Author Archives: Daddy Scratches

That trip to Mexico I keep meaning to tell you about, which almost didn’t happen because of my unrivaled ability to be a complete and utter moron

About two hours into our flight from Philadelphia to Cancun, I discovered that I had committed The Biggest Fuck-Up of All Time … like, to the extent that I knew it would be best for my marriage if I just went ahead and threw myself out of the aircraft. Which was a shame, really … because everything had been going so well. The kids were sound asleep at my in-laws’ house when my wife and I slipped out into the chilly, predawn darkness and drove to the airport. Once there, we breezed through check-in and cruised through security without being… [read the rest]

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Posted in Buffoonery, Life, Marriage | 33 Responses

We were young and fit and healthy and childless (and young) and full of energy and disposable time and discretionary income … and mostly took it for granted. *sigh*

Us, circa 1999: Us, circa 2010: Wonder Woman is headed to the hairdresser today, and she asked me for some input about what to do with her locks. I recalled the 1999 photo up top there as being one in which her hair looked particularly lovely, so I dug it out. Wow. And now, I will spend the rest of the day hearing Mick Jagger’s voice in my head singing, “What a drag it is getting oooold.” (So old, in fact, that I’m wondering if you whippersnappers even know who Mick Jagger is.) Actually, I have occasionally gone on Facebook… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Marriage | 33 Responses

Saturday Night Fever

This is where I'm supposed to live

In July of last year, I posted a …… [read the rest]

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Posted in Featured Photo | 8 Responses

This is where I’m supposed to live

This is where I'm supposed to live

This was the view from our lounge chairs alongside the…… [read the rest]

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Posted in Featured Photo | 14 Responses

Dear 2011: I am going to massage your ass with exotic oils while feeding you hand-peeled grapes and telling you how wise and attractive and thin and youthful-looking you are

One year ago today, I told 2010 that I was going to whup its ass … and 2010 responded by putting on a pair of these and using my nuts as a speedbag … so I’m trying a different tack this time around. This past year was, without a doubt, the single most unpleasant, difficult, overwhelming, foundation-shaking, depression-inducing, anxiety-provoking year of my entire life. I know that the calendar is a man-made construct, and that the delineation between December 31, 2010 and January 1, 2011 is merely symbolic … but after the year I just had, I am more than… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 15 Responses