The one where I justify spending a ton of money we don’t have, because it’s all in the name of LOVE, people

Oh, the stress. The stress, I tell you. It’s very stressful, the stress, it is.

And I regret to inform you that the biggest source of my stress right now stems from a subject that currently is embargoed, so I can not yet speak of it here, but suffice to say that the stressor in question? It’s particularly stressful … stressfully so, in fact. And when the embargo is lifted, there very well may be an absolutely riveting (to me, anyway) saga unfolding in these here pages. But, alas, that will have to wait for now.

Meanwhile, there’s the rest of the stress … the stress of pulling myself out of what I’m pretty sure was a lengthy bout of midlife-crisis-induced depression (which I believe has finally abated … not the midlife-crisis part, but the depression, anyway), and the stress of my ever-precarious employment situation, and the stress of juggling multiple side jobs, and the stress of barely keeping this blog alive, and the stress of coaching my son’s baseball team again (not my area of expertise), and the stress of also coaching my son and daughter through, you know, life, and the stress of maintaining a marriage that primarily revolves around the two little people in this house rather than the two big people.

And that last one? That last one needs to be addressed, because the relationship Wonder Woman and I have with each other is the reason why I’m willing to endure most of those other stressors … and when that relationship gets lost in the shuffle, and isn’t properly nurtured, I start wondering why the hell I’m putting up with all of this other bullshit.

Which is why, despite possessing a mountain of debt that rivals the deficits of several small African nations, and with the prospect of further financial hardship on the horizon, Wonder Woman and I are going to Mexico next week. So there.

“Should we cancel the trip?” That’s the question we were asking each other last week while discussing that of which I can not yet speak. And neither of us wanted to answer “Yes,” because this vacation has been long planned as a way for us to celebrate our most recent anniversary and our 40th birthdays (mine happened in January; Wonder Woman’s is later this month). Also, we regret canceling our trip to Paris 10 years ago. But also? We need this trip right now.

“You know what?” I said. “We shouldn’t cancel our vacation. Yes, it’s a lot of money, and yes, we’re biting off something really huge right now that would probably be better served by us not going on vacation at this particular time … but this vacation? This vacation is an investment in our marriage.”

Yes, I actually said, “an investment in our marriage.” How smooth is that, right? And it sounded so spectacularly convincing to both of us that, a week from this Friday, we will be kicking it at Secrets Maroma Beach Riviera Cancun on the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico:

And if you could find some way to convert into electricity the degree to which I am looking forward to this trip, you could power all of Manhattan from now until March of 2015 … because, during these past few months, when I felt like a man at sea who had fallen overboard and was bobbing amidst the waves atop some very deep, dark, frigid waters, the life-saving apparatus to which I clung was not a buoyant white ring with a rope tied to it, but rather the confirmation email that our travel agent sent to us for our Mexican vacation.

Internet, you can bet your sweet ass we’re not canceling it.

And how did we select this particular destination, you ask? (Just pretend you asked, OK? Play along, fer crissakes.) Well, it’s actually a bit of a social-media success story.

A few months ago, while searching around online for potential vacation destinations, I tweeted the following:

(And, yes, I know proper grammar would have been “include on your website pictures of families with young kids,” but, at the time I typed that tweet, I was delirious from the visions of the child-free tropical paradise after which I sought.)

A few minutes later, I added:

You know, just my typical laugh-a-minute, side-splitting stuff, right? And since I usually feel like I’m tweeting to a wall, so to speak, I was pleasantly surprised to receive the following @reply from @secretsresorts:

Wow. Now that’s a marketing person who knows how to use social media effectively, am I right? Of course I’m right … as evidenced by the fact that, before receiving the above-shown tweet, I had no idea this place existed, and now, specifically because of the above-shown tweet, my wife and I will soon spend four nights there.

Did I mention that I can’t wait?

