Howzabout we just pretend I never said anything, and you can all crawl back into the sewer?

Wow. Just … wow.

I’ve gotten quite an education over the past couple of days about a controversy I never knew existed.

There apparently are battle lines drawn out there. On one side are the Childfree (a single word, I’ve learned), and on the other side are the Childed (what most people refer to as “Parents,” and what the angry faction of the Childfree movement refers to as “Breeders”; they also refer to mothers as “Moos” and fathers as “Duhdees” … and, I swear to Christ, I’m not making this up).

When I sat down to write my “So now I’m the unwitting poster child for why people shouldn’t have children?” entry the other day, I said to myself, “Self, this seems like a relatively entertaining topic … the fact that your tongue-in-cheek ‘Kids for Sale’ thing is being waved as a flag around which to rally those who have chosen to be child-free.”

And so I wrote my little “So now I’m the unwitting poster child …” thing, and I posted it, and I mostly got what I expected: lots of comments from the many parents who read this site and could relate to what I was saying about being a parent.

I also expected to hear from some in the Childfree camp, and I can understand why a few of them may have taken issue with what I wrote, because its tone was harsh … which, in all honesty, didn’t have a thing to do with me having any kind of opinion — good, bad or indifferent — about people who don’t have kids (because, truth be told, I really, really, really couldn’t care less whether or not another human being has chosen to procreate; I have enough shit of my own to worry about, thank you); what it actually had to do with was the fact that I mostly paint with fluorescent, Day-Glo colors here, because I’m trying to make this shit leap off the page, not blend in with the wallpaper. Yes, when it comes to taking poetic license (or literary license, as it were), I flail about with wild abandon.

If my remarks were directed at any singular entity, that entity was not the general Childfree population, but rather the author of HappilyChildFree.com — partly because I felt like he/she was taking something I wrote and using it in a manner that misrepresented my true feelings … and mostly because the simple fact that he/she had decided to link to my “Kids For Sale” entry gave me something interesting to write about.

Of course, what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was about to walk into a shit storm. You know, ’cause that’s what I need.

Had I taken the time to really dig into HappilyChildFree.com before writing my piece, I maybe would have thought twice about posting it, because what I assumed was probably just a harmless little blog that had benignly linked to my “Kids For Sale” entry turns out to be one of many tiny tent poles propping up the slime-covered canopy under which the aforementioned angry faction of the Childfree movement — whose presence, I swear, I was completely unaware of before I stepped on this landmine — huddles together all hunched over and cackles about us awful Breeders whilst rubbing together their cloven hooves and burning holes in the ground with their “Alien”-like drool.

As fate would have it, I didn’t find that out until after the fact … which explains how I inadvertently placed myself in the crosshairs of a small number of lunatics — some of whom, for the sake of example, have created a messageboard thread all about me (so flattered!) at the insightfully titled BratFree.com, where they’ve written things like this:

“… And like clockwork, [the “Kids For Sale” entry is] followed by a post with a GIANT picture of the GirlBrat’s mug (sitting in a bathtub, HOW original) yammering about how such a hellion could be so sweet and delighful.”

“Use protection next time, DUH.”

“Duhddies are more delusional than the moos.”

“This is probably the type of prick who put more thought into the colour of his car than he thought about having kids.”

And my personal favorite:

“DAMN YOU. Now I want to find this guy and KILL HIM.”

Honorable mention goes to the following two comments, left just now by a couple of troglodyte spawn who slithered over here from that messageboard and used their rat-like noses to peck this out on their keyboards:

“Ugly kids your balljuice created. Gross.”

“Wow, you write just like Dave Barry. I hate Dave Barry. Almost as much as I hate ‘Candyland’ but that’s neither here nor there. Oh, and kids suck.”

Actually, that last one there is more of a backhanded compliment … so, um … thanks!

Now, to be clear: I know that, much like White Supremacists don’t represent all caucasians, these sick, twisted, mouth-breathing fuckheads don’t represent the entire Childfree population, which I’ve seen firsthand is also occupied by completely sane, compassionate, reasonable adults. It’s like my grandfather (Grandbreeder?) used to say: “There’s always a shithead in every group.”

