Before the whole Childfree controversy erupted last week, I was unaware of how completely inappropriate it was for my wife and I to have procreated, what awful parents we must be, and what a burden it is upon everyone around us when we take our terrorist-like offspring out in public. Now that I’ve been enlightened, I just want everyone to see all of the precautions we’re taking to avoid causing any further trouble.
Daddy's Briefs
- RT @HowardStern: Cory Booker Nails Marriage Equality In 5 Minutes http://t.co/vbORSEvC via @moveon @corybooker about 2 days ago from Twitter for iPhone
- If the new #VanHalen album kicked any more ass, it'd be wanted for assault. Full-body goosebumps. Dear @EddieVanHalen: Sorry I doubted you. about 2 days ago from web
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme: http://t.co/mkoOo7Du about 4 days ago from web
- Someone just found my site by searching the Internet for "middle aged male." Thanks for the reminder, asshole. about 5 days ago from web
- I love people. Especially when they stay away from me. about 6 days ago from web
- Hey, does anybody know if @Google is changing their privacy policy? about 6 days ago from Twitter for Mac
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Happy Birthday to me … in NYC … Wait, come back. I promise I won’t try to bust out any more rhymes.
- If I had been any closer to the stage at that Van Halen show the other night, I’d be carrying Eddie’s baby
- That blow job I offered 2012? Already paying off.
Recent Comments
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (29)
- Kristin: Been there. Paid extra for the flavoring, only to have children immediately throw up the expensive medicine...
- Nicole: Brilliant! No other words.
- Wombat Central: After having spent roughly 2 hours to dispense 2 teaspoons of that shit to my son last year, I salute...
- Dorice: Oh Baby Tinks & Poops. A classic indeed.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.” (40)
- Barbara: “having a dog is like having a baby … except the baby never advances beyond age two” Truer words...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (29)
Greatest Hits
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
24 Comments
hahahahah you crack me up!
You know, of course, the idiot fringe will call you on this!
They have no sense of humor on these matters.
I’d like to see you get back to the regular, delightful context we know and love.
Enough of these hateful dimwits!
Where did you get those straight jackets?? My boyfriend has a kid that could do with one…
Thanks for your wonderful blog! One day you will have to tell us all how you told your kids about this – um – ‘exchange of opinions’ – and got them to sit for this picture. Are you having the picture printed and hung on the wall with the other family pictures?
.-= Ine´s last blog ..Romania and its dogs =-.
That is great. I didn’t notice the chastity belts right away, but that was a classy touch.
.-= Joe´s last blog ..12 Pack of Ramen Noodles =-.
LOLOLOLOL! Love It!
Ps. I would like to order a straight jacket now, please.
Oh,boy. You’ve been having fun gathering up those Hallowe’en costumes, haven’t you. NOW the real fun starts–State Children’s Services will be around soon. Love the chastity belts.
http://gullible-gulliblestravels.blogspot.com/
.-= Gullible´s last blog ..The Russian Journals, Part Twelve, the Kizhi Island Museum =-.
OMG, laughed ’till the cat ran off scared! Use that for your Christmas Cards!
.-= Will´s last blog .."Pregnancy Stupids"; Not Just For The Pregnant, Or Pregnancies! =-.
OMG, that is HYSTERICAL.
.-= toadmama´s last blog ..Sharing Our Cabin with Friends =-.
That picture made my day!!!
.-= Calamity Anne´s last blog ..This Ol’ Gal Needs a Break… =-.
–>Hilarious! I didn’t notice the belts at first and wondered if WW was on to a new style for a second before it all clicked. Thanks for the chuckle.
.-= WebSavyMom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday (Part 35) – Not All Ladybugs Are Ladies =-.
Holy crack me up til I pee my drawers! That is one hilarious photo.
That should be your holiday card.
.-= Restless Mama´s last blog ..My smile factor =-.
I had to explain the whole backstory to my husband before showing him the photo. We were laughing so hard and then when I asked him if he noticed the chastity belts, the raucous laughter began anew! Whatever trouble you had to go through to get the props was well worth it, in my opinion. I think they just didn’t know who they were messing with, did they?
.-= Randi´s last blog ..Sunday Serenity 10-18-09 =-.
lmao I LOVE this photo! This is AWESOME! I say perfect for a wall hanging photo & christmas cards! lol I’m half tempted to get a photo kinda like this & use that lol
OMG, rofl. I sure do hope tomorrow’s post isn’t about all the new hits you just got from the bondage faction. They might be even more strange.
oh my god, that is too funny… I love your humor!
So funny! You crack me UP!!
As a parent of three (I’m damned to a special place in hell, apparently), I appreciate that you are teaching your children to have a” sense of the ridiculous”, as my grandbreeder used to say. Your critics (and I’m definitely not one of them), obviously don’t.
And I love what you’ve done with your duct tape!
Great job! I love it.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..I Want it That Way =-.
LOLLYLOLlolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you can tell the kids are smiling under that duct tape – cuties! Thanks for making my day with this photo.
TOO FUNNY – I love this picture
LOL LOL LOL!
Still laughing. Love it.
I, for one, can not believe how cute your kids are with duct taped mouths. I have always wondered about the use on my own 3 kids (yep, I’m a moo X 3).
Great picture, great sense of humor, glad you stood your ground.
You’re terrible!!!
Leave it to WW to make a chastity belt look HOT, right? lol
I was trying to explain the back story to my husband, but it took me a while to stop laughing. I would like to add my support for the suggestion of using this as your Xmas card photo this year!
My kids are a bit big now. I may need help getting them to stand still while I put those accessories on them!
.-= Momcat´s last blog ..Expecting the unexpected. =-.