P.S.: While at the Mom 2.0 Summit, I told some of the ladies about my impending vacation plans, and, to a person, every one of them blushed and did a sort of “Beavis & Butthead” laugh when I said, “We’re going to an adults-only resort called Secrets,” because they all thought that “adults-only” + “Secrets” = “nude swingers.” Let me assure you, as I did them, that this is not the case … as far as I know, anyway. Yes, there will be plenty of nudity, but I’m planning for it to take place behind closed doors with no one other than my lovely wife.

I promise a full report upon our return — minus the “behind closed doors” part, of course.

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28 Comments

  1. Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:37 pm | Permalink

    Boy would that be an exciting post if it did turn out to be an “adult” resort! Can’t wait to hear all about it. Please drink several margaritas for me.
    .-= Dcan´s last blog ..You Capture – Comfort =-.

  2. Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:38 pm | Permalink

    Lolz, a couples retreat to “Secrets”. That is good shit, DS. May you and your beautiful wife have the best “secret” couples vacation evar! You deserve it!
    .-= Kara´s last blog ..Blast from the past =-.

  3. Posted April 12, 2010 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

    You are so right to make this investment right now. Putting it off would just be dumb. This form a person who has also agonized about a trip that I am really excited about, just scared to spend the money. We deserve it!

    Besides, they have tequila in Mexico!
    .-= ToadMama´s last blog ..Biking the C&O Canal =-.

  4. Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:31 pm | Permalink

    –>I hope you have a great time and don’t come home with a “souvenir” that doesn’t arrive til nine months from now. Ah Hem.
    .-= WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..Flashback Friday (Part 53) – Father and Son =-.

  5. Posted April 12, 2010 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

    Clearly, you missed the one about the vasectomy I got a few years ago. 😉

  6. Posted April 12, 2010 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

    What Happens in Mexico stays in mexico!! Aint that how the saying goes…
    Glad to know the Vesectomy won’t result in any post holiday surprises!…
    Have a blast of a time and enjoy acting like people without kiddos do!
    We are here for a good time not a long time!

  7. Posted April 12, 2010 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    I will suppress my raging jealous to wish you a wonderful trip (motherfucker!). Okay, I’m not so good at suppressing….

  8. Posted April 12, 2010 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    PS, can I say “motherfucker” in your comments?!

  9. Posted April 12, 2010 at 7:51 pm | Permalink

    I’m soooo jealous! I need a tropical vacation so badly ….and one to an “adult resort” sounds most intriguing. 🙂 You’ll have to tell us some good stories when you guys come back hehehe
    .-= Kernut´s last blog ..4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss =-.

  10. A
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm | Permalink

    If I’m going to pay a butt load of money to travel somewhere tropical for a break from my brood, I’m not about to spend it with others little darlings. Adult only resorts are the BEST!! Sometimes you have to let loose to save your sanity, you can’t always change “woulda, coulda, shoulda”. Sounds like you need this desperately, GO FOR IT and ENJOY!!!

  11. Gullible
    Posted April 12, 2010 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    Oh, my. Lounging by the pool (while recovering from whatever), and NOBODY yelling “MARCO or “POLO!”

  12. Kristen
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 9:21 am | Permalink

    I’m totally with you on the “family-friendly” resorts – I don’t have kids for a reason, yo. Take the little brats to DisneyWorld or Atlantis. So, good for you guys! We were going there last year, until the damn swine flu bullshit hit and shut most of the resort down. Haven’t had time to rebook yet. Cannot wait for your review!!!

  13. Bethany
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 10:53 am | Permalink

    Have fun guys! Not sure if you’ll be exploring the area in a renting car or not… but should you find yourselves being pulled over by the Mexican Police, ask them what the “pay now price” is for your infraction. We got pulled over for “speeding” in our Fred Flintstone mobile last year in route from Tulum to Cancun… $50US sealed the deal and saved us a trip to the sketchy police station, what a bargain!

  14. Posted April 13, 2010 at 11:48 am | Permalink

    GO.

