Author Archives: Daddy Scratches

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Yes, that’s right: it’s time for the annual posting of a heavily filtered headshot followed by a few words acknowledging the ever-decreasing distance between myself and death’s door. Actually, I kid. I mean, yes, it’s true, we’re all inching closer to our final curtain call, but, at the dawn of my 47th year on planet earth, I’m not really focusing on that … partly because doing so gives me a fucking anxiety attack, but mostly because things are going rather well these days, and I’ve been finding it easier to focus on the good stuff as of late. I’m happy… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, My Birthday | 6 Responses

“10 Years a Blogger” (which seemed like a catchy title when I first thought of it, but then I realized that’s because it’s reminiscent of “12 Years a Slave” … which I never saw, but I assume it’s about slavery … and, other than the pay, blogging has nothing in common with slavery … the latter of which is neither a funny topic, nor anything to make light of … and I should probably just stop talking now)

3 … 2 … 1 … Happy New Year! What’s that? It’s January 7th? Damn. I guess I fucked that one up. But, hey, anyway: Happy Belated New Year! And also? Happy Birthday to this blog! It’s hard to believe that 10 years have passed since I first launched my blog back on January 1st of 2006. Yes, that’s right: I’ve been blogging for a whole decade … which is either impressive … or sad … or both. Whatever the case, it goes without saying that the Internet is abuzz with the news of this important anniversary. [cricket sounds] OK,… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Writing | 6 Responses

Jury unanimously rules in favor of enraged father who used controversial “Star Wars”-spoiler defense in the beating death of his 12-year-old son’s dickhead classmate

That is a news headline you may well be reading in the not-too-distant future, because I am so pissed off and upset right now that I barely know what else to do with myself. And because I have no rational and/or truly satisfying target at which to aim the massive amount of rage, sadness and disappointment boiling within me, I am going to channel it into this post with the hope that doing so might help me to process the situation and move on. (I don’t believe it will, but I’m going to give it a try anyway, because the… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Parenthood | Tagged | 10 Responses

Star Wars: The Dork Awakens

Everyone kept saying "Nice costume!" WTF? I dress like this every day… A photo posted by Daddy Scratches (@daddyscratches) on Nov 1, 2015 at 5:27am PST My daughter is begging me to not dress like this when we go see “Star Wars” tomorrow morning. I’m not making any promises. (She’s lucky I’m not threatening to go full-on Vader like I did that one time.) UPDATE: Hey, let’s vote on it! Should this Jedi embarrass the hell out of his 10-year-old daughter? You decide. https://t.co/vKhY2Gutwt #StarWars — Daddy Scratches (@DaddyScratches) December 18, 2015 In related news: WE’RE GOING TO SEE STAR… [read the rest]

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Posted in Geek, Life | Tagged | 3 Responses

I was going to be a successful writer but then A.D.D. and Facebook and what the fuck were we just talking about?

I’ve been meaning to write something awesome … but then this porcupine ate a pumpkin: I think we can all agree that that is some critically important shit right there, people … and if not for Facebook, I might have missed it while squandering my time in pursuit of my greatest dreams and ambitions. Fortunately, I have access to Facebook at all hours of the day—on my phone, my computer and my iPad … which, granted, is pretty kick-ass, but still … I’m hoping that Mark Zuckerberg soon will unveil plans to install Facebook directly onto my optic nerve so… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 4 Responses