Douchebag of the Year: National Rifle Association Executive Vice President and CEO / gun lobbyist Wayne Lapierre

If this guy …

Mr. Burns is Wayne Lapierre's father.

fucked this guy …

Voldemort is Wayne Lapierre's mother

and they made a baby, that baby would grow up to be this guy:

National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne Lapierre, Douchebag of the Year 2012

Yesterday, one week to the day after a madman walked into an elementary school with a military-style assault rifle that he used to fire into the bodies of 20 children and six adults a torrent of .223-caliber bullets fed to his weapon by a high-capacity magazine that allowed him to cause an unimaginable amount of death and carnage before ever needing to reload, National Rifle Association Executive Vice President and CEO Wayne Lapierre — the man who more than any other has made it possible for mass murderers to arm themselves with military-style assault rifles and high-capacity magazines — went on national television and blamed the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre on everyone … and everything … EXCEPT HIMSELF, GUNS AND THE GUN INDUSTRY THAT LINES HIS POCKETS.

The last time I saw balls that big, they were rolling down a tunnel behind Indiana Jones.

I would go on and further outline for you Mr. Lapierre’s unrivaled douchebaggery, but my new man crush, Lawrence O’Donnell, already did a positively stellar job of that during last night’s episode of his MSNBC program, “The Last Word.” You can see Mr. Lapierre get completely pwned in this video:

(If you have time, watch the whole thing. If you don't, scroll ahead to the 7-minute mark and watch the subsequent two-and-a-half minutes of epic pwnage.)

And that is why you, Mr. Lapierre, are this year’s DOUCHEBAG … OF … THE YEAR!!!!

Congratulations! You can pick up your trophy at the front desk … IN HELL*.

*No, I don’t actually believe in Hell or a vengeful, omnipotent God … but I like to pretend that both exist when I encounter scumbags like Wayne Lapierre.

PS: That gun-control petition I mentioned in my previous post? The President has responded:

P.P.S.: How fucking awesome is it that the President and his administration have created a website that allows us to have a direct avenue of communication with the White House? (Answer: Very.)

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