So, to the Shitheads: I’m very sorry I accidentally knocked over your cup of poison. It was not my intention to find some rancid little subsection of society that I could whip into a narcissistic frenzy; it was my intention to entertain the demographic that usually frequents this site … you know, the Breeders … the Moos … the Duhdees.

It has been very … eye-opening to make your acquaintance, but I’m all done with this topic, and I’m also all done hosting a battleground in my Comments. Yes, it’s very one-sided of me to deny you your voice from this point forward … but this is my little fiefdom, and I made it to share with those who are interested my experience of being, among other things, a father, and not to give you some place to vent your obvious unhappiness with the world.

By all means, you’re welcome to continue to come here and read things that will make your tiny little reptilian heads spin around and spout steam, if you like — after all, I get paid every time you view a page — but if you’re looking for someplace to spew invective, please kindly crawl back into the holes from whence you came. Or, hell, make yourselves some new holes … just as long as they’re not here. I would appreciate it … and, in return, I’ll never mention you again.

Love,

Duhdee Scratches

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70 Comments

  1. Posted October 16, 2009 at 1:42 am | Permalink

    Yeah, radical CFers make those of us who rationally decided not to have kids want to gouge out our own eyes. Or something.

    Sorry you got caught up in the spew. For what it’s worth I think your kids are pretty adorable and I really enjoy your blog and your writing.

    Not to mention there are far worse people you could be compared to than Dave Barry.

    Hang in there, Duhdee. 🙂
    .-= Kara´s last blog ..Welcome to Another Diet Forum =-.

  2. Posted October 16, 2009 at 2:24 am | Permalink

    Methinks they protest too much. Hang in there, Daddy Scratches. I enjoy your blog, have a link to it at my own site, have no children, and I’m 68. As I said earlier, non carborundum illegitimi.

    http://gullible-gulliblestravels.blogspot.com/
    .-= Gullible´s last blog ..From morn till night… =-.

  3. Posted October 16, 2009 at 6:50 am | Permalink

    Well, what color IS your car? And do you sometimes accidentally call your kids “Honda” or “Chevy”? Hmmmmm? Admit it. You only had kids so you could get a super-hot minivan.

    What are you going to write about next? I think you should start a friendly breastfeeding debate.
    .-= EG´s last blog ..Fall Foliage =-.

  4. Posted October 16, 2009 at 7:51 am | Permalink

    EG stole my question. The car color thing. Cause you totally seem like the kind of guy that would just share his balljuice whenever possible, not caring at all about any kids that might result. (Just to be clear, I AM trying to be sarcastic here.)

    There are apparently some very bitter folks out there…

    But, really… “balljuice”? That’s a new one on me.
    .-= toadmama´s last blog ..Grandparents’ Weekend =-.

  5. Posted October 16, 2009 at 7:51 am | Permalink

    –>W O W.
    Such resentment from that radical group of non-parents. I guess since they have no one else to worry about but themselves they have time to commiserate and work themselves up into a frenzy over your Kids for Sale post.
    Meanwhile, gotta go – – time to make my son’s lunch and head out for the day. Ah hem.

    ~deb
    .-= WebSavyMom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday (Part 35) – Not All Ladybugs Are Ladies =-.

  6. Posted October 16, 2009 at 7:59 am | Permalink

    This is good shit! I don’t even remember how I found your blog, but I’m glad I did! I like EG’s suggestion. Or maybe we could discuss whether or not to immunize our children…that will bring the freaks out of the wood work for sure.

    Awesome blog!
    .-= Tysgirl´s last blog ..s c a t t e r e d t h o u g h t s =-.

  7. Posted October 16, 2009 at 8:53 am | Permalink

    AWESOME job Jon! Keep them coming! Oh and, your kids….ARE ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!!! Have a great weekend!
    .-= Kari Anne´s last blog ..…BLAH/BAD DAY… =-.

