I know they look ridiculously clean, but I swear, they’ve got, like, 40 miles on them already

Now that I’ve impressed you with my unrivaled running skills, I figure you’d like to know what kind of footwear a professional such as myself wears while ticking off the miles.

I first began running at age 18, during Army basic training. On one of my final nights as a civilian, my Dad took me to a shoe store, where I picked out a pair of running shoes. This decision, as I recall, was based largely on nothing more than how they looked.

Once I finished basic training and military police school, and got stationed at my regular duty assignment, I swore off running, because I was a scrawny little pipsqueak who limited his fitness regimen to lifting weights and drinking every heinous muscle-building shake under the sun. No cardio, thank you.

In my late 20s, I realized that all this weightlifting was a wonderful thing, but I would get winded from jogging up my front steps. I decided to start running again.

For clarity’s sake, when I use the word “running,” I’m referring to the act of putting one foot in front of the other at a pace faster than that of a normal walk. Some might say “jogging” would be a more accurate description. Still others might feel “hobbling rapidly” would better capture the essence of my roadwork. I’m keeping it simple by using “running” as a catch-all term.

Over the past 10 years, I’ve worn Asics running shoes almost exclusively, except for a brief foray eight-or-so years ago into a pair of New Balance kicks, which I bought because they’re a local company, and I like their philosophy. Unfortunately, what I didn’t like was the way my feet felt in them. Thus, I returned to Asics yet again.

Until a few weeks ago, every pair of running shoes I ever bought, I selected on my own, with the occasional input of a salesperson who knew perhaps even less than I did about how best to select a running shoe. In retrospect, this wasn’t an entirely wise decision … a realization that comes courtesy of the best running-shoe-purchasing experience I’ve ever had.

In August, I needed to buy some new running shoes, and discovered that the model I’d been wearing had been discontinued. I quickly found myself overwhelmed by the many choices available, and after trying on a bunch of pairs at the closest sporting-goods store, I was no closer to a final choice, so I decided to get some professional help.

For years, I had heard great things about a Boston-area running shop named Marathon Sports [not a paid plug, I assure you], where, I was told, the associates could be counted upon to help you pick out a pair of shoes that would suit you perfectly. I can now attest to the accuracy of that statement.

The employee who helped me had me remove my shoes, stand with my feet together, walk in straight line toward him, and walk in a straight line away from him. He also examined the wear on the Asics shoes I was replacing … which, he informed me, were the wrong style for my foot and gait. He then selected a pair he thought would work for me, had me lace them up, took me outside, and had me run to the end of the building and back so that he could further assess the appropriateness of the shoe he had chosen.

Apparently, he knows what he’s doing, because the shoes he recommended for me, shown above, are the most perfect-feeling running shoes I’ve ever run/jogged/briskly hobbled in. Makes me wish I had gone to see him 10 years ago. Hell, just imagine if I’d been wearing the proper footwear this past decade; perhaps my 5-mile run would seem like a quaint little stroll instead of an ass-kicking marathon.