Well, look on the bright side: At least we … um … you know … uhhh … there’s always … hmmm … OK, I’ve got nothin’. We’re fucked.


You know that pivotal scene in “The Matrix” when a hairless Neo wakes up in a gel-filled pod and realizes that, up until that moment, he had absolutely no idea just how awful was the world around him, and just how misguided was he about the truth of his own existence? Yeah, that’s me, right now … minus the “hairless” part. (You’re welcome for that visual.)

I apologize in advance if none of the words I am about to type make a shred of sense, but I am deliriously sleep-deprived and deeply rattled by the recent discovery that I now exist in an alternate universe where an angry mob of millions just handed the nuclear codes to an abhorrent, vile, vulgar, uninformed, ill-tempered, bad-humored, intellectually challenged, racist, sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, greedy, selfish, thin-skinned, petulant, pathetic little bully man-child because “Fuck you, you liberal-elites and all your reasonable, logical, tolerant, fact-based book-learnin’!”

We just witnessed a massive road-rage fit channeled into the ballot box. Progress and tolerance innocently sped in front of the Archie Bunkers of the electorate, and they responded by running us off the road, taking a crowbar out of their trunk and smashing our windshield … without any fucking concept of the price that they themselves (and the people they love) will now have to pay for their shortsighted, poorly thought-out temper tantrum.

Listen, I admit it: I completely, thoroughly, 100% underestimated Trump’s chances. In no way, shape or form did I think he stood a snowball’s chance in hell of winning the presidency … so much so that I sent to bed on election night my 11-year-old daughter (who struggles with anxiety and had taken to saying “I’m afraid” when considering the possibility of a President Trump) with a virtual GUARANTEE that he had absolutely NO CHANCE of winning.

I am the guy who not only never, ever, ever counts a chicken before it hatches, but who also forbids anyone in my presence from trying to convince me that the egg I’m holding — the one with the beak sticking out of it, making peeping sounds, and clocking in at [proper body temperature of poultry] degrees — is sure to bear a chicken … and yet I strode about the house Tuesday night in full confidence that the Blue Team would beat the Red Team. So, yes, I am shocked by the outcome.

But more than shocked, what I truly am is saddened by the outcome. Disheartened. And, at the risk of sounding way too fucking impressed with myself, I have realized that my sadness is not so much about Trump becoming the president, but about how his (non-majority, electoral-college-based) victory will be interpreted by the most unsavory of those who voted for him, and how that interpretation will result in very bad things for very many people for a very long time.

Let’s face facts: I am a 46-year-old white male who lives in an affluent Philadelphia suburb whose residents are 98% white and whose median income is roughly $130,000 per year. If I completely insulated myself from the news media for the next four years, my life, on a strictly personal, day-to-day basis, will not, in all probability, look significantly different under a President Trump. So why am I so deeply, profoundly upset about this election? Because the man who won it did so by playing to the worst parts of human nature. He did so by stoking the fires of sexism and racism and intolerance. He pitched a product based in no small part on fear and hatred. And, sadly, enough people bought it.

I feel confident in saying that more racists, more bigots, more sexists, more homophobes, more misogynists, more xenophobes and, in general, more profoundly misguided and stunningly ill-informed ignoramuses voted for Trump than for Clinton. And while many of those people’s own vile, hateful, backward-assed agendas aren’t necessarily anything that Donald Trump would truly champion or endorse (maybe … who knows?), those misguided, ill-informed, racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted ignoramuses will interpret his victory as the country’s stamp of approval on their vile, hateful, backward-assed agendas … and it will embolden those people to crank up the volume and openly spew their hateful, hurtful views through what they believe is a bullhorn of legitimacy.

Don’t believe me? Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not.

See this despicable, mouth-breathing fuckhead with the pro-Hitler book on the shelf behind him?


He was on NPR today expressing his delight over Trump’s victory, proudly spewing his racist views, and claiming that Trump’s election should be seen as a clear mandate for the U.S. to purge itself of minorities and become a “white, Christian” country. You can click here to listen for yourself. It’s absolutely fucking heinous … and instead of seeing himself as a put-upon fringe lunatic to whom most people won’t listen, he now believes he and his racist views are a politically legitimized truth upon which America must now act.

There are Facebook posts popping up left and right demonstrating the uptick in blatant, unabashed racism:


I also saw plenty of equally disturbing descriptions of incidents experienced by women who were subjected to sexual assaults in the name of Donald Trump … but, you know, I can only download and post so much of this shit before it starts to make me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry, so … enough already. (But, hey, if you need more, you can find a whole website full of similar such things here: WhyWeAreAfraid.com.)

Now, do I believe that everyone who voted for Trump is a sexist, racist, bigoted, homophobic, hate-mongering, intolerant rube? Absolutely not. In fact, in a disturbing admission of just how close to home this touches for me, here is my own father’s post-election Facebook status:


My father is a retired, blue-collar, high-school educated, former union member, Vietnam-era Navy veteran, one generation removed from Syrian/Lebanese immigrants, who over and over again has been duped into voting against his own best interests. Do I think my father voted for Trump with evil intent? No, I do not. I think he is a decent (but horrifically misguided) person. I also think he, like many of those who cast votes for Donald Trump, is simply a frustrated, working-class American who (rightly) believes that the political system in this country is broken and that the politicians in Washington no longer represent him and other average Americans. But I also think that, regardless of his justified discontent, if he truly was concerned about his three granddaughters … and his daughter … and his three nieces … and his wife … and his daughter-in-law … he probably shouldn’t have voted for the “grab-her-by-the-pussy,” overturn-Roe-v.-Wade guy.