  8. Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:26 am | Permalink

    I’m always surprised at the venom some people are willing to spew on others, especially people they have never even met. Is this what the distance of the Internet has done to us, taken our sense of appropriate behaviour away from us? This nearly matches the hatemail bestowed on Dooce. Welcome to the world of insane haters who should really take up some sort of sport.

    I’ve received a fair amount of schtick from bechilded friends and aquiantiances for not being willing to babysit. I find that equally disturbing. Why would you entrust your child to someone not particularly suited to the task…? I’d be the first to jump in and rescue their sprogs from drowning, but from there to eternally love all children that did not emerge from my own limbs there is a big leap. I can promise total and unconditional love to a small person that I myself give life to, if I am lucky enough to experience it. But not to kids in general. I’m like my mother that way.

    Thank you for your entertaining writing! You’re clearly a good dad and a fun person to boot. Well done! Live long and prosper.
    .-= Ine´s last blog ..Romania and its dogs =-.

  9. Sue V.
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:32 am | Permalink

    Yikes, so not a fan of the nasty side of the world. Thanks for keeping it entertaining – love your blog.

  10. Peggy
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    Yours has become one of the more interesting/entertaining blogs I have read in a long time!

    Freaking awesome! Screw the douche bags! Keep it coming!

  11. Missy
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:35 am | Permalink

    O M G – how funny – good post. Glad that the BF.com people don’t procreate. They will be gone once they die. LOL I killme.

  12. medkid
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    Ahahaha! Fantastic post. I recently moved to NYC and my roommate has slowly convinced me that the world is filled with crazies. Though I debate the filled part, I think your blog posts reaction by the childfree world might have just put some more weight to her argument. 🙂

  13. Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:49 am | Permalink

    Wow. As part of your usual demographic (a moo), of course I am siding with you on this one. To each his own, but to spread hate and evil is just so uncool. You handled this with maturity and grace (probably skills you learned from being a parent – go figure!)
    .-= Candi´s last blog ..Hardee Har Har =-.

  14. Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    My God, I’ve never heard of this bunch before. I can’t believe people would actually dedicate any part of their lives to creating such silliness as “moos”, duhdees” and “breeders.” It’s really rather sad don’t you think? Whatever any one group’s idealism, when it creates a life filled with invective or suicide bombers for that matter, it’s very sad to see those lives wasted in such fruitless endeavors.

    I’m a believer in the Law of Attraction (note: I didn’t say I was good at following it) and recently I’ve read some stories about how positive thinking is not good for the country and a lot of other negative things. All I know is that when I think positive happy thoughts I just feel better and usually my life runs more smoothly. Hate is always sad and I would think would lead to a life of sadness.

    I agree with Missee. Thank God these people DON’T procreate.

    BRAVO to you for blocking this stuff from your blog. I come here to enjoy the world a little more. If I want to read that crap I’ll turn on Fox news
    .
    .-= Cats Meow´s last blog ..Sleepy-Time Weather =-.

  15. Posted October 16, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    Long time lurker here that found you from Pioneer Woman’s site. I am in shock over the anger that these Childfree sheep carry around for us breeders. Amazing.

    MOOOOOOOO!!!
    .-= Paige´s last blog ..Sometimes You Do Have to Ask Why =-.

  16. GreatAunt
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    Bravo, Daddy! I’m one of those (hopefully) sane (at least not radically hateful) child-free woman who thinks it’s all perfectly well and good for folks to procreate. Where would I be if my parents were me? Did that make sense? LOL

    Keep up the with the excellent writing and let their hate fall away. They must not like themselves very much, me thinks.

  17. Posted October 16, 2009 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    I love your blog, I really , really do, But I got to tell you, the words ball juice make me want to hurl. I wish I had never, never, ever read that term.
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..A foretaste of what is to come. =-.

  18. Lynda
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 10:53 am | Permalink

    I love this site! MOOOOOOOOOO!

  19. Carla
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    Hi,

    I’m a 31 y/o portuguese mom of a 21 month toddler, I’ve been a fan of your blog for a few months, although I’ve never left a comment before…
    I really like you blog, it’s the MOST interesting blog I’ve read in a long time.
    Thanks for sharing your life! Makes me feel I’m not alone, as everyone else around me seems to have the perfect kids/ babies, and have all the answers.

