, it was North Carolina, and from Missouri. I think we were out of our minds! It too was a doozy of a ride. Many tears were shed. Luckily none of them were mine!
Okay that is a good tease but could given us a little more…..
LOL…your commentary about the joys (not) of car rides with young children is VERY validating!!! Thanks for the brief geography lesson
When our first was tiny, we had to drive from Oklahoma to Florida for a similar parent-hosted vacay. We left just before bedtime and drove all night. It was blissfully quiet. And the bonus? We made great time on the empty roads!
A parent hosted vacation, that sounds amazing…no complaining about a car ride…it can’t be more than 8 or 9 hours, which is way better than the 13 I had to drive to the beach.
Part II is almost finished, peeps. And, yes, Mark, I promise to make it more substantial than Part I.
Man I love the DE beaches! My in-laws have a house in Cape May NJ and its just a short ferry ride over to DE where i have many friends. Thank God we don’t have to drive all the way from Boston to enjoy the beauty and serenity of lower DE.
We go to Bethany Beach every summer. LOVE IT! You can drive to Cape May, NJ and take the Ferry across. Might break up your trip a little next time.