Monthly Archives: September 2009

Girl on the Cob

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 30, 2009

As my long, slow descent into the dark and dreary depths of fall and winter in New England continues, I figured I’d take another look back at summer. The photo above was taken at my uncle’s place during our annual Labor Day Weekend fiesta … you know, the weekend when I keep telling everyone that summer doesn’t officially end until late September, even though I know that’s just a technicality?… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 7 Comments

Because apparently it’s Feet Day here at DaddyScratches.com

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 29, 2009

This picture makes me want to focus all of my photography on kids playing in water, because if there’s anything cooler than capturing in a still image drops of water in mid-flight, I don’t know what that thing is. As for why my daughter is washing her feet in the kitchen sink, you can get the background here.… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 4 Comments

The Cruel Shoes

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 29, 2009

See those shoes? If you have young children, you’re probably quite familiar with them. If not: they’re called Crocs … and everyone loves Crocs. Crocs rock. Except, c’mere and I’ll tell you a little secret: I think they suck, and I rue the day my children fell in love with them. I don’t call them Crocs; I call them Trips … because I have watched my children trip and fall in them so many times — particularly Zan, who isn’t the most graceful or coordinated dude in the vicinity to begin with — that one would think I walked around… [read the rest]

Posted in Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 48 Comments

I’m not falling for it. (Get it? Fall-ing? Fall? Oh, nevermind.)

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 25, 2009

One minute, you and your denial are having a perfectly fine time pretending that summer’s not over … and the next minute, your wife is shattering the illusion by building a fall-time diorama on your front lawn.… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 6 Comments

I know they look ridiculously clean, but I swear, they’ve got, like, 40 miles on them already

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 24, 2009

Now that I’ve impressed you with my unrivaled running skills, I figure you’d like to know what kind of footwear a professional such as myself wears while ticking off the miles. I first began running at age 18, during Army basic training. On one of my final nights as a civilian, my Dad took me to a shoe store, where I picked out a pair of running shoes. This decision, as I recall, was based largely on nothing more than how they looked. Once I finished basic training and military police school, and got stationed at my regular duty assignment,… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 8 Comments

Marathon Man

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 23, 2009

A mind’s-eye view of my morning run: 7:30 a.m. – I really should go for a run today. It’s been far too long. 8 a.m. – No, seriously: I should go for a run. 8:30 a.m. – Maybe if I put on my running apparel, it’ll help build some momentum. 8:35 a.m. – Look at that handsome man in the mirror … and look at those guns in that sleeveless shirt. You, my friend, are a powerhouse … and by “powerhouse” I mean “human pipe-cleaner.” Howzabout eating something and maybe lifting a weight? 9 a.m. – Perhaps if I Tweet… [read the rest]

Posted in Buffoonery, Embarrassing | 25 Comments

Hitting the Wall

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 22, 2009

Sometimes, when I leave the house, I take my camera out with me for the sole purpose of capturing an image that I can use for my Photo of the Day feature … and, usually, what happens is, I see something worth photographing, attempt to do so, and discover that I’ve forgotten to remove from the card reader back on my desk the memory card that is supposed to be in the camera, but isn’t. Or, if I should happen to have remembered to return the memory card to its rightful place inside the camera, I’ll drive by something that… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 7 Comments

Farewell, summer. sniff

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 21, 2009

So that’s it. Summer officially ends today. Wonder Woman and I lived in Arizona for a few years, and by the time we moved back to the Boston area in 2000, I was beyond psyched to once again live in a place that had four seasons. It took nine years, but that novelty has officially worn off. To hell with four seasons (unless we’re talking about the luxury hotel chain, in which case: I love you, Four Seasons! Now, how ’bout comping me a room at one of your tropical locations?). I don’t want four seasons; I want an endless… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 13 Comments

She loves a man in uniform

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 18, 2009

Zan decided he wanted to participate in Cub Scouts, so Mommy went out and bought all the gear last night, washed the shirt, and affixed to said freshly laundered shirt all of the little patches and whatnot that an aspiring Cub Scout needs. The woman has mad skillz, y’all. Tonight was the inaugural “pack meeting,” which was scheduled for 7 p.m. until 8:30 p.m. … because nothing says “We’re geared toward 6-year-old children and their families” quite like siphoning all the money out of our pockets on Thursday night ($62 for a shirt, belt, kerchief and some patches? What the… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 10 Comments

Pay no attention to that safer vaccine behind the curtain

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 17, 2009

So I took the kids to get their flu shots yesterday, and it sucked. The End. Seriously, need I say more? I mean, if you’ve ever had to take your kids to get a flu shot — or any shot, for that matter — you know the deal: shot = sucks. The End. But, of course, that’s not The End, is it? No, certainly not … for I must entertain and astound you, and, with any luck, make you regurgitate your beverage through your nose. So … When Wonder Woman informed me that she had a work commitment Wednesday evening,… [read the rest]

Posted in Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 31 Comments

An even bigger girl

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 16, 2009

Jayna started her second year of preschool yesterday, so we did our customary first-day-of-school photo shoot. No stranger to the whole first-day-of-school thing himself, big brother Zan was on hand to lend moral support. Based on the difficult time she had with going to preschool last year — which we believe is attributable to her being younger than just about every other child in her class — we decided to have her repeat the two-day preschool program instead of move ahead to the three-day program. She asked if Wonder Woman and I could both take her to school yesterday, so… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 4 Comments

