Author Archives: Daddy Scratches

I propose a toast to you, my readers

So, yesterday morning, I went for a short run (redundant, really, since “short” is the only kind of run I ever seem to go for, if at all), and returned home feeling all fit and spry—and hungry. This last part is always a challenge, because the extent of my culinary abilities is limited to boiling and toasting—or so I thought. Turns out I can remove “toasting” from my résumé. For the “boiling” part, I placed a couple eggs in a pot of water on the stove. For the “toasting” part, I placed a couple slices of wheat bread in the… [read the rest]

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Posted in Buffoonery | 4 Responses

Funniest Washington Post article ever

Big ups to Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank for his piece today titled “In the House, Suddenly Righteous Republicans.” A six-paragraph excerpt follows. Hang in there; there’s a payoff: Thirty-one-year-old Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-N.C.) is not a large man, standing perhaps 5 feet 3 inches tall in thick soles. But he packed a whole lot of chutzpah when he walked into the House TV gallery yesterday to demand that the new Democratic majority give the new Republican minority all the rights that Republicans had denied Democrats for years. “The bill we offer today, the minority bill of rights, is crafted… [read the rest]

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Posted in Politics | 1 Response

A little post-election reflection

SCENE: Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2006, lunchtime, kitchen table. “Daddy, why were you dancing and clapping?” “Well, remember yesterday when you and Jayna went with me and Mommy to vote?” “Yeah.” “Well, the people who we voted for, and the people who we were hoping other people would vote for, got the most votes.” “… [blink] … ” “Because the good guys won and the bad guys lost, pal.” “All right! High-five, Daddy!”… [read the rest]

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Posted in Parenthood, Politics | 1 Response

Destination: Hell. Mode of travel: Handbasket.

It is election day. The future of our country hangs in the balance. The outcome will determine which party holds sway in Congress … and, therefore, the direction the nation will take during the next few years. I subscribe to’s email alerts, which they send out when an important news story breaks. They are surprisingly restrained in their use of these alerts; many days often pass without a single one arriving in my inbox. In fact, they have so far dispatched only one such alert on this momentous day. It reads as follows: Britney Spears files for divorce from… [read the rest]

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Gilford Cabo Wabo, NH

As anyone who has spent more than 60 seconds in my presence can tell you, I have several yarns I like to spin about exciting moments I have had with the members of Van Halen. The man standing between Wonder Woman and me in the photo above is Kevin Dugan, a good friend to whom I owe a great deal of credit for quite a few of those experiences—the latest of which took place last week, and buried the needle deep into the red on the Holy-Shit-That-Was-Coolometer. Kevin is the bass-tech extraordinaire for Mr. Michael Anthony of the once-mighty Van… [read the rest]

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Posted in Music, Van Halen | 2 Responses