    We’re headed to a couples-only resort in St. Lucia next year. I don’t know how much it costs, I don’t know who is watching the kids but WE’RE INVESTING, TOO. It’ll be year fifteen for us. PARTAY!

  15. Irene
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

    Yippee for you. My husband and I frequently feel the same way–that we’re running a business that is supporting two crazy little girls!
    And remember, no one on their death bed ever wished they’d spent more time working anyhow. It’ll all work out.

  16. Caroline
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

    Have a great trip!

  17. Posted April 13, 2010 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

    Yes, an investment in your marriage is the perfect reason to go. 😀 Have fun! Makes me want to “invest”. We need a vacay.
    .-= Sara´s last blog ..Ahem. *Cough* A Confession =-.

  18. Amanda
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 9:01 pm | Permalink

    OMG You guys are pregnant, right??

  19. Amanda
    Posted April 13, 2010 at 9:02 pm | Permalink

    Whoops, just read #5. Sorry, Daddy. 🙂

  20. Posted April 14, 2010 at 7:50 am | Permalink

    That sounds AWESOME!!! Have a blast!! Can’t wait for the posts to come about the trip!! Minus the “behind closed door” bit…we don’t need to know that… LMAO…

  21. Pam
    Posted April 14, 2010 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    Go, Run, Escape. Leave your cares & kids behind and have fun together. Looking forward to more posts about the resort.

    I hope you are feeling better each day, depression is a MFer. I know, I just came off of Lexapro (after 4 years) it just lost it’s ability to help or something in me changed. I am now trying Cymbalta and Zoloft. Let me tell you, I am in a happier brighter place than I was two months ago. Better living thru chemicals is okay with me.

    Really enjoy your blog!

  22. Posted April 14, 2010 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    Cancun! Ahhh, so beautiful. You and wonder woman deserver a great vacation. Please bring a lot of pictures back, not from “behind closed doors”, of course.

    Alba H. Rodriguez

  23. Posted April 14, 2010 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

    Good for you, recognizing the importance of the trip and sticking to it.

    And, for the sake of your later retelling, I have my fingers crossed it’s “that kind” of resort.

  24. Posted April 14, 2010 at 3:16 pm | Permalink

    Please read the US State Department Travelers’ Advisory for Mexico, and be careful.

    The pertinent advisory is: http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_4755.html

    Sorry for adding to the stress but care seems necessary.
    .-= Ranger´s last blog .. =-.

  25. Posted April 14, 2010 at 3:23 pm | Permalink

    We have a private car arranged to and from the resort, and don’t plan to leave the resort during our stay, so I think we’ll be fine.

    Believe me: the threat of violence is much greater if I *DON’T* go on this vacation! But thanks for the tip.

  26. Posted April 15, 2010 at 10:53 am | Permalink

    Good stuff, my friend, good stuff! Way to go for it, and good story tellin, man!
    .-= Megan´s last blog ..Guess who’s back. Back again. Shindy’s back. Tell a friend. =-.

  27. Posted April 15, 2010 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    I admit it. I totally saw the title and started going “Hehehehehehhehehehehehe”

    Houston was such a freaking blast. Ha!

    Have fun. You are doing the right thing by going.
    .-= Loralee´s last blog ..Filming at The Pioneer Woman’s ranch in Oklahoma (where the wind came whistling down my zebra striped pajama pants). =-.

  28. Posted April 19, 2010 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Hi there – I found you through Pioneer Woman and noticed you said you’d never been to Seattle or the Pacific Northwest. If you should venture to those parts from your neck of the woods let me know and I will make sure to give you the best places to see:)

    We love it here. I was born in Seattle area, but now reside in the Portland area, never straying too far from home.

    Now tell me what do I have to do to get my spouse to take me away on a cool vacation such as that!

    Love your blog, I am sure you have a bazillion readers, well, you just got one more. Take care.

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