Wherein I compare my life to a hayride

Wherein I compare my life to a hayride

The thing about not posting a blog entry for an unreasonably long time is that, when you finally do make time to write something, you feel like it has to be fucking epic in order to somehow make up for your extended absence, thereby giving your adoring fans a reason why they should still care about your lame, non-writing, too-busy-dancing-for-the-man-40-hours-per-week ass.

Well, by that logic, prepare to stop caring, because this ain’t epic.

See, right now, 2010 is a tractor, and it is pulling me down a bumpy trail with lots of twists and turns, and every time I try to get comfortable, I find myself slipping in hay and getting tossed around and sucking in diesel fumes, all the while feeling like I have no control whatsoever over the selection of my destination, nor the route by which I’ll get there.

So I’m just holding on and grinning and bearing it and hoping and praying that, at some point in the not-too-distant future, the ride will come to an end, and I’ll stand up and brush off the shards of hay sticking to my ass, and exit the flatbed that life has thrown me on this year, and get behind the wheel of my own little sporty contraption, and roll down the windows, and crank some kick-ass music, and drive to a place of my own choosing via a road paved with lots and lots of happy happy joy joy.

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23 Comments

  1. Posted October 27, 2010 at 2:40 am | Permalink

    This post makes me very glad Los Angeles doesn’t have hay rides, because even without the metaphor, that sounds awful.
    Heatherface´s most recent blog post: Nail art tutorial Water marbling on natural nails.My Profile

  2. Posted October 27, 2010 at 5:22 am | Permalink

    Yeah, it definitely kind of sucks when you feel like you aren’t in charge of your destination.
    Gigi´s most recent blog post: Boys are worthless when it comes to picking out a shoeMy Profile

  3. Posted October 27, 2010 at 7:02 am | Permalink

    Jon, I think lots of happy, happy, joy, joy is coming your way. Just keep hanging on. We all have really sucky rough patches. Granted yours is a big one, but it WILL get better.
    ToadMama´s most recent blog post: Gimme A PinchMy Profile

  4. Posted October 27, 2010 at 8:19 am | Permalink

    You and me both, dude.
    RuthWells´s most recent blog post: For the RecordMy Profile

  5. cathy
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 8:41 am | Permalink

    Wow , I hope things get better for you and your family soon. I miss reading your posts all the time! Hang in there!

  6. Alex
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    A quote that comes to mind:
    Life sucks, get a f***ing helmet.

    (Not meant to be crass, but more understanding and empathetic)

    I thought your drunk-sailor-speaking self might appreciate this one. We’re all pulling for you and your family.

  7. Deborah
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    haha – Linvilla – what a hoot that place is.

  8. Posted October 27, 2010 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    The tractor will eventually run out of gas and slow down. Promise. I live on a farm, I know my shit. Literally.
    Teisha´s most recent blog post: CraftaliciousMy Profile

  9. Lunch
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    Yeah, but how ’bout that lemonade? I know I don’t have to explain to you about life, lemons and lemonade but you know that day you had the best damn lemonade you ever tasted. Live it.

  10. Veronica N
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 12:10 pm | Permalink

    Yay, Lunch! My sentiments exactly. Even when life seems to suck…there are plenty of happy, happy, joy, joy things to keep you moving…funny enough, they all usually end up being the same things that you think are bringing you down and making it rough. Need I mention wife, kids, job, house, family, memories…?
    GO JON!

  11. Posted October 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    When life brings you lemons, it better also bring sugar and water or that lemonade is gunna suck. Sometimes, the ride just goes on and on and on and it doesn’t get better, it just gets different. At least there’s hay to cushion the bounces.
    watercolor´s most recent blog post: I winMy Profile

  12. Posted October 27, 2010 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    Ditto what the above said. Get a helmet, drink some adult lemonade, drive fast thru Linvilla cranking out some kick ass tunes. We are all here cheering you on, awaiting your every post.

    Kick some Ass DS!
    Pam
    aka Feast

  13. Posted October 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    It is funny how, after missing a few posts, one feels compelled to make the next one reallyreally worthwhile. And whenever I try to do that, I’m pretty much guaranteed failure. But the thing I keep reminding myself is, it’s the cumulative posting that turns folks on (or off), and the individual ones don’t matter so much.

    And hang in there. Sometimes things suck. Until they no longer suck. Or, to quote George Carlin as the hippie-dippie weather man: “Tonight’s forecast: Dark. Continued dark throughout most of the evening, with some widely scattered light towards morning.” Scattered light will eventually come.
    pvz´s most recent blog post: definitions: gentiful / gothMy Profile

  14. Posted October 27, 2010 at 2:38 pm | Permalink

    My first thought was “Holy cow, have you been living my life this year?” Because This year has SUCKED. I’m totally buried in the crap that’s been thrown at me. Drowning in it. If one can drown in crap. Maybe in diarrhea?

    Well. That’s a lovely image.

    And then I read Lunch’s and Veronica N’s comments and I thought, “Huh. Well. How about that.” and started to think about all the good things that have happened this year. Truthfully, the icky things have outweighed the good…but there have at least been SOME good things. To start with I never puked when I was pregnant. So that’s good. Unfortunately the baby died, so that’s kinda sucky. But STILL. Lemons. Lemonade. Food for thought. If lemonade can be food…
    Madiantin´s most recent blog post: We found a map to Candy Mountain CharlieMy Profile

  15. Posted October 27, 2010 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

    In keeping with the hayride, tractor, agricultural, whatever theme…A friend once gave me this advice: “See shit and step over it.” Sometimes it’s the only thing left to do.

    Good luck on your flatbed. You should get a pair of balls to hang off the back.
    BuenoBaby´s most recent blog post: 4 AM thoughtsMy Profile

  16. TheAbidingDude...
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    Dude…hang in there, it only gets better!

    That is the think about life, it is crazily awesoe fun, but scary as all get out at the same time. Just kick back and enjoy what you can because it can ALWAYS be worse.

    Fuck am I in an enlightening mood today…Quick! Someone shit in my Cheerios

  17. Irene
    Posted October 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    Think peaceful thoughts. Life is constantly changing and just when you think you can’t stand it anymore, it changes. Or something weird comes up. Like this morning, I was fine. Tonight I’ve hurt my foot and can’t walk. So I’m just sitting and getting nothing done and watching my kids play. Never fear, things change. And we’ll always love your blog no matter what. :)

  18. Sandy
    Posted October 29, 2010 at 3:43 pm | Permalink

    A favorite saying: “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” Friends of mine had a similar 2010: he had a heart attack, she had breast cancer. Makes me smack my face when I’m feeling glum and count my blessings!

  19. Linda
    Posted October 30, 2010 at 6:43 pm | Permalink

    Your fan’s love reading your bog..
    and we all understand your going through a bumpy ride.
    Peace be with you.
    Linda Seattle, WA

  20. Posted November 2, 2010 at 2:21 am | Permalink

    It really has been your annus horribilis.
    Amanda´s most recent blog post: Roadtrip- Weekend in BruggeMy Profile

  21. Posted November 10, 2010 at 8:40 pm | Permalink

    If nothing else, I really admire how you refused to include any mention of likely manure. That shows strength.

  22. Cindy Lou who
    Posted November 15, 2010 at 12:44 am | Permalink

    great analogy. I too feel like that sometimes

  23. Paula B.
    Posted November 17, 2010 at 12:33 pm | Permalink

    Linvilla rocks. Nuff said.
    Former Media, PA now Seattle-ish resident…

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