  20. Allyssa
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    I am totally freaked out right now. Who knew there was this crazed faction? I continue to be amazed, the older I get, the more weird people I come across. First I became a mom and then came to the realization that there are about a million mom-factions (breastfeeding, immunizing, organic eating, cloth diapering, chemical-free, extended rear-facing in the child seat, Gymboree-loving, Hanna Anderson-wearing, SAHM v. working out of the home, etc)…and I’ve actually took up some causes, hopefully without vehemence towards others, but with my own opinions, certainly. However, you have enlightened me to this whole other faction of humans that is very very bizarre and disturbing. Like, you know there are white supremecists in the world, but you just think they live only in a small village in South Carolina and you put it out of your mind that this intolerant subsection of humanity exists…and then BAM, you are confronted with them and their very existence is throw into your world and its like WHOA, get the hell out of here. I don’t want to know you. Yeah, that’s totally how I feel right now. I’m going to go away now and hopefully tomorrow I will have forgotten that this child-hating faction exists and I never want to speak nor hear of this again.

  21. Amy
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    As a future Moo of Twins I would like to thank you for your posts. I find them interesting and entertaining. I am glad that the child haters have found their own little corner of the universe to fester in and am very glad that I don’t ever have to visit there. 🙂

  22. Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    Seriously, who are these people and how exactly do they think they came into existence? You’d think us breeders would get a shout-out just for the fact that someone bothered to carry them to term.
    .-= A&EMom´s last blog ..Little A Turns Two! =-.

  23. Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:58 am | Permalink

    Keep doing what you do best DaddyScratches! Being the best daddy to those beautiful children of yours, and entertaing us with your wit, humor, and charm!!!

    PS. I know your busy, but try not to go too many days between blogs, do you know how disappointing it is to log on everyday and not see a new entry!!! (((wink))) (((wink)))…Joking..I know your doing your best…now go get some sleep!

  24. Danielle
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    Holy crap.

    Um, just for the record, I’m “childfree” (happily and intentionally) and married (just so you know my childfree state is not from lack of opportunity). I feel the overwhelming urge to pipe up and declare before you and your other readers that not all of us are insane. Most of us actually really like (even love!) kids – we just have some personal and very relevant reasons for choosing not to have any of our own.

    I can’t believe all the hate out there and I’m so incredibly sorry this lighthearted (I thought) and hilarious debate got hijacked and morphed into WWIII.

    How do these people feel about their own parents? Do they start shouting matches at the Thanksgiving dinner table, accusing their parents of being pathetic breeders? Have they no shame?

    Yikes.

  25. Liz
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    I never knew this kind of stuff existed and have to say I can’t wipe the smile off my face. It’s hilarious! There are real people out there that actually think this way? I’m always amazed at the time and energy the lunatics have to track down blogs and blurbs to spew their views.

    And I love your grandbreeder’s comment……there’s a shithead in every group…LOL. The wisdom of our elders. Love it!

  26. Media
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    I’m new to your blog and I LOVE it. After reading all of this crap I have come to one conclusion, it’s fortunate for all of us that they have chosen not to have kids and pass that poison onto another generation!!!!
    Mooooooooo!

  27. Posted October 16, 2009 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    I love your blog and your attitude toward your family. What’s the point if you can’t laugh at your own life when the opportunity presents itself? Would these crazies feel better if you devoted your life to being miserable and spreading it on the internet because you made the terrible decision of breeding?

    Danielle touched on a good thought. Do these people resent their parents for bringing THEM into this world? Maybe they were immaculately conceived. Do they feel like they shouldn’t be alive? Are they making it their mission to prevent people from having children to prevent more of their kind from populating the world? I’m really interested in their overall beliefs/mission, and feel like I should read up on these people.

    But I probably won’t.
    .-= Joe´s last blog ..In Sickness and in Health =-.

  28. Stefanie
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    Here’s my question – they didn’t/don’t want kids so why are they so bothered by your post about selling yours? Anyone with half a brain could tell you were being sarcastic. What difference does it make to them? And since your blog is mainly about your family why are they even bothering looking at what you say? Sounds like some just need another avenue to whine about or maybe deep down they really are jealous. You know some people just aren’t happy unless they have something to complain about.

    Keep on writing. Love your blog!

  29. Stefanie
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    Oh, btw – just came back from Walt Disney World. The mouse told me to tell you hello!

  30. Posted October 16, 2009 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    What I don’t understand is all the hatred and ugliness. If you don’t want to have kids, fine. If others do want to have kids, that is fine too. How does saying ugly things and personally attacking someone and their kids benefit the Childfree position at all?? Or benefit the attacker personally??

    Hate just doesn’t make sense, in any situation.

    Moo.
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Promises… =-.

  31. Tracey
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 1:50 pm | Permalink

    Love it. Your Grandbreeder? A wise fellow. But let’s thank the shitheads … without them I would have been denied this entertaining lunchtime read.

  32. Posted October 16, 2009 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

    *giggle* Balljuice. I like it! It has class!

    Anyway, don’t listen to them. You are a great father and quite the human being. They will go back to their corner soon enough and this will all die down.
    .-= Karen´s last blog ..Yay Me! =-.

  33. Mary
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 4:36 pm | Permalink

    Those ultra-angry childfree-ers don’t seem to even realize how stupid they are making themselves out to be. When all a person has to say is simply slanderous without any sort of educated ideas to talk about, they are digging their own grave. If it wouldn’t start a major cyber-riot, I’d say post their idiotic comments and let the intelligent public form their own opinion. All they have in their arsenal is a bunch of childish names to label us– mooos and duhdees. clever. I feel so broken now, maybe they know a site where I can sell my 3 kids? I guess I’ll rethink my husband’s and my decision to perpetuate the human race with intelligent beings.

  34. Jen
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm | Permalink

    balljuice…ha ha that’s great.

  35. Karla
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 5:46 pm | Permalink

    Thank you. As a new mom, I find your blog fun, entertaining and down-to-earth and I really enjoy reading your blog. But the tone from the rather crazy childfree folks was a bit much – thank you for putting a stop to it. I happened to poke around at one of the sites you linked to and was amazed – astounded – at the incredible amounts of anger and meanness from the blog’s author and those commenting. I’m all for people making their own choices in their lives, and I think I’d even agree that there are probably some people who really shouldn’t have kids, but to live one’s life in such a state of anger and hatred…it was incredibly disheartening and sad to see.

    So, thanks! I look forward to hearing more of the adventures of Daddy Scratches!

  36. Posted October 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm | Permalink

    My thoughts to this utter waste of a good blogging mind (but highly entertaining subject for the rest of us who support Daddy Scratches):
    Why the hell are these ChildFree-ers reading your blog in the first place? Aren’t they too busy laughing at the rest of us while they steal all the childrens Christmas presents? I think that you are a BRILLIANT writer, end of story. But why the hell are they justifying thier choice to be childless with your life? Are they just in need of entertainment? If so, fine, but don’t take your hilarious posts and use it as a reference for thier “This is why I don’t spit out brats and I keep my baby gravy contained” report. I would think that they would be busy making plans to visit childless resorts in Bali or talking to thier overly priced therapists about the bad relationships that they had with their parents. I myself, like you DS, don’t give one hoot or holler if people decide that kids aren’t for them. Its not something that people should be judged on (no matter how fun it is to judge), its just a personal choice. I GET IT!. If they don’t want kids, then they DEFINITELY should NOT have kids. I feel the same way with pets, plasma TVs, vegans, and “those” Raiders fans. If you choose not to participate in these things, then guess what, that choice is yours and since we live in this blessed country, you can make all of those decisions all by your self. Good for you, you can make a decision.
    Getting back on topic, if these Childfree DBs (only the ones that aren’t giving you love DS) can’t clearly see the love that you have for your children and your wife (whom is lovely btw), then they clearly have not read more than that one post. So let them judge your book by its “For Sale” sign. Just don’t punish the rest of us by discontinuing your humorous posts. If we don’t hear about all the funny, annoying, disgusting, crazy, and terrible things that our kids, significant others, pets, and friends do, then we would be a very quiet and boring group.