Cleaning house is one thing … but burning the house down while you and everyone else are still standing in it is a pretty fucking moronic way to solve the problem … and I believe that all of the decent, understandably frustrated Americans who decided to do so anyway are as equally to blame for the mess they’ve unleashed upon all of us (and themselves) as are the sick, hateful fucks who voted for Trump because they believe he shares their vomit-inducing values. (And why shouldn’t they think that? He gave them every reason to do so.)

Those truly despicable citizens who voted for Trump as a way to legitimize their hate are getting exactly what they wanted … for now. To them, I say, “Enjoy this brief taste of quasi-victory, you cowardly, disgusting little lowlifes … because, in actuality, this is nothing more than an enormous outing ceremony that allows us to identify exactly who and what we’re fighting against. So thank you for that.”

To those who helped the former group by casting a protest vote that I believe many of you will live to regret, I say, “Fuck you very much, you shortsighted douche nozzles.”

The good news is: Trump’s presidency will be an impotent thing, because he did not win the popular vote. We, the majority, are still a progressive, multicolored, multicultural, open-minded, kind, compassionate, inclusive, forward-thinking group that will right the ship during the midterm elections in 2018 and the presidential election in 2020. Until then, let’s all look out for each other.

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  1. Ma
    Posted November 10, 2016 at 8:09 pm | Permalink

    I have never cried after an election/not even at bush, but I did this time. Not for me necessarily, but for others. Today I read trumps 100 day plan. Now I’m in the bring it on mode. I will do something…donate, volunteer, protest and hold his ass accountable. The ACLU and SPLC, along with planned parenthood etc. now is the time more than ever to support the causes we proclaim to endorse. I for one can’t wait to punch him in his teeth with his own vileness.

  2. Jennifer
    Posted November 11, 2016 at 1:28 pm | Permalink

    I woke up on Wednesday in a fog. My 12 year old is worried about the world that he is a part of, and all that I could do was reassure him that inside our four walls, we are safe, and that the president – any president – has to work with others to accomplish things. Our job is to continue to love others and stand up for them.

    May we be galvanized to do do better at the midterm elections and for 2020.

  3. TrayceeBee
    Posted November 11, 2016 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

    I just found your blog through The Blogess….Thank you for putting into words what I have not been able! While my (white) family too will most likely come through the next four years relatively unscathed, my heart is broken nonetheless. We have catapulted ourselves back decades with this president elect! I worry about just how much damage he can do over his term and hope EVERYONE is able to keep the rights they so justly deserve. I am still in absolute shock that somehow this racist sexist bully got elected…..

  4. Shel-Bell
    Posted November 11, 2016 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    Well said DaddyScratches! I, like many others, hoped this douchebag would never make it past the primaries and now live in fear of what this means for America. I am utterly bereft that Hillary lost – not because I think she was a necessarily a better candidate – but at least she seemed to be reasonable and had an iota of compassion toward other human beings. Living here in the Midwest I am constantly surrounded by slack-jawed yokels spouting their hatred and intolerance – it’s disgusting and I, like you, fear this Pandora’s box has just sprung open.
    What have we done America?

  5. GJ
    Posted November 11, 2016 at 8:13 pm | Permalink

    I also read your blog after seeing your comments at the Bloggess. I agree with everything you and the other commenters have stated here. God help us and the world, we will all certainly need it.

  6. Elizabeth
    Posted November 11, 2016 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    Add me to the list of those who cried. I checked the results on my tablet before I got out of bed, and I just sobbed. I am not a die-hard Hillary supporter, but I did vote for her. I couldn’t stomach the thought of Orange Julius getting this far, and all day Wednesday I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach.

    I am terrified for our country. I can’t imagine him on the world stage. He will pss off every ally we ever had, plus a few. I don’t think my personal life will change too much, but as we are thinking in terms of retirement, I hope it doesn’t get derailed too bad.

    I’m trying to find a bright spot somewhere. No luck so far.

  7. Posted November 12, 2016 at 6:25 pm | Permalink

    I just wanted to say BRAVO for writing this.
    Valerie´s most recent blog post: Fall 2016 TV – MehMy Profile

  8. Posted November 13, 2016 at 2:10 am | Permalink

    I also found you through The Bloggess. I’m a Canadian who followed this very long election cycle closely. I have many friends in the US; some are immigrants, some are in the LGBQT community, many are women, some are parents. All – or nearly all – are appalled, angry, sad, disheartened, depressed and anguished (as am I) at the results of the election and the actions of some members of the public since then who seem to feel they now have ‘permission’ to let loose all the hate, bigotry, misogyny and xenophobia that they had hidden. My only hope is that those members of Congress and the Senate who have not supported Trump will not support some of his more outrageous plans. My fear is that if something happens to him and Mike Pence becomes President, things could be worse because Republicans in Congress and the Senate are more likely to agree and endorse his ideas.
    samatwitch´s most recent blog post: National Pet DayMy Profile

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