I’m back … and I’m ready to handle it up!

While recently looking at my blog’s incoming-traffic data, I discovered that someone had arrived here through a translation link … which, when clicked on, led me to the page you see above.

Ever since then, I’ve been wearing a mariachi costume, downing tequila shots and spontaneously shouting “¡Arriba!” at all hours of the day and night. So, you know, same as always. The big difference, however, is that I now am insisting that everyone refer to me as Papà Arañazos. Por favor.


In other news: I got sick of blogging. Not only maintaining my own, but reading everyone else’s. I mean, all of these blogs (mine included) started feeling to me like a once-great television series that had gone on for too long. The first four seasons of “Breaking Bad”? Phenomenal. Season 5? Well, it’s still entertaining … and I certainly don’t blame the writers and producers and actors for continuing with the show. If given the chance, I most definitely would do the same. But Season 4 was a perfect story comprised of perfectly executed conflicts that led to a perfect and wholly satisfying climax. Whereas these so-called Mommy blogs and Daddy blogs? (Again: Mine included.) They just go on and on and on and on … generally without the benefit of attention-grabbing storylines and totally-worth-the-wait climaxes.

All of which eventually caused me to contract such an acute case of “Who gives a shit?”-itis that I took an indefinite blogging hiatus and decided to instead try my hand at fiction writing. And after several months of trying to create something out of nothing, I discovered a couple of things:

  1. Making up a compelling and coherent story is difficult.
  2. Discontinuing my blog didn’t result in me having more time to work on my fiction writing; it resulted in me not doing any writing.

So when last week I realized that I missed blogging, I figured I’d dip my toe back in the pool … if for no other reason than to at least do some sort of writing.

Also, I must confess that the following comment recently left on my blog made me realize just how important my writing is to some people:

What I don’t realize is in reality how you are not really much more smartly-appreciated than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize therefore considerably in terms of this matter, produced me personally imagine it from so many various angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be fascinated until it is one thing to do with Woman Gaga! Your personal stuffs nice.

All the time handle it up!

Handle it up indeed, my friend. You’re damn right I will. All the time.

(NOTE: For some reason, the plugin that guards my blog flagged the above comment as “Spam” … which, clearly, was a mistake. I mean, just because the author included a link to a completely unrelated online store doesn’t mean he or she isn’t sincere — and, might I add, overwhelmingly correct — about me being “so intelligent” and having nice “personal stuffs.” And say what you will, but there is definitely no arguing the fact that it truly is a mystery how in reality I am not really much more smartly appreciated than I might be right now. Yer damn skippy I’m not. Even Woman Gaga would agree.)

In conclusion: I have no idea what the future holds for me, my blog, or my writing in general. I might try to be funny. I might just focus on documenting life so that my kids can one day read about their childhood. I might even get all nutty and offer up some social and political commentary that will piss off and alienate a whole bunch of you. Whatever the case, I’ve realized that any kind of writing is better for me than no writing.

We’ll see what happens.

In the meantime: Handle it up, motherfuckers.

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  1. Danielle
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    I tried to leave a succinct comment, but yer damn blog platform thought it was too short. So here it is again:


    • Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm | Permalink

      Thanks for being persistent. Sorry my blog platform was being an asshole.

  2. Julie
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    Glad you’re making a comeback. You were missed.
    Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  3. Sadie
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 6:57 pm | Permalink

    You have been missed – I’ve missed your warped sense of humor and hysterical view of the world. Looking forward to catching up with the Scratches family antics! Welcome back!!!

  4. Kristen
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 6:58 pm | Permalink

    I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK!! Sorry for the yelling & all, but I am really excited. I’ll read ANYTHING you write. Funny or not, family oriented or political… You have an amazeballs way with words. And I should know, because I’ve read every post on this blog. Your writing inspires me and I smartly appreciate you! Merrry Christmas Scratches Family…

  5. Posted December 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

    Well, there ya go….HANDLE IT UP already!! Your “stuffs” have been missed!
    Gigi´s most recent blog post: Long Distance Father/Son Bonding…and other crapMy Profile

  6. Posted December 14, 2012 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

    Can I steal this post and publish it on my blog because it pretty much sums up the way I’ve been feeling, Papa Aranazos?
    BuenoBaby´s most recent blog post: A South Florida Christmas: As Wrong As A Denim DressMy Profile

  7. Posted December 14, 2012 at 8:43 pm | Permalink

    I can relate to this post on so many levels, except that I didn’t stop writing on mine to try my hand at fiction – I already knew that could be a bust – but instead on art. It seems my mind is rather incapable of creating any kind of visual awesomeness within 24 hours of me writing a blog post.

