arrow26 Comments
  1. Katrina
    Dec 20 - 11:27 am

    That Elf is one creepy bastard that I refuse to let in my house for fear he’ll get me at night.

    • Kristin
      Dec 21 - 11:39 am

      I’m with Katrina. He is beyond scary.

  2. Allison
    Dec 20 - 11:54 am

    Seriously – what is WITH the whining this time of year? I suppose it’s better than the stomach flu.
    Allison´s most recent blog post: My Twelve Days of ChristmasMy Profile

  3. Sandy H
    Dec 20 - 12:02 pm

    Dude. Can I use this letter for my OWN kids? It seems like the week before christmas is the WORST. I also decided to pottytrain my son this week, so I kinda put myself in the position from hell, but if my daughter rolls her eyes at me ONE more time, or if either one of them ….. grrr. It’s been never ending fighting. And the one hasn’t even STARTED her christmas break yet.
    I’m gonna go ahead and throw myself from a moving vehicle now. It won’t be as painful, and imagine the peace and quiet I’ll get from the hospital room. yeah.

  4. Melissa
    Dec 20 - 12:13 pm

    Awesome. ’bout time someone said what we all know those little elves are thinking! Crossing my fingers the rest of this week goes smoother for you- or that at least you have enough beers to make it through. Thanks for making me giggle everytime I read your blog! Merry Christmas!

  5. All My Monkeys
    Dec 20 - 12:24 pm

    Sooooo… your son isn’t 8 or about 8, is he?
    All My Monkeys´s most recent blog post: Nothing importantMy Profile

    • caroline
      Dec 20 - 2:41 pm

      Seriously. I have a just about 8 year old boy and an almost 5 year old girl and this letter could be written for them. Word for word.

      But we do not have the creepy elf in our house, so house, so I just threaten them with no Santa. “Santa is probably VERY disappointed in you. I wouldn’t give you anything if I were him.”

  6. Penny
    Dec 20 - 12:42 pm

    And that is precisely why no Elf shall EVER reside in my house.
    Creepy bastard.
    Penny´s most recent blog post: T1Parents, Read this at Bennet’s YDMVMy Profile

  7. Allyssa
    Dec 20 - 12:50 pm

    Wow. I thought it was just my house. We’re not doing the elf thing (too much pressure!), but I finally pulled the Santa card this morning…twice in the space of about 30 min. I don’t know what alien has taken over my sweet child’s mind, but I hope it goes back where it came from soon. Insanity!

  8. Meg at the Members Lounge
    Dec 20 - 1:42 pm

    I loved the touch of holiday ale! Good bokeh too!
    Meg at the Members Lounge´s most recent blog post: All Santa Wants Is For Me To Be Fit.My Profile

  9. Lola
    Dec 20 - 2:11 pm

    Yes…kids are terrible this time of year. You would think the elf would help.
    At least th elf has good taste in beer. 🙂

  10. kacy
    Dec 20 - 2:31 pm

    Funniest thing by far I have ever seen “Elfie” as he is called in our house do, or say!! Love it!! I feel exactly the same way.

  11. Tammy
    Dec 20 - 8:18 pm

    Absolutely freaking love this. My kis are now 19 & 17 so I’m not here anymore, but I soooo remember these days.

  12. Nicole
    Dec 20 - 8:30 pm

    Is Dusty willing to share some of that porter? Cheers to that, elf-man.

  13. Wendy
    Dec 20 - 8:51 pm

    One of my coworkers says that one year, when she and her brother got up Christmas morning, there were no gifts for them under the tree. Just stuff for mom and dad. “Boy, Santa must be very disappointed in you two,” they were told. Eventually it was discovered that Santa had “accidentally” left their presents in another room. She remembers is as being about 3 hours later, but suspects it was probably less than 30 seconds. In retrospect, she now realizes how hilarious and satisfying her parents must have found this.

  14. Jenny, Bloggess
    Dec 21 - 12:11 pm

    The elf has a point.

  15. Kristen
    Dec 22 - 10:18 am

    Dying laughing. I totally want to have a drink with that elf. He has a lot to say. I don’t have kids, but my husband and I have a nephew and niece. We just get to watch all of this unfold from the sidelines.

  16. Lisa
    Dec 23 - 8:23 pm

    Sounds like it’s been a bad day.

    I didn’t have to put up with that, only had one child. Unless you count all his Dad’s whining. (No wonder we’re not married any more;)

    At least Dusty has good taste in beer!

  17. Catherine
    Jan 01 - 5:13 pm

    Freakin’ hysterical! I hope you enjoyed your christmas and gophers to a happy, healthy 2012!

  18. Catherine
    Jan 01 - 5:15 pm

    Okay…so I think Apple likes to mess with you on spellcheck. I do not wish that you enjoyed your gophers. It should have been “here’s to”. Happy new year!

  19. Andrea
    Jan 20 - 1:21 pm

    OMG…I am dying over here laughing. I’m at work and I can’t get it together… Shhhhh. Funny stuff!

  20. Holly from 300 Pound
    Apr 18 - 10:41 am

    hahahahahahaha….hilarious. HILARIOUS. Oh please rerun this next year during elf on the shelf season. This is awesome!
    Holly from 300 Pound´s most recent blog post: Being willing to failMy Profile

  21. SHUG IN BOOTS {Beth}
    Jan 23 - 1:47 pm

    I don’t have kids. But, I feel the same as Dusty with some kids I know. I used to teach … man the letters I could have written. Again, hilarious post. Glad I found your blog!

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  23. Cractpot
    Jan 29 - 2:50 pm

    When I suggested to my husband that we buy one of these, he nearly choked and then I remembered the time when my middle child woke up crying because the tooth fairy didn’t come and I told her it was her fault for putting the tooth too far under her pillow…who did she think the tooth fairy was? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Spent the rest of the day crying convinced I was the worst parent ever while my husband googled child abandonment stories on the internet to comfort me, “See you’re not as bad as this mother. She left her child in the car when she went to gamble” Ummmmm….yay?
    Cractpot´s most recent blog post: Tea to GoMy Profile

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