Author Archives: Daddy Scratches

The Cruel Shoes

See those shoes? If you have young children, you’re probably quite familiar with them. If not: they’re called Crocs … and everyone loves Crocs. Crocs rock. Except, c’mere and I’ll tell you a little secret: I think they suck, and I rue the day my children fell in love with them. I don’t call them Crocs; I call them Trips … because I have watched my children trip and fall in them so many times — particularly Zan, who isn’t the most graceful or coordinated dude in the vicinity to begin with — that one would think I walked around… [read the rest]

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Posted in Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 58 Responses

Marathon Man

A mind’s-eye view of my morning run: 7:30 a.m. – I really should go for a run today. It’s been far too long. 8 a.m. – No, seriously: I should go for a run. 8:30 a.m. – Maybe if I put on my running apparel, it’ll help build some momentum. 8:35 a.m. – Look at that handsome man in the mirror … and look at those guns in that sleeveless shirt. You, my friend, are a powerhouse … and by “powerhouse” I mean “human pipe-cleaner.” Howzabout eating something and maybe lifting a weight? 9 a.m. – Perhaps if I Tweet… [read the rest]

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Posted in Buffoonery, Embarrassing | 25 Responses

Pay no attention to that safer vaccine behind the curtain

So I took the kids to get their flu shots yesterday, and it sucked. The End. Seriously, need I say more? I mean, if you’ve ever had to take your kids to get a flu shot — or any shot, for that matter — you know the deal: shot = sucks. The End. But, of course, that’s not The End, is it? No, certainly not … for I must entertain and astound you, and, with any luck, make you regurgitate your beverage through your nose. So … When Wonder Woman informed me that she had a work commitment Wednesday evening,… [read the rest]

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Posted in Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 31 Responses

The Towers

In August of 1995, Wonder Woman’s parents, who could not believe that the long-haired schmuck their daughter was dating was so much of a rube that he had never in all of his 25 years of living in the Northeast been to New York City, decided to take their daughter and said rube on a whirlwind tour of Manhattan Island. We drove from Philly to Jersey, then took the ferry across the Hudson. The picture shown above, as awful and grainy as it is (I wasn’t into photography back then), is basically the first view I ever had of New… [read the rest]

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Posted in Featured Photo | 11 Responses

9/11

No one I knew or was related to died on that awful day, and I was neither in New York nor Washington D.C. when it happened; like most, I listened to it on the radio and watched it on TV. The people who experienced it firsthand, and the people who lost loved ones, are the people who have truly meaningful stories to tell about Sept. 11, 2001. Still, for eight years, I’ve always felt the need to write about it, both for myself, and for my children, so that, when they’re old enough, and if they care to, they can… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Parenthood | 29 Responses