Author Archives: Daddy Scratches

Get out your violin

You know what would be great? It would be great if someone could help me get the steel-toe-boot-wearing month of September to stop repeatedly kicking me in the balls with all of its might. Anyone? We knew this was going to be a difficult month … a “transitional” month, if you will. Zan started kindergarten (which he still loves, thank god), and Jayna started preschool (which she doesn’t still love, dear god), and both have to spend a few hours per week in daycare. In other words, we have all of the necessary ingredients for a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 14 Responses

Rockport Harbor

Though Wonder Woman and I spend the majority of our day-to-day lives in the semi-generic confines of American Suburbia, we occasionally get out to some of those special places that make us feel fortunate to live in New England. Rockport is one such place. Suck at photography? Go to Rockport Harbor on a sunny day with an empty compact-flash card in your camera and start snapping. You’re guaranteed to get at least one keeper.… [read the rest]

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Posted in Featured Photo | Leave a comment

Example of why I have learned to mostly quit while I’m ahead

Me to Wonder Woman after running outside and catching her before she backs out of the driveway so that I can hand to her the cellphone she left on the kitchen counter—the one that I can never reach her on: “Please keep this on you.” “I do.” “Apparently not.” “Yes, I do. That’s why it was inside.” “Huh?” “I said I do keep it on me; that’s why it was inside.” “Wait: ‘Please keep your cellphone on you,’ ‘I do; that’s why itwasn’t on me’ …?” “Yep.” [pleasant smile] “… wha …?” “I kept it on me when I came… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Marriage | 3 Responses

Episode VII: Battle for the Bed

It seemed like a simple enough thing: because he’s growing so fast, Zan’s fire-engine bed was well on its way to becoming Zan’s mini-barstool, so we needed to get him an actual twin bed. There were some constraints, however—the first of which was that it needed to be physically low enough to fit into the corner of his room, and the second of which was that it needed to be financially low enough to fit into our meager budget. Enter Ikea. Wonder Woman scoured their site and found a bed that satisfied both requirements. However, when we got to the… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Parenthood, Zan | 4 Responses

Have a drink on me

Since life hasn’t been all that exciting in recent days, I shall dip back into my Personal Well of Embarrassment for yet another douche-chill-inducing tale from my past. I hesitate to do so, because I’m afraid I’ll fly too quickly through my reserve of embarrassing tales as I make use of the newly minted “Embarrassing” category, but—wait, who the hell am I kidding? A drought of me-embarrassing-the-hell-out-of-myself moments probably isn’t in the forecast anytime soon. So, with that said, let us travel back in time to the year 1989. I am 19 years old and serving as a U.S. army… [read the rest]

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Posted in Embarrassing | 2 Responses