    Go figure.

    Glad you’re back!
    Brandina´s most recent blog post: The Moment Is Now!My Profile

  8. Katrina
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 8:49 pm | Permalink

    I’m so damn happy I’m just wandering around my house touching random items and smiling. Glad you’re back.

  9. Christine
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 9:00 pm | Permalink

    don’t stop writing…I so enjoy the “trials and tribulations” that is your life. You are not alone…and I love reading, but more importantly, the photos of your kids…and stuff.

  10. Posted December 14, 2012 at 9:29 pm | Permalink

    what every one else said……
    Rilly´s most recent blog post: It\’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas……My Profile

  11. Val from Cape Town
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 3:32 am | Permalink

    Welcome back!! So nice to see you again. 🙂

  12. Posted December 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    I’m going to be really transparent here and admit that I did not understand that comment and thought it was from a non native English speaker. I feel unsophisticated now.

    Also, I have had the same sentiment for most of this year but have gone ahead and posted sporadically anyway. However, I have a hard time enjoying it very much.
    father muskrat´s most recent blog post: conclusion: i probably shouldn’t go awolMy Profile

  13. robin
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    so glad to see you back. I like your stuffs too.

  14. Sunny
    Posted December 16, 2012 at 9:57 pm | Permalink

    I don’t have a clue what that person was trying to say. But I’m glad it sent you back here. It’s about damn time.

  15. Posted December 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm | Permalink

    Glad you’re back.
    Coincidentally, that EXACT same reader recently commented on my blog too. In addition to “very much liking the insightful writings you are endeavoring in”, he had a great link to a site that sells discount Viagra. I can totally forward it to you if you want.

  16. Posted December 17, 2012 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    What? You were gone? I hadn’t hardly noticed. Actually, of course I did. The words that you string together make me sometimes chuckle. I like to chuckle. Glad you have returned.
    Smokeynall´s most recent blog post: TOPLESS HOCKEY!!!My Profile

  17. Jill
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 10:42 pm | Permalink

    Ditto above. I actually didn’t realize how much I missed you until I read this. Thanks for handling it up! Whatever the hell that means… I expect you to keep translating mundane boring shit into humorous stuff to read. Thanks. Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas. Have you killed the Elf yet?

  18. Ashley
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    It had been so long since you posted anything, which included your twitter feed that I honestly thought you had died, or had that nervous breakdown your website promises. I’m glad it was neither, and that you’re back to posting.

  19. Carole
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

    Merry Christmas to us!

    Glad you’re back. All the time handle it up!

  20. Posted December 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

    Gotta love the translation stuff. My dad was fluent in French so, one time, just goofing around, I sent him a quick email, “translated” into French. It was pretty much the same as what you shared. The best part of was that it translated “Dear Dad” into “Cher Papa”, which was fine, but when I had it translate it back to English, that became “Expensive Father”.

    Best of all I’ve encountered so far, though, has to be the instructions that came with a GPS holder I bought on eBay a couple of years ago. Read them at a post called “Imbibe the shock wave instantaneously!” http://wp.me/p13Hyz-vA.
    Jan´s most recent blog post: litmus testMy Profile

  21. heidig
    Posted December 18, 2012 at 7:30 pm | Permalink

    Finally…..I’ve been stalking your blog for ages looking for any morsel of writing I could find. It’s about time you got back to it. I, for one, enjoy anything on this blog. Welcome back and Merry Christmas!

  22. Posted December 19, 2012 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    I’m glad you are back also. I stumbled on your blog a while back because of your funny comment on another blog. I’ve had my fling(s) as a would be novelist, but for now I think I’m more comfortable as an “essayist”. At least I WRITE instead of just sharpening my keyboard.

  23. Posted December 26, 2012 at 7:30 pm | Permalink

    Awesome! I found you during your hiatus and read every word. I’m excited you’re back!

  24. Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:21 pm | Permalink

    Got the dreaded mommy I’m bored today…Almost gave me a nervous breakdown. Love your approach hope you keep it up and get back into it.