The Towers

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 15, 2009

In August of 1995, Wonder Woman’s parents, who could not believe that the long-haired schmuck their daughter was dating was so much of a rube that he had never in all of his 25 years of living in the Northeast been to New York City, decided to take their daughter and said rube on a whirlwind tour of Manhattan Island. We drove from Philly to Jersey, then took the ferry across the Hudson. The picture shown above, as awful and grainy as it is (I wasn’t into photography back then), is basically the first view I ever had of New… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 11 Comments

9/11

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 11, 2009

No one I knew or was related to died on that awful day, and I was neither in New York nor Washington D.C. when it happened; like most, I listened to it on the radio and watched it on TV. The people who experienced it firsthand, and the people who lost loved ones, are the people who have truly meaningful stories to tell about Sept. 11, 2001. Still, for eight years, I’ve always felt the need to write about it, both for myself, and for my children, so that, when they’re old enough, and if they care to, they can… [read the rest]

Posted in Life, Parenthood | 29 Comments

Comin’ down the mountain

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 9, 2009

After inadvertently helping my kids to determine that nature sucks, I, in the hopes of not ending our mini-vacation on a sour note, pointed the car north, and, a short while later, arrived at Attitash ski resort — which, during the off-season, it turns out, is converted into a summer playground. The main attraction? An alpine slide that, according to the resort’s website, is the longest in all of North America. Now, not only had Zan and Jayna never been on an alpine slide; I’d never been on one, either. (Wonder Woman claims to have gone on one as a… [read the rest]

Posted in Family, Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 15 Comments

Rubberband Man

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 9, 2009

As noted in my latest blog entry, Zan and I were both pretty disappointed that we couldn’t take a second trip down the alpine slide together … but he recovered nicely by opting to instead get hooked up to some bungee cords and launch himself skyward by bouncing up and down on a trampoline. The shit these kids get to do nowadays. Hell, when I was a kid, the closest we came to something like this was jumping off the roof with an umbrella.… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 2 Comments

Does a dinosaur GLARE?

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 8, 2009

One of the books Jayna frequently chooses at bedtime is “How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food?,” in which a two-page layout of a grumpy-looking brontosaurus is accompanied by the question, “Does a dinosaur GLARE?” … and each time I read that question, Jayna demonstrates for me her ability to glare … which, clearly, she has perfected. And I know some of you are looking at me with this same expression right now, and you’re saying, “Dude, where the hell is Part III of that White Mountains mini-vacation story you were telling us?” It’s coming … tomorrow. Sorry; my blogging time… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 8 Comments

Cinderella’s Castle … on a budget

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 4, 2009

OK, so maybe it ain’t this, but it was more than enough to keep the kiddos happy during our recent day trip to Story Land. Granted, the inside was a bit rundown, and Cinderella looked like the wicked stepsisters had forced her to do a few too many chores, but still …… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 3 Comments

Look at all the gorgeous wonders of nature, kids! Kids? Hello?

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 4, 2009

Travel tip for all you parents out there: If you’d like to take your kids on a nature hike to see a spectacular waterfall in the mountains, don’t do it less than 24 hours after taking them to an enormous amusement park, because if you do, your kids will tell nature to go suck it. Yes, the morning after we went to Story Land, the weather again was beautiful, and seeing as how we were in the White Mountains and all, we decided we should take in some of the natural splendor of the region … so we checked out… [read the rest]

Posted in Family, Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 14 Comments

First-class ride

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 2, 2009

Well, that’s it. Summer’s pretty much over, and Zan’s off to college, and I can’t write much more about it right now, because I have to get back to filling out the form for my AARP membership. How did this all happen so fast?? He started first grade today. First. Grade. My son. The kid who I couldn’t believe just started kindergarten a few weeks ago, and — What’s that? That was a year ago?? Clearly someone’s been slipping roofies into my iced tea. That’s the only plausible explanation for these massive and sudden leaps forward in my personal timeline.… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 7 Comments

Yes, we actually took the kids on a little hike to a place of natural wonder … and they hated it

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 1, 2009

A lovely shot (if I do say so myself) of Diana’s Bath in North Conway, New Hampshire, which we visited the morning after our Story Land adventure. The kids staged a mutiny shortly after we arrived. Fortunately, our next destination was more to their liking … which I’ll tell you about in my next blog entry, coming soon. (Yes, I’m such a tease.)… [read the rest]

Posted in Featured Photo | 3 Comments

Quest for Fun

By Daddy Scratches | Published: September 1, 2009

Sorry for the delay getting this entry up, but I had to wait for John Travolta to swing by my place and stab me in the heart with an enormous, adrenaline-filled syringe … because I overdosed on fun this weekend. (Sunday and Monday, actually, but “I overdosed on fun this past Sunday and Monday” doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as nicely as “weekend,” so I took a little poetic license back there. My blog, my rules.) Yes, Wonder Woman and I took the kids on an adventure of epic proportions — a 33-hour bonanza packed with more fun and… [read the rest]