Wild Child

Wild Child

See this one? This one’s making Wonder Woman and me a bit nutty these days.

I mean, what with the screaming and the grunting and the growling and the “NO!”-ing and the doing everything you ask her not to do and the not doing everything you ask her to do? C’mon, where’s the hidden video camera? This is all just an elaborate prank on two burnt-out parents, right? Haha! OK, good one! Now make her stop before I shove an apple in her mouth and duct tape her to a wall!

Fortunately for her, in between the near-constant hissy fits, she does somewhat offset things by being cute and adorable and funny … like during the moment captured above.

On Tuesdays, it’s my job to drop the kids off at their respective schools, and since Zan’s start time is 8:15, and Jayna’s start time is 9:00, Daddy has 45 minutes to kill with The Girl Who Eats Like A Flea. And I discovered some months ago that 45 minutes is just enough time to take Flea Girl out to breakfast at a local eatery, where she not only makes funny faces into the camera, but also eats most of an enormous pancake, bacon and some of my wheat toast.

And since I usually can’t get her to eat anything at home on Tuesday mornings, and because I subsequently worry that she’s going to have the Hungry Horrors at school and tell her teachers that Mommy and Daddy don’t feed her, I feel justified in dining out with her several times per month because at least I got her to eat something, so don’t you dare judge me, people.

We’ve sort of become regulars at the place, and all the ladies who work there treat Little Miss Thing like she’s the Queen of Sheba … because she’s so cute and adorable and funny.

Clearly, they’ve not been exposed to her alter ego, The Snarling Demon From Hell.

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20 Comments

  1. Posted April 14, 2010 at 7:33 pm | Permalink

    Yeah – donchya just LOVE the way they can fool complete strangers?? Guess what? The older they get – the better they work that ruse…..
    .-= Gigi´s last blog ..You’ll Never Believe It….. =-.

  2. Catherine McP
    Posted April 14, 2010 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    Yep, the older they get, The better they get..ah hell, like the T-shirt my girl had in the early nineties,,Girls rule! Shes just gearing up for it!

  3. Posted April 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm | Permalink

    I keep searching my past for the karma that led to my own wild child. I mean, all my parents had to do was look at me sternly and I scrambled to do right. Heck, I almost once drowned and apologized to my parents for scaring them like that!!

    And I am raising the most stubborn, willful, persistent thing. And I secretly LOVE that she goes after what she wants and isn’t a wuss like her mom. Even though it is killing me. Because you can temper a strong will far more easily than growing a pair. I hope this is of some comfort, because mine’s 5 now and it ain’t getting any better.
    .-= Lee´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.

  4. Posted April 14, 2010 at 10:11 pm | Permalink

    Oh, do I FEEL your pain! Let’s just tell ourselves it’s a phase, alright? …. ALRIGHT?!?

    ;o)
    .-= Ang´s last blog ..Do you speak Chloenese? =-.

  5. Posted April 14, 2010 at 11:26 pm | Permalink

    I have one of those at my house and she has more shoes than Amelda Marcos. Divas can be fun, tho.
    .-= deb´s last blog .. =-.

  6. Posted April 14, 2010 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

    Plus they keep you young
    .-= deb´s last blog .. =-.

  7. Posted April 15, 2010 at 6:58 am | Permalink

    Is it sad I lost train of thought after the word “bacon”?
    .-= Chris Illuminati´s last blog ..Why a baby makes an excellent wingman =-.

  8. Posted April 15, 2010 at 6:59 am | Permalink

    No, it probably just means I did it wrong. Sorry.

  9. Gail K.
    Posted April 15, 2010 at 8:26 am | Permalink

    Oh, you have one of “those children” too??

    Yup, I feel your pain and you have just described my girl’s favorite breakfast on the planet (she regularly tells us she wants to “marry bacon.”)

    Next time I am in MA visiting my mom, I will drop Penguin Girl by for a playdate. I promise to bring a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 for you. Thanks!