  37. Posted October 16, 2009 at 6:47 pm | Permalink

    Thank you for putting the kibosh on the idiots of the world. I didn’t know such a faction existed, but anymore it doesn’t surprise me. The world has gone crazy and how anyone can hate children is beyond me. I guess I never understand it when any select group of people is targeted as “the people we love to hate.” I love your blog (have a link to it on my site,) I love reading about your family, and I absolutely love your sense of humor. Your wife is beautiful, your kids are adorable and you ain’t so bad yourself! 🙂 Keep up the good work and don’t let them bring you down.
    .-= Randi´s last blog ..How the Other Half Lives =-.

  38. Cindy
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 7:25 pm | Permalink

    I hope you got my email this morning. Not only did these hateful people go after Daddyscratches, they went after my blog (which I am leaving off this post) and left me hateful comments (which had nothing to do with my kids) all because i “commented” here about supporting someones opinion. They crossed the line and it’s enough. I agree with you, don’t give them anymore spotlight on the topic, that’s what they want from you.

    Now get back to those funny, hilarious parenting stories so the rest of us parents who are overwhelmed dont feel alone. :o)

  39. Posted October 16, 2009 at 7:29 pm | Permalink

    What Gullible said ^^ up there in comment #2. AND what Cat’s Meow said in comment #14 — thank God those people AREN’T having kids. They’d probably end up letting them fly away in a giant Jiffy Pop shaped balloon and…wait, what? It was a hoax? Okay, never mind that.

    Also, being compared with Dave Barry? Not too shabby, being on par with a Pulitzer Prize winner!
    .-= Jan´s last blog ..new little brother =-.

  40. Deke
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 8:57 pm | Permalink

    You freakin rock.

  41. Irene
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    Your blog always brightens my day (well, at least when you post a new entry…haha..). Don’t stop writing. I love it. 🙂

  42. Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:27 pm | Permalink

    You kick ass, Jon!!!
    .-= Calamity Anne´s last blog ..This Ol’ Gal Needs a Break… =-.

  43. Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:28 pm | Permalink

    Well huhlo there. I’m just actually commenting to let you know that they’re definetly (okay, most probably) 30 year old virgins in a state of crisis. Even if I hated kids, (which I don’t, I kind of love them. Except not when I think about having them myself, different story), I think wanting to “kill you” is a bit, uh, how do you put it? Physcopathic?

    Not worth the time. Secondly I’m thinking they wouldn’t have the balls, litteraly or metaphorically, to say shit like that to anybodys face.
    What empty lives they must lead.
    I hope it satisfies them. lol

  44. Posted October 16, 2009 at 9:32 pm | Permalink

    Well said keep up the great blog.
    .-= Mark´s last blog ..Political Correct Halloween Decoration =-.

  45. elei
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 10:56 pm | Permalink

    Ha!!!! First time I’ve been to this site. I LOVE IT!!!! What’ freaks are out there!

  46. Kelli
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    Love the site. We keep going to the same concerts. You and I. As far as the childfree population is concerned… Welcome to Dooceville my friend. You have just had your own little Troll-stock! 🙂

  47. Posted October 17, 2009 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    I hope that their lunatic rantings don’t make you think twice about your style or what you share with us. MOST of us appreciate your humor, and yes…your adorable children and their antics.

  48. Louise
    Posted October 17, 2009 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    LOLOLOLOL!!!! BallJuice. I love it! Love the blog. Keep it up. -Moo

  49. kath
    Posted October 17, 2009 at 5:46 pm | Permalink

    All I can say about these childless/free, whatevers is….

    Too bad YOUR parents didn’t feel that way.

    Hmph.

  50. JAMIE
    Posted October 17, 2009 at 7:17 pm | Permalink

    Love the blog, love your writing, love your kids. I hope you don’t become discouraged. They really aren’t worth it. You are a great story teller. I can’t tell you how often I’ve laughed out loud reading your stuff. Thank-you!

