Category Archives: Buffoonery

Marathon Man

A mind’s-eye view of my morning run: 7:30 a.m. – I really should go for a run today. It’s been far too long. 8 a.m. – No, seriously: I should go for a run. 8:30 a.m. – Maybe if I put on my running apparel, it’ll help build some momentum. 8:35 a.m. – Look at that handsome man in the mirror … and look at those guns in that sleeveless shirt. You, my friend, are a powerhouse … and by “powerhouse” I mean “human pipe-cleaner.” Howzabout eating something and maybe lifting a weight? 9 a.m. – Perhaps if I Tweet… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Embarrassing | 25 Responses

Oh, by the way

The following incident happened one week ago today, and other than acknowledging that it occurred, Wonder Woman and I haven’t spoken of it since … and that’s fine with me; I’d just as soon pretend it never happened. Which is why I’m about to share it with the Internet. Go figure. But I can’t not tell you about this one. It’s just too ridiculous. As you might recall, one week ago today was Zan’s Big Birthday Blowout, and, jeepers crow, were there ever a lot of preparations involved. The drinks, the snacks, the gifts, the cake, the activities, the balloons… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Marriage, Parenthood | 30 Responses

An even bigger prick

“Are you going to write about it?” she asked me from across the table while we were eating lunch yesterday. “I don’t think I really want to,” I said. “I mean, it’s just a little too moronic, dontcha think?” She paused for a moment, presumably because she knew I’d arrive there on my own. “I guess I kinda have to, don’t I?” I asked. “I think so,” she answered. So here I go. Thursday night, there was a book fair at Zan’s school, and since Jayna had already morphed into a screaming, crying, porