This glorified doorstop with plastic wheels? Oh, it only took me about 900 hours to construct. Don’t worry, I’m going to write about it in excruciating detail … so you have that to look forward to. (Listen, don’t roll your fucking eyes at me; you know you love it when I take what should be a two-sentence story and use 1,800 words to tell it.)
Daddy's Briefs
- You Know You're Old When: The shit you think is *so* 5 minutes ago is shit young people have never even heard of. about 2 days ago from web
- If I could have foreseen getting hit in the nuts as hard as I just did with a lacrosse ball, I wouldn't have bothered getting a vasectomy. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
- I love when the babysitter's car is nicer than mine. Doesn't at all make me question my life path. about 1 week ago from Twitter for iPhone
More ways to love me
-
Recent Posts
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time.
- I wish these kids would demonstrate a little self-confidence and individuality
- This photo makes me ache for another tropical vacation … but I’ll settle for a really stiff margarita.
- It will be best for my daughter’s future boyfriend if someone hides this picture from me, because if I should happen to see it on the night that he comes to fetch her for their first date, I will pummel his teenage ass to smithereens
- Mark Cuban is totally fucking wrong … unless he’s not, in which case: My bad.
Recent Comments
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time. (16)
- Smokeynall: Wow, if I had a dollar for every car dealership I went to and couldn’t get a used car financed...
- Jan: Oh lordy, I know the pain. A couple of years ago, my Mazda went belly-up about 80,000 miles short the 200,000...
- Jackie: I think the picture is really cool and am glad you showed it. Not sure what to tell ya on the van issue other...
- Susan Says...: I see that previous commenters have offered a variety of solutions. There are none other than writing...
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery rhyme. (40)
- Carrie B.: Kinda late now, but the pharmacy at Target will flavor your kid’s medicine for free. Not just...
- This post is pointless, goes nowhere and contains a completely unrelated photograph. Allow me to apologize in advance for wasting your time. (16)
Greatest Hits
- A note to my children from The Elf on the Shelf
- Just take the fucking medicine! A nursery Rhyme
- Mother Nature is a heartless wench who will turn your own children against you
- The time I almost became a highly paid insurance mascot.
- The time I built a car … I mean, a high-tech doorstop.
- The time I committed the most embarrassing social gaffe in the history of embarrassing social gaffes.
- The time I couldn't free my daughter from a bath seat in which she had become trapped.
- The time I did my best to completely sabotage a dream vacation.
- The time I finally used my passport.
- The time I got a vasectomy.
- The time I hung out with Van Halen.
- The time I nearly burned down my house.
- The time I partied with all the cool mommybloggers and saved The Bloggess's life … sort of.
- The time I thought my son was going to get his ass kicked by a girl.
- The time I was forced to deal with an incontinent doll.
- Why, yes, children, of course we can get a dog … and by “yes” I mean “fuck no.”
- Zombie Dinner Party … with your chef, Dr. Hannibal Lector
19 Comments
Hey, I’m grown up. That was my post office box number until I downsized from jumbo box to teeny-tiny.
This kind of makes me laugh. My own dad actually spent a good amount of time making a pinewood derby with my brother. He was all excited when he realized that, if you make the front of it “skinnier” and longer… then you get like an inch head start because it can roll forward before the fatter cars. Or something like that. Don’t quote me. Good luck in the races!
Pinewood Derby flashback.
69? Seriously? Can’t wait to read this one.
.-= Melanie AKA The Coupon Goddess´s last blog ..Reader Appreciation Giveaway =-.
Nanananananananananananana… BATMAN!
Can’t wait to hear the epic tale.
.-= Erin of Brownie Bites´s last blog ..We Looove New York, Part 5! =-.
69, *chortles*. This should be good.
.-= Kara´s last blog ..GIVEAWAY TIME! =-.
I love the Batman logo on the black paint. Very sleek looking!
Good luck in the races!
.-= Just Me´s last blog ..Poor Knucklehead =-.
For serious? My daughter made one when she was 8 it only took her a couple of hours. She is a gifted child.
Snort.
My kids have always taken 1st or 2nd at those things but that is because they take after their father (Physics/cello major).
I would probably show up with one wheel missing and the body would be rusted out.
.-= Loralee´s last blog ..Far Away Face Girl =-.
What??? That’s it?? Jeez….I’da gone with the 1800 word version….
.-= Braja´s last blog ..It looks like this… =-.
My brother took 1st place and grand prize every year. My dad was an engineer. Cheating? You be the judge.
Is that really a big thing in the USA? Pinewood derby races? I never heard of it. Is it a boy scout thing?
Can’t wait!!! Love your style!
OH, yeah, my son has done the Pinewood Derby the last two years. Won 1st and 2nd place and his Dad is an Engineer, I wouldn’t call it cheating, just helpful tips.
Also, if you are in Indiana, take a trip to the Indiana State Museum where they set up the longest track in the world. It’s really cool!
.-= Jen Tullis´s last blog ..Mary Pop-poppins =-.
Good Luck Zan!!
By the way, LOVE the number!!! LMAO
.-= Kari Anne´s last blog ..Manic Monday… =-.
We are blissfully not in the school or cub scout project phase. I don’t like this handy-man glimpse into the future.
.-= Nicole Feliciano´s last blog ..Vintage Children’s Furnishings =-.
Hope to see you at the 3rd Annual Indiana State Museum Pinewood Derby, where we have the world’s fastest track…and probably the tallest and longest, as well! There is a giant screen showing cars’ converted speeds, up to 240 mph, and scouts from all over the midwest come to compete!
Saturday afternoon is when we host true finals; Thursday – Sunday are “fun runs”. Cars must be officially weighed and registered between 9 and 1 p.m. Saturday.
See you at the races!
Remember that line from Bill & Ted’s? I didn’t know it was bad until I repeated to my mother… “Guess what my favorite number is, dude?”
.-= The Football Wife´s last blog ..The FW Explains It All… =-.
Nice ride, Batman.
.-= Cheri´s last blog ..Baked ziti =-.