  51. Posted October 17, 2009 at 10:47 pm | Permalink

    I found you via Tysgirl. http://tysgirl.wordpress.com/ and I just have to say

    I love you.

    I will be back and checking out your archives.

    You ROCK!
    .-= Big Mama´s last blog .. =-.

  52. Posted October 18, 2009 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    As a Moo myself, of a 4 month old, I can readily agree with anything you say about your kids, because there are times I want to throw this baby out the window when I can’t even get a shower in without her wanting me..

    So.. Joke em who can’t take a fuck.

  53. Amy
    Posted October 18, 2009 at 3:32 pm | Permalink

    Don’t take those comments seriously! Anyone who reads your posts regularly knows that it is all in fun. I find your blog entertaining and with parenting story comparisons, sometimes it’s nice to know we’re in the same boat. On the other hand, it’s also nice to think, “WOW, better you than me!” ; ) Anyone who spews such nastiness is showing their immaturity. I think deep down, showing such vehemence toward a choice of parenting or no, portrays people that are in some way jealous of what others have. It’s obvious with a huge number of positive comments, you shouldn’t worry about what you have written. Dump the slime and keep writing!

  54. Posted October 18, 2009 at 7:32 pm | Permalink

    I commented on here after finding and liking this site and those crazies went and posted some very rated “R” words in my comments. Since I only have like 50 readers, I never moderated. Now I have too.

    Some of these child free bloggers have so much hate. It must be all those unfertilized eggs messing with their brains. And don’t whores get paid? Because I am not making any money off of having kids so why drop the names to married folks who work for free?

  55. Posted October 19, 2009 at 10:04 am | Permalink

    Shit storms are the worst kind, eh?
    .-= BOSSY´s last blog ..The Great Bed Experiment. Where Great Equals Not-So-Great. =-.

  56. Janet
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    Lord have mercy. I, like Danielle, #24, also don’t have any kids, mostly coz I married late in life and chose not to. But, I still love the little darlings, having step-kids and grand step-kids whom I love just as if I’d had a role in creating them. What’s cuter than a four year old, I ask you? These people are scary.

  57. Emily
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 11:39 am | Permalink

    lol…that’s all I have to say.

    Mother of 2, soon to be 3 😉

  58. Posted October 19, 2009 at 11:45 am | Permalink

    Huh, more morons, and I feel silly for being surprised at their foolishness. I like your place here, and for the record, I kinda like Dave Barry, too.

    And balljuice? Really? Klassy.
    .-= ashley´s last blog ..Hunter’s Prehistoric Birthday Bash =-.

  59. reen
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 12:30 pm | Permalink

    Eh…Bitterness and hatred just causes cancer, anyway.

    You keep on with your rockin’ self and your beautiful family and your funny stories. Good on you for slamming the lid on the dumpster.

  60. Sonia Swensen
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    Fantastic. I love when people’s idiocy becomes my entertainment – referring to the people who obviously need some balance (or maybe love?) in their lives.

  61. Suzanne
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 1:05 pm | Permalink

    Oh my GAH! I saw your comment on Bossy… and was curious. As a Moo of three…there have been times I wanted to put a “child for sale” ad in the local paper. I don’t know of a parent who hasn’t felt that. I had no idea there were such hate filled people out there and as I write this, I realize how stupid that sounds. There are hate-filled folks on any subject. I guess they hate themselves and need to spew.
    Oh welll I’m glad that there are those of us with kids and those of us without. Makes things interesting. Sorry you had to step in a big ol pile of interesting though.

  62. Posted October 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

    I won’t take up much of your time – in fact I’m too busy reading your posts to be typing to you…they’re great. I found you by starting at Ordinary Days, moving to I am Bossy where you commented, and now here I sit.

    However, all that navigation aside, I had to share with you what freaked me out the most upon discovering your blog. While checking out what were supposed to be your Ugly kids (which they are NOT btw, and balljuice is a term that should never be muttered by any human), I saw a picture of my dear friend who I’ve known long before blogging, Fairly Odd Mother, in your album of Boston BlogHer.

