Author Archives: Daddy Scratches

Believe it or not, Hallmark passed on this one

Jenny, a.k.a. The Bloggess, recently wrote a post that contained a number of Valentine’s Day-card suggestions. This is not one of them … but she did write this phrase elsewhere within that same post, and I feel it really captures the sentiment of this special occasion: In related news: Fifteen years ago today, I asked Wonder Woman to marry me. Tonight, she’ll mark the occasion by playing Bunco with a group of fellow moms who apparently felt Bunco Night just COULD. NOT. WAIT. (Worth noting: I have no idea what the fuck Bunco is. I’m picturing a card game that… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, Marriage | 5 Responses

Exciting news: I am now the millionaire owner of a Major League Baseball school whose employee roster includes Michael Cudlitz, star of the TNT cop-drama “SouthLAnd.”

I saw a tweet the other day from Michael Cudlitz in which he reminded his followers that the season premiere of “SouthLAnd” airs tonight. And as I read that tweet, it occurred to me that I once participated in a promotional push for the show by posting a blog entry that coincided with the show’s spring-2010 season premiere. And for some reason, I decided to look for that post on Google … which is how I stumbled upon this: Whaaaa…? Well, we’re going to have to click on that, now, aren’t we? Let’s see where it goes. Turns out that,… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, TV | 6 Responses

And then I got into a political argument with Boston Red Sox pitching legend Curt Schilling

Curt Schilling is a baseball god to me. What he did with my beloved Red Sox in 2004 — the bloody sock, Game 6 of the ALCS, the team’s first World Series victory in 86 years (a victory for which Curt was largely responsible) — earned a revered and hallowed place in my heart for Curt Schilling The Pitcher. Curt Schilling The Political Commentator? Not so much. Which brings us to the following tête-à-tête (tweet-a-tweet?). nytimes.com/2013/02/05/us/… Men & women fought and died for this right, gave their lives for this right, and we’re going to complain about a wait? —… [read the rest]

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Posted in Politics, Red Sox | 8 Responses

If you like this, you should probably put a ring on it … and then you should get your head checked by a mental-health professional.

Super Bowl Fun Fact: That outfit Beyoncé had on? I’m wearing the same thing. Tough to walk in these shoes, but my ass looks spectacular. — Daddy Scratches (@DaddyScratches) February 4, 2013 What, you thought I was kidding? Awesome — and real — Beyonce images HERE.… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life, PhotoChops | 7 Responses

Burger King spiked my co-worker’s fries with a mind-altering substance

It all started with a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. We ran out of sliced turkey … and being the financially sensible (read: broke) person that I am, I decided that, rather than eat out, I would bring to work a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. Lunchtime arrived. I was weak. Faint. Famished. I ate the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich. It was, shall we say, less than satisfying. I was fucking starving. To death, even. Death was imminent. My co-worker, meanwhile, opted for Burger King … a place from which I had not eaten a single morsel in more than 10 years. It was 2002 when last I… [read the rest]

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Posted in Cubicle, Life | 11 Responses