  10. Posted April 15, 2010 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

    I share your pain with the flea eater… and parents will judge you, unless they have one of their own.

    Some people think it’s wrong to let your child eat supper while watching tv… I have learned that I can get him to eat more, and things he would never try (like haddock) when he’s just distracted enough. Not every meal is in front of the tv, but some days I feel the need.

    And how wrong is it that I have to bribe my son to take a Flintstone vitamin? I mean really? I used to beg to eat the whole bottle…
    .-= Jeff Brown´s last blog ..Random Email =-.

  11. Posted April 15, 2010 at 3:00 pm | Permalink

    Honestly, I’m more judgmental of people who DON’T take their kids out to eat. How is a parent supposed to burn time without a good, long restaurant visit?
    .-= Kate at And Then I Was a Mom´s last blog ..I’d like to thank the Academy. Of Bad Parenting. =-.

  12. Posted April 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    Hey, she has clear skin, bright eyes, clean clothes and her hair combed…you are doing GREAT.
    Someday, in about ten years you will look back on these days and feel all warm and fuzzy….she will too.
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Wee Pink Flower Fairy Doll =-.

  13. Posted April 16, 2010 at 6:15 am | Permalink

    She growls, too? So it isn’t just my kids…
    .-= The Domestic Goddess´s last blog ..Someday the Planets Will Align =-.

  14. Posted April 16, 2010 at 7:33 am | Permalink

    Oh, wow, the Hungry Horrors!!!! My son is six and gets them all the time. And he also refuses to do anything I ask and does everything he shouldn’t, and I’ve also stretched the rules when it came to getting him to EAT SOMETHING ALREADY!

    I hadn’t thought of the apple and duct tape, but the boy is stronger than the Hulk when he’s having a hissyfit. I don’t think duct tape would hold him.
    .-= Just Me´s last blog ..How Does Your Garden Grow? =-.

  15. Posted April 16, 2010 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    LOL…… I have one that if she doesn’t eat……she gets pissy! I mean PISSY!!! When we go shopping on Saturday’s…I go to shop…I don’t think about stopping to eat…I LOVE TO SHOP AND SPEND MY MONEY…BUT…it’s like the demon comes out in her when she gets hungry…and then…once she gets food…she’s the perfect 9 year old angel that I know and love dearly…
    .-= Kari Anne´s last blog ..…ME… =-.

  16. Marisa
    Posted April 16, 2010 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    “Shove an apple in her mouth and duct tape her to a wall!”!!! Hilarious!!! I have wanted to do that on many occasions with my own!!! Hang in there, at least you have Mexico to look forward to!

  17. Irene
    Posted April 17, 2010 at 7:40 pm | Permalink

    I identified with you long ago, when you described Jayna’s behavior as “The Screaming” and “The Crying”. I am right there with you. First child: princess. Second child: Oh, The Screaming and The Crying

  18. Posted April 18, 2010 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    Uh, no judging from over here. I would give, something, not sure what, but SOMETHING if Cooper would eat a pancake. I would make them every day. He JUST ate a bagel for the first time ever this morning. He is 3. He has yet to make eye contact with a pancake. “Ummmm, NO” he will say when asked if he wants one. Just won’t do it. Wouldn’t be prudent.
    .-= MidLifeMama´s last blog ..Princesses, they are not just for girls anymore… =-.

  19. Heather
    Posted April 19, 2010 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

    My 3 year old son refuses to try anything and the few times I have tricked him into it he gets so infuriated and hysterical, he literally gags himself and tries to throw up. Oy!!!! What kid refuses spaghetti???

  20. Posted April 19, 2010 at 12:33 pm | Permalink

    I’m always looking for reasons to eat out. (I conveniently didn’t bring lunch with me today) Maybe I can take CB out for pizza once a week. Or twice. Or every night! I really like pizza.
    .-= cool dad´s last blog ..What do you want your kid to be when he/she grows up? (I want Cool Baby to be a knight, sort of) =-.

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