Author Archives: Daddy Scratches


SCENE: Wonder Woman and I talking to each other while at a recent holiday party. Aaaaaaaand … action! Me: I can’t even tell you how psyched I am that I got that new wireless keyboard and mouse. That other mouse was driving me crazy, and that extended keyboard just took up way too much space. Now I have plenty of room, and that mouse is so much better. I told you that it’s touch-sensitive, right? You just move your finger across it to scroll. It’s awesome. That other one I had, the mouse cursor was just all over the damn… [read the rest]

Pin It
Posted in Marriage | 12 Responses

Finally, the world realizes what a tastemaker I am. (OK, maybe not ‘the world,’ but at least one nice lady marketing a new TV show.)

As you can imagine, a big-time blogger such as myself gets inundated with marketing pitches day in and day out … because, when it comes to setting trends and moving product, there’s no better place to reach the world a few people than right here. OK, so maybe “inundated” is a bit of an overstatement. More like “occasionally sent a form letter that starts with ‘Dear Mr.,’ but then the part after ‘Mr.’ where my name should be is blank, and nothing makes me want to keep reading about your product more than that type of heartfelt correspondence. Unfortunately, however,… [read the rest]

Pin It
Posted in TV | 18 Responses

Yeah, I used to party in the big city like a madman, too … you know, back in the late 1900s

Gather ’round, children, and let your ol’ Grandpappy Scratches tell you about the night he realized he was no longer young and hip and cool (and those of you who are saying, “Yeah, like you ever were??”: Shut the hell up. Jerks.). So last week, I hung out with Bossy and her Blog Posse in Philly, and that was such a hoot (←we old people say things like “such a hoot”) that I wondered if a similar Boston get-together might be possible … and when I floated the idea, The Coupon Goddess, whom I met last summer during my first-ever… [read the rest]

Pin It
Posted in Embarrassing, Life | 18 Responses

Tis the season to be jolly …
and by ‘jolly,’ I mean batshit crazy

Well well well, looky who finally decided to update his blog! Sorry, y’all, but it took me this long to recover from my ca-ray-zay in-sane night out with Bossy and company. Actually, that’s a crock (though it was a whole lotta fun); truth is, I’ve just plain had — and continue to have — way too many plates spinning. Let’s review: Remember the whole iMac nightmare this past summer, and the brain aneurysm it almost caused me, and the external hard drive that descended from the heavens and saved the day? Well, shortly before we departed for our week-long Thanksgiving… [read the rest]

Pin It
Posted in Life | 12 Responses

Good point

Scene: Zan and Jayna watching “The Backyardigans.” Penguin character named Pablo is shown sitting atop the bow of a viking ship. Aaaaaaand … action! Jayna: “What? Zan, how did Plablo get up there?” [Yes, “Plablo.”] Zan: “He climbed.” Jayna: “He’s a penguin. Penguins can’t climb.” Zan: “Penguins can’t talk either, Jayna. It’s make-believe.” Fin… [read the rest]

Pin It
Posted in Quoting Jayna, Quoting Zan | 13 Responses