Well, then.
So, it would appear that the whole child-free vs. having-children thing is what’s called a “hot-button topic,” as evidenced by the response to my previous blog entry.
Now, just to clarify: my intention was not to point a big foam “Parents are #1!” finger in the face of every adult who decides to not have children and say “You suck and I rule!” It was to say to the couple of militantly anti-child folks who decided to use me as their mascot that they were missing the big picture.
Obviously, given the nature of this blog, the majority of the responses were from parents who share my view about the balance between the challenges and the rewards of having children, and to you, I say: “Thank you for stroking my ego.”
A handful of other comments came from people in the child-free camp, to include the following one from Maggie, a child-free person whose only quarrel with what I wrote had to do with the perpetuation of humanity:
I mostly agree with what you said, except for one assumption I think you’re making: As a childfree person, I don’t actually mind if the human race “is totally fucked” b/c everyone stops having children. That’s actually ok with me. It would certainly be easier on the rest o’ the creatures.
So, technically, Maggie isn’t anti-child, but rather, anti-human … which certainly makes her decision to not have children an understandable one.
Perhaps my favorite comment of all, however, was from Laura, another child-free person:
I also have chosen to be childfree. This was an incredibly difficult and personal decision, as is the decision to have children. I love kids and have several in my life in the form of nieces, nephews, cousins and the list goes on. And even though I love them, I still don’t feel called to raise one of my own. It’s not narcissism or selfishness or anything like that. Just like so many of you feel called to raise children and have those experiences that are wonderful for you, I feel called in a different direction. Both choices, to parent or not to parent, are perfectly valid and both can be loving and thoughtful decisions.
I don’t agree with militant child-free folks either, but when I was in the process of making the decision I did notice that some well-meaning parents would not hesitate to offer their opinion as to how I would be missing out and how I’m signing up for regret and so on. And that’s just as unfair as me, a person without kids, telling parents how to raise their kids. I think that’s where the “support” blogs come in. Unfortunately, some of those blogs come across as angry rantings rather than a celebration of the many different lifestyle choices available to us.
Your blog is wonderful and it is really clear that you love and enjoy your kids. And I am so grateful for people like you bringing kids into the world and giving them wonderful lives full of love and laughter. You are making a wonderful contribution. And so am I, just in a different way.
Laura, if there were more people like you in the world, it would be a better place. I hope your sensibilities rub off on your nieces, newphews and cousins.
Glad the having children post is such a hot topic b/c you are unwittingly sending lots of people over to my blog…somehow. Was it the peas on my testicles post you linked to from Dooce perhaps?
ha ha
Love your writing style and right on!
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Laura spoke her piece wonderfully, as did you.
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Thank you so much for your very very kind words
And I’m flattered that you featured my comment here 
And I love the title of this post! haha
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I think there is a distinction to be made between lovely people like Laura who are perhaps rightfully labeled compassionately “childfree” and those who are “anti-children” who protest so vehemently against having children, and their right not to procreate, that they form their own blogs for that very purpose. To those “anti-children” advocates, I say they should be thankful that their own parents didn’t adhere to the same anti-child principles…or maybe the rest of us should wish that they had!
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–>I didn’t realize it was such a hot topic either.
Having worked with children who were agressively mentally ill and sometimes sex offenders, it’s better that those who don’t want kids, don’t have them.
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AMEN to Laura! I said, AMEN to Laura! For the record, all I wanted to say was “Amen to Laura” but I got an error message saying my comments was a bit too short. So I had to elaborate.
toadmama´s last blog ..The LOVEly Leaf – Wordless Wednesday
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I had no idea this was such a hot topic…found the link to here via dooce…funny thing is, I switched camps a couple years back…went from not wanting kids at 37 to “OOPS!” here he is at 38.
It’s been the Best/Worst Thing I’ve Ever Done. I can now relate to parents suffering from a plethora of maladies (sleep deprivation, pulled muscles, etc. ad nauseum), as much as I can still see how my life would be different if I were still Childfree, and identify with the smugness offered there.
In all honesty, I’m still on the fence.
Tamara´s last blog ..HAPPY THIRD BLOG-A-VERSARY!
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In my former circle of friends (yes, sadly, I said former), having children vs. being child-free was very much a hot topic and some were so militant about it. Ruining the planet, disease, pestilence, hellfire, etc. on the latter side. One had a bumper sticker saying “Thank You For Not Breeding.” I wasn’t of the anti-child camp (or as you put it, “anti-human”), but did choose to be child-free figuring I have so many neices and nephews, friends’ kids, etc. around me, and I frankly didn’t know if I had the skills and wherewithal it took to be a parent.
Then at age 35 I “switched camps.” as Tamara said, and decided I could and wanted to do it. TWICE! Do it up right, I say! And wow, then I really saw even more clearly that all of that parent-bashing my friends did back then was vile and so hateful.
Anyway, this epic comment was just to say bravo to you, bravo to Laura, for being able to express either decision as thoughtful, compassionate adults!
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This subject makes me so sad and has irked me for YEARS – and I say years because people have been telling me ever since my first was born that I should be sure to have no more than two, because “it’s just plain irresponsible after that”.
I think it’s awful to think of children as “harmful to the environment” and so on. Raising children who are responsible in ways of caring for themselves, others, and the world around them, is NOT a terrible thing to do, and, in fact, has a very positive effect on the world. And I wish more people would realize that. As for those who are choosing not to have children in order to save the planet amongst other reasons, I hope they realize that once they’re dead, it will be the children of the people who chose to have kids who remain on said planet to be left to their own devices (and I am confident that they will be fine, really, but I imagine that this sends some people into hysterics). Anyway.
I’ve really enjoyed your blog ever since finding it a few weeks ago. I appreciate your honesty about everything. It’s very refreshing.
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No one ever led me to believe being a parent would be easy. I knew going in it would be the toughest job I would ever hold. But the raises and awards I get for it far outweigh the negative – WTG Laura!
Cindy´s last blog ..When it rains…it pours…
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Kudos to you Laura! I love kids… I think.. I know I love kittens, not so much cats. I love all these little people around me and watching who they become. It is an amazing process. I guess that is why I have 5. Or it could be the fact that I don’t know how they are made
So my family says… they are waiting for #6!
Erin´s last blog ..1 day down
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i’ve enjoyed your blog, but the title to this one has turned me off. fox, is the only channel where you get any view of the right! that means every other news channel thinks they are fair and balanced but clearly loves to spread the LEFT wing propaganda and call it news.
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Can we just call it a draw and admit that all of the media can be extremely skewed at times?
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Wow….I am shocked to think that some people thought for even half a second that you did not love or want your children! Clearly they are not regular readers! :0)
I say, kudos to the people who choose to be childless! They make that choice for a reason….whatever that reason might be!
I love being a wife and mother. I cannot think of a more rewarding ‘job’ in the world!
Keep blogging. Keep being you. Your blog will be an amazing gift to your children (who know the extent of your love for them firsthand). I am certain that just as we sit here and laugh, they too will sit and laugh…perhaps when they are raising children of their own!
Stephanie´s last blog ..Need to Laugh?
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Personally, I like to get my news from Jon Stewart and Colbert. I’d rather laugh than raise my blood pressure. btw, I met Jon once at a hotel I worked at (sold him some gum) and I got so excited, I drew a blank on his name and almost called him Jimmy Stewart. Instead I blurted out a witty “You’re famous, aren’t you?” Genius.
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I have no idea how I chanced upon your blog… (but then I found that you are a fan of The Bloggess so I instinctively like you, not that you care about whether I like you or not…) 1) I LOVE your “kids for sale” post. Anybody that has witnessed the trial and tribulation of parenting would immediately know that it’s a sardonic piece. If not, you are then a deranged, and rather dumb, criminal to have promoted your crime so publicly. 2) I didn’t know about the secret societies of the militantly childless. Thank you very much for the inside of me dying just a little bit more. 3) You have received hundreds of comments so I am not sure whether anybody has mentioned this rhetoric against the argument against “breeding”: These people so holier than thou at being childless will need to be cared for by the now annoying children one day. Statistically yes there are enough human beings to go about for the entire planet. Unfortunately that’s not how geo-politics works. So do they plan to “import” 3rd world labors to take care of them when they are old since there would not be enough to go around here, in the US? (Please, I am using my sarcastic voice so please don’t accuse me for being a racist…) Look at Japan. They are building and improving their robots for exactly that purpose. 4) How did you go from arguing with the militant arm of the childless by choice to having to show Obermann’s clip to prove your point on Fox news? You seem to be a magnet for trouble. Awesome. Will be back.
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