    Small freaking blogosphere, isn’t it?? Keep up the bloggin’ and I’ll keep on readin’
    .-= Christine´s last blog ..It’s mine until Assisted Living =-.

  63. Melissa
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 4:23 pm | Permalink

    I looked over at that site, and at the previous comments. And that Deegee dude makes me laugh. He mentions in every post he makes almost that he was able to retire at 45. If its true, then good for him, but I guarantee he has a small penis since he has to give himself so much affirmation.

    But I think someone got laid off and is now saying they retired.

  64. lisa
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    Oh dear – there really is a war going on isn’t there!

    As a childfree person, there are two things that I consider my greatest frustrations of being childfree. The first is the negative reactions I get from most parents. The second is the swarm of negative vitriolic name calling that many childfree use to “defend” themselves against it. How embarrassing.

    Whatever happened to calm, honest, respectful discussion?

    It’s a problem on both sides. I’m sure the childfree would be less bitter if the parents weren’t so damning in their judgements of us, yet the parents would have far less to judge us on if we didn’t respond so bitterly!

    I guess what it comes down to is this: people in general are pretty stupid and not that great at understanding each other or accepting each other. Some of them have kids and some of them don’t, but they all need to spend a little time *really* thinking about what it is that makes them so unhappy/uncertain of their choices that they need to be so negative about other people’s.

    I’m very happy to be childfree, even though it does cause some social issues and as the years go on, the price I pay for my freedom will only get higher. However, I’ve made my choice and I’m comfortable with it – so I don’t need to use words like “moo” and “baby rabies” and other tasteless terms to describe people who choose to live a different life to mine.

    People say they only use those words to describe a certain “type” of parent, but I have a different word that encompasses judgemental parents and militant childfree all in one word: immature.

    Some people are immature. Sorry you got caught up in it.

  65. lisa
    Posted October 19, 2009 at 11:24 pm | Permalink

    (quick response to it’s leah)

    I can’t speak for other childfree people here but I come to parent’s blogs to catch glimpses of a world I’m not part of. I visit many blogs written by people whose lives are vastly different from mine, and I do it out of curiosity and a desire to understand more about people that I don’t have much in common with. I just find it interesting. 🙂

  66. Tammy
    Posted October 20, 2009 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    I tripped over your site a week ago and I’ve been catching up. For the record, as a 40 something non-breeder, yet step-child raising (where does that put me on the Moo scale I wonder?) card-carrying member of the who-gives-a-fat-rat’s-ass clan of To Have or Not To Have Children (you want ’em, have ’em – just raise them well. You don’t? Groovy!):

    A) The Wonder Twins are adorable, despite The Shrieking and The Whining.

    B) You kick Dave Barry’s ass in the written humor department on a regular basis. And that is coming from a Dave Barry fan! (Take that you troglodyte spawn!)

    C) Balljuice? Seriously? Wow! That one caught me looking!

    Your Grandad had it right. Downside of the Internet is the babbling extremist morons can now rant without stepping into the light of day. The upside? The rest of us get to enjoy the work and inner-workings of great, creative folks like yourself. May they dig many a hole… elsewhere!

  67. AZ Colleen
    Posted October 22, 2009 at 6:05 pm | Permalink

    Religion & procreation – everyone always has the right answer don’t they?

    I for one (childless heathen, or is it genius? Depends on who you ask.) love your blog and wish you and your beautiful family nothing but the best.

    PS – Should you ever start a PS tutorial page on your site, I’ll be your first student.

  68. Jo
    Posted October 23, 2009 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    Excellent post. Keep ’em coming.

  69. Posted October 29, 2009 at 11:15 pm | Permalink

    Last time I was called a “breeder” (by a militant, evangelical lesbian), I responded in kind with “evolutionary dead end.”

    I joined the ranks of parents a bit over a year ago. It’s been terrifying, heart-wrenching, heart-melting, and wonderful, in turns and at the same time. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
    .-= heroditus huxley´s last blog ..Two examples. =-.

  70. Candice
    Posted September 9, 2011 at 2:21 am | Permalink

    You have said it so much better than I ever could.

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