Keepin’ it klassy

Keepin’ it klassy

Spotted while I was out grabbing some lunch today.

The thing that astounds me — I mean, even more than the fact that someone would want to drive around with a feaux scrotum hanging from his vehicle — is that the presence of this accessory can’t just be chalked up as an impulse buy. A series of events had to take place, each one a juncture at which this gentlemen could have realized what a fucking ridiculous decision he was making. And yet, not only did he go out, find this thing, pay someone for it, bring it home and unwrap it … but he actually crawled underneath his ride with tools and essentially teabagged himself in order to show the world just how ballsy his truck is.

Of course, it’s probably a big hit with all the chicks. I mean, what woman could possibly resist a man with a fake sack swinging beneath his auto? Am I right, ladies?

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  1. Kelly P
    Posted September 29, 2010 at 10:32 pm | Permalink

    HAHAHA! Teabagged himself! I’ve always thought these faux scrotum were beyond ridiculous – even more so now that I’ve actually visualized the process of installing it. Thanks for that – I needed a good laugh 🙂

  2. Catherine McP
    Posted September 29, 2010 at 10:54 pm | Permalink

    What the hell?? Thats not right. But what also doesnt seem right is 11 street lights on what seems to be a rather small corner! I feel like I’m sweatin’ sitting behind that Suburban..what the hell light do I obey, because I cant see around it!

  3. Posted September 29, 2010 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

    Um… gross.

    For impact I would leave it there, but apparently my comment was too short to post.
    Jessica @ One Shiny Star´s most recent blog post: Ya knowMy Profile

  4. Posted September 29, 2010 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    Oh I have seen these. Seriously men – do you really think that women look at balls and say – oh yeah baby! Gross! Displaying them in public hanging from your truck like it proves something about your own nut sack…. that is down right funny! I think they must sell these in WalMart…..
    Jennifer´s most recent blog post: The Quest for MellencampMy Profile

  5. Posted September 29, 2010 at 11:34 pm | Permalink

    We were on our way to a family event and saw almost exactly the same thing. Except it was a big, jacked-up Ford F-250 SuperDuty with the license plate “GITTRDUN”, and the faux scrotum had a stainless steel finish. Now, I live in Alberta, Canada, where trucks driven by men who need to advertise the smallness of their penises are really not all that uncommon. What made this one memorable, however, was the stuffed beaver keychain attached to the scrotum. Classy.

  6. Posted September 29, 2010 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

    I know it’s wrong, but these always make me laugh. That says something’s wrong with me right? Not REALLY wrong though, right?

  7. Laura
    Posted September 29, 2010 at 11:46 pm | Permalink

    So my husband gets a new chevy truck and the first thing he does is put his balls under his hitch… It isn’t as embarrasing here in Iowa as they are fairly common. I’ve even seen them… restyled… to look like breast…

  8. Nell
    Posted September 29, 2010 at 11:55 pm | Permalink

    I am more disturbed by the streetlights. Looks like a version of hell.

  9. Posted September 30, 2010 at 12:25 am | Permalink

    It’s hot. Really, you don’t have a pair swinging from your ride?? *shakes head*

    Seriously. I’m with you! I don’t get it. But I guess there are a lot of things people do that I just. don’t. get.
    Kelly, The Glass Dragonfly´s most recent blog post: Things Aren’t as Bad as They SeemMy Profile

  10. Posted September 30, 2010 at 5:02 am | Permalink

    ooooooh – now THAT is the kind of man I need! Not. *ick*
    Gigi´s most recent blog post: Sometimes you win-sometimes you lose- but in the end its how you behaveMy Profile

  11. Posted September 30, 2010 at 5:58 am | Permalink

    I’m with you. I’ve seen these often. MD isn’t all that far from WV and we’ve got our share of rednecks here. Plus, we do live part-time in WV, too. 🙂

    Like Desi, I find the stainless steel ones extra ridiculous. Although, if you’re going to have balls dangling for all to see, do you want plastic or STEEL?

    But on a Suburban? I bet there were flames painted on the side, too.
    ToadMama´s most recent blog post: My All-time Favorite Shade PlantMy Profile

  12. tammy
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 6:18 am | Permalink

    @ least they weren’t blue…

  13. Kristine N
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 6:50 am | Permalink

    that is pretty juvenile if you ask me….. Pretty gross in fact. Can’t imagine what you would say to your kid when he asks “Daddy what is that hanging from the truck” – such a dumb ass

  14. Posted September 30, 2010 at 8:36 am | Permalink

    Yeah, seeing these on a truck tells me everything I need to know about the driver, which is that I’m completely uninterested in ever meeting him. Have you ever noticed how often you see the trucknutz on a vehicle that also sports one of those Calvin-peeing-on-something stickers?
    Megan´s most recent blog post: First FireMy Profile

  15. Posted September 30, 2010 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    Oh, I am so getting a set of these for my husband!
    Amy´s most recent blog post: An Ear Piercing Holla to you!My Profile

  16. Shannon
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    I live in SE Missouri so these are not uncommon. But yeah, Kristine N, it’s great fun when your 7 yr old daughter wants to know what that is on the truck in front of you at a stoplight. Yeah, not on my list of fun questions to answer.

  17. Posted September 30, 2010 at 9:29 am | Permalink

    The question is would I be wrong if I bought a pair and then put them on a freinds truck? Would it be funny?
    Ferngoddess´s most recent blog post: I swear it this timeMy Profile

  18. Jessica
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    OMG!! As sick and twisted as I think it is to have a scrotum hanging from your vehicle, I think this is pretty hilarious! Did you bust out laughing when you saw it? But I have to agree with others, I would not be impressed if I was in the car with my 8 year old son and he happened to see it. Did you happen to see who was driving the vehicle?

  19. Allyssa
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    I’m cracking up with these comments…”I live in Missouri, Iowa, Alberta, etc. where these are common”. People, I live in Texas. I’m happy to report that no one I personally know has these…it actually makes me feel special and upper-crust, now that I think about it.

  20. Posted September 30, 2010 at 9:51 am | Permalink

    *snort* *shoots coffee out nose*
    Bwaahahaa! Desi – you kill me. A STUFFED “beaver”. And testicles. Haha.

    Sorry. *still giggling*
    All My Monkeys´s most recent blog post: Daily depositMy Profile

  21. JB
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    Wow. Life is random. I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years now… one of the only ones I check out regularly. Now I come to find out that you not only move to my state, but this intersection is a 2-minute walk from my home.

  22. Posted September 30, 2010 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    Welcome to Pennsyltucky.

    Just wait until you see all of the car memorials.
    The Domestic Goddess´s most recent blog post: New ObsessionMy Profile

  23. Posted September 30, 2010 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    I’m in TN and (surprise!) we have those too. They’re funny… in the catalogue. Actually on a truck, they tell a sad story of some guy who’s never going to understand why he cain’t get no wimmin to go out with him.
    Jan´s most recent blog post: ooooh- shineyMy Profile

  24. Posted September 30, 2010 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    These things drive me nuts.

    And that’s a heck of a lot of traffic lights right there.
    Madiantin´s most recent blog post: Utah- Emily- Running and Strong EmotionMy Profile

  25. Posted September 30, 2010 at 11:04 am | Permalink

    You mean they sell fake plastic scrotums to hang on your truck?

    Damn. And to think all this time I was using the genuine article. No wonder the sheep won’t come near me anymore.
    Tom G.´s most recent blog post: Men’s Room EtiquetteMy Profile

  26. Posted September 30, 2010 at 11:22 am | Permalink

    I also snapped a photo of a pair of balls hanging from a [yup] truck. Except, mine are blue.

    Most people don’t have blogs; they have the back bumper area of their cars, and I’m always amazed to see what they do with their little ‘message center.’ What kind of message does a pair of blue balls send to the world?
    BuenoBaby´s most recent blog post: Bikini Wars- Kate Gosselin VS Me Alternate title- This is why women HATE themselvesMy Profile

  27. Veronica N
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    I live in Wyoming…those things were all the rage a few years ago…you should see the HUGE, BRIGHT pink ones! They sure are terriffic aren’t they? Can’t imagine a better use of the American dollar.

  28. Posted September 30, 2010 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    So gross. Why they guys think they are funny is beyond me. And maybe why I can’t get dates with these country boys in the south. Cause I look at them like they are idiots when they show me their plastic truck balls. ha.
    watercolor´s most recent blog post: But the tea didnt stick around for longMy Profile

  29. Priscilla
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    I usually lurk, but had to comment on this. I am sad they have made it to the East Coast – I have only ever seen them in Louisiana (shocking, I know) where they appear to be homemade. As in a used pair of pantyhose and tennis balls.

    I am surprised the Massholes have yet to discover them. Then again, I haven’t yet driven through the parking lot of the Big E.

  30. Posted September 30, 2010 at 1:43 pm | Permalink

    Ha! I recently saw a dude with a pair of silver ones hanging off his car. They had a lot of… um… detail. So, I called up my husband, told him I was leaving him, and went and climbed in this guys trucks, because what other choice did I have?
    Gen´s most recent blog post: A Love Like This Lasts til You Break the SealMy Profile

  31. Posted September 30, 2010 at 1:51 pm | Permalink

    Be still my heart. I can only hope he also has silver silhouettes of chesty babes on his mudflaps…
    Wombat Central´s most recent blog post: Random Thoughts for a ThursdayMy Profile

  32. Gail K.
    Posted September 30, 2010 at 7:37 pm | Permalink

    And just think, there’s a big old hole right above the balls – just tells you everything you need to know without saying a word.

  33. Posted September 30, 2010 at 8:51 pm | Permalink

    Nothing says “I have a very small penis” like driving a Ginormous truck… with a scrotum attached.
    Didactic Pirate´s most recent blog post: Sometimes we dont get a lot of homework done in the afternoonsMy Profile

  34. Posted September 30, 2010 at 11:12 pm | Permalink

    Ooh, classy!

    Just guessing…. tea bag, tea party… such winners!
    Brahm (alfred lives here)´s most recent blog post: Mae West on the gaysMy Profile

  35. Posted September 30, 2010 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

    I’ve had to deal with the “what’s that hanging from the back of that truck” from my 8 and 9 year old daughters. I’d really, honestly love to hear from someone who has them hanging from their truck and see what twisted conversation went on in their head that brought them to the point that they thought it would be a good thing to hang a reproduction (in their mind anyway) of their “stuff” from the back of their vehicle.

  36. Posted October 1, 2010 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    LMFAO…we have those all around here in Texas!!! BIG BLUE ONES!!!
    Kari Anne´s most recent blog post: TUESDAYMy Profile

  37. Jackie Hall
    Posted October 1, 2010 at 10:56 am | Permalink

    ROFL you have NO idea how many of these I see a day living in the great state of TEXAS! This cracked me up. I can’t wait to get all my friends to read this. haha

  38. Cindy
    Posted October 1, 2010 at 12:47 pm | Permalink

    Dude – seriously? 11 Signal lights??? What is wrong with this picture? Either the drivers in your area are stupid or they are afraid everyones color blind?

    Teabagged himself! Freakin Funny!

  39. Posted October 1, 2010 at 12:47 pm | Permalink

    The vehicle alone screams “I’m insecure and drive a motorized penis”.
    Meg at the Members Lounge´s most recent blog post: More Postcards from the Wine CountryMy Profile

  40. Lunch
    Posted October 1, 2010 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    Dude. I drove that route, and through that intersection, for 14 years and never really noticed how many friggin’ lights there were. And where the heck did you get lunch? There’s nothing behind you but a miles-long stretch of nuthin’…

  41. Posted October 1, 2010 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    Unfortunately, they are kind of popular where I’m at. What’s more? My father wants some for his small truck. As an aside, making them an unnatural color doesn’t detract from their utter hideousness, in case you were thinking that maybe they would look more attractive in green or maybe purple…
    Jennifer F.´s most recent blog post: Happy Fall now go make this!My Profile

  42. Rebecca
    Posted October 1, 2010 at 4:38 pm | Permalink

    Oh right like I’d keep going to a dentist, gynochological dr, optomistrist, brain surgeon or someone important if they had that parked in the Reserved for Dr. Sack N Balls parking spot…

  43. LDC
    Posted October 1, 2010 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    I can’t begin to tell you how much I hate them balls.
    My friend had them on his truck, I begged him to take them off for months but no dice. Later I had to drive this massive 4×4 to work for a few days. Ugh!
    I told everyone if you cut them off I will pay you 5 dollars. They were gone later that day but no one confessed. I was so glad they were gone. Needless to say he has not replaced them thank god!!!!!!

  44. Tricia
    Posted October 2, 2010 at 9:28 pm | Permalink

    They’re called TRUCK NUTS. How classy is the ass-end of a car supposed to be, exactly?

  45. Mama Mimi
    Posted October 2, 2010 at 10:46 pm | Permalink

    I saw the same thing 2 weeks ago pulling out of my street here in TN. AND-they had Barney bouncing right along side it-geez

  46. Posted October 3, 2010 at 1:02 am | Permalink

    I’m not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that men actually want some tiny fake nuts (I mean come on, compared to the size of the car those nuts are teeny tiny – what does that say about the man?) hanging from his car or that someone with that low of an intellect is allowed to drive a car…never mind allowed to drive one through what is possibly the most confusing set of traffic lights I’ve ever seen. Honestly, they need that many lights? Or do these replace street lighting…for the entire town?

  47. Sandy
    Posted October 3, 2010 at 3:17 pm | Permalink

    Wonder where these things are made? Can you imagine what some worker in China says when someone asks him (better: HER!) what she does for a living?

  48. Sandy
    Posted October 3, 2010 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    There are more traffic lights at that intersection than there are in my county. I’m so glad I don’t live in Phillly any more …

  49. Posted October 5, 2010 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    OMG – I drive thru this intersection all the time – it’s not a standard fourway – that’s why there are so many of traffic lights.

    But I digress – I migrated here from SoFla, and those trucknuts were everywhere…I think they floated into my consciousness about five years ago. I totally agree that if you need to advertise these on the back your truck, then you obviously don’t have anything to, ahem, show for it up in the driver’s seat.
    Sandra Dee´s most recent blog post: wherein Im no longer going to be shunnedMy Profile

  50. Paula B.
    Posted October 7, 2010 at 5:00 pm | Permalink

    Oh man, you are deep in Pennsyltucky. Usually I lurk on your website, but since this is close to where I used to live, I just had to comment. They do seem to be pretty popular with the Philly crowd, but every time I see a blue set, I just wonder, WHAT IS HE TRYING TO TELL US??

  51. Posted October 8, 2010 at 11:07 pm | Permalink

    I see those alot out here in hickville. The shiny chrome ones are especially lovely. I am so looking forward to the day when I have to explain what they are to my little one.
    ABCfibi´s most recent blog post: Family &amp PrejudicesMy Profile

  52. Sarah
    Posted October 16, 2010 at 8:25 am | Permalink

    Welcome to Pennsylvania. Born and raised. The only thing missing was the pissing cartoon sticker on the back window. I can’t confirm there was no gun rack present somewhere inside the truck.

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