Before the whole Childfree controversy erupted last week, I was unaware of how completely inappropriate it was for my wife and I to have procreated, what awful parents we must be, and what a burden it is upon everyone around us when we take our terrorist-like offspring out in public. Now that I’ve been enlightened, I just want everyone to see all of the precautions we’re taking to avoid causing any further trouble.
Daddy's Briefs
- At fucking last ... http://t.co/TWf9vNdD about 5 days ago from web
- Daddy Scratches Fragrance Tip™: If 10 secs after you walk into neighboring cubicle I'm overpowered by your perfume, you're wearing too much. about 5 days ago from web
- You Know You're Old When: The shit you think is *so* 5 minutes ago is shit young people have never even heard of. about 1 week ago from web
- If I could have foreseen getting hit in the nuts as hard as I just did with a lacrosse ball, I wouldn't have bothered getting a vasectomy. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
- I love when the babysitter's car is nicer than mine. Doesn't at all make me question my life path. about 2 weeks ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
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Recent Posts
- This be my bad chariot
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time.
- I wish these kids would demonstrate a little self-confidence and individuality
- This photo makes me ache for another tropical vacation … but I’ll settle for a really stiff margarita.
- It will be best for my daughter’s future boyfriend if someone hides this picture from me, because if I should happen to see it on the night that he comes to fetch her for their first date, I will pummel his teenage ass to smithereens
Recent Comments
- This be my bad chariot (15)
- the muskrat: Congrats to y’all, then! Ours has 107k, and I worry about having to get a new one in the coming...
- Carole: Here’s what my dad always says about the bells & whistles: “Just one more fucking thing to...
- Smokey: Kudos to Civic’s with over 200k on it. Been there done that.
- Sarah T: I have a 96 toyota camry with 170,000 or so miles. It runs great(fingers crossed), but looks like shit....
- heidi: Looks pretty cool to me. Maybe not as cool as a left-handed albino sasquatch riding a one-eyed unicorn, but,...
- This be my bad chariot (15)
Greatest Hits
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector
24 Comments
hahahahah you crack me up!
You know, of course, the idiot fringe will call you on this!
They have no sense of humor on these matters.
I’d like to see you get back to the regular, delightful context we know and love.
Enough of these hateful dimwits!
Where did you get those straight jackets?? My boyfriend has a kid that could do with one…
Thanks for your wonderful blog! One day you will have to tell us all how you told your kids about this – um – ‘exchange of opinions’ – and got them to sit for this picture. Are you having the picture printed and hung on the wall with the other family pictures?
.-= Ine´s last blog ..Romania and its dogs =-.
That is great. I didn’t notice the chastity belts right away, but that was a classy touch.
.-= Joe´s last blog ..12 Pack of Ramen Noodles =-.
LOLOLOLOL! Love It!
Ps. I would like to order a straight jacket now, please.
Oh,boy. You’ve been having fun gathering up those Hallowe’en costumes, haven’t you. NOW the real fun starts–State Children’s Services will be around soon. Love the chastity belts.
http://gullible-gulliblestravels.blogspot.com/
.-= Gullible´s last blog ..The Russian Journals, Part Twelve, the Kizhi Island Museum =-.
OMG, laughed ’till the cat ran off scared! Use that for your Christmas Cards!
.-= Will´s last blog .."Pregnancy Stupids"; Not Just For The Pregnant, Or Pregnancies! =-.
OMG, that is HYSTERICAL.
.-= toadmama´s last blog ..Sharing Our Cabin with Friends =-.
That picture made my day!!!
.-= Calamity Anne´s last blog ..This Ol’ Gal Needs a Break… =-.
–>Hilarious! I didn’t notice the belts at first and wondered if WW was on to a new style for a second before it all clicked. Thanks for the chuckle.
.-= WebSavyMom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday (Part 35) – Not All Ladybugs Are Ladies =-.
Holy crack me up til I pee my drawers! That is one hilarious photo.
That should be your holiday card.
.-= Restless Mama´s last blog ..My smile factor =-.
I had to explain the whole backstory to my husband before showing him the photo. We were laughing so hard and then when I asked him if he noticed the chastity belts, the raucous laughter began anew! Whatever trouble you had to go through to get the props was well worth it, in my opinion. I think they just didn’t know who they were messing with, did they?
.-= Randi´s last blog ..Sunday Serenity 10-18-09 =-.
lmao I LOVE this photo! This is AWESOME! I say perfect for a wall hanging photo & christmas cards! lol I’m half tempted to get a photo kinda like this & use that lol
OMG, rofl. I sure do hope tomorrow’s post isn’t about all the new hits you just got from the bondage faction. They might be even more strange.
oh my god, that is too funny… I love your humor!
So funny! You crack me UP!!
As a parent of three (I’m damned to a special place in hell, apparently), I appreciate that you are teaching your children to have a” sense of the ridiculous”, as my grandbreeder used to say. Your critics (and I’m definitely not one of them), obviously don’t.
And I love what you’ve done with your duct tape!
Great job! I love it.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..I Want it That Way =-.
LOLLYLOLlolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you can tell the kids are smiling under that duct tape – cuties! Thanks for making my day with this photo.
TOO FUNNY – I love this picture
LOL LOL LOL!
Still laughing. Love it.
I, for one, can not believe how cute your kids are with duct taped mouths. I have always wondered about the use on my own 3 kids (yep, I’m a moo X 3).
Great picture, great sense of humor, glad you stood your ground.
You’re terrible!!!
Leave it to WW to make a chastity belt look HOT, right? lol
I was trying to explain the back story to my husband, but it took me a while to stop laughing. I would like to add my support for the suggestion of using this as your Xmas card photo this year!
My kids are a bit big now. I may need help getting them to stand still while I put those accessories on them!
.-= Momcat´s last blog ..Expecting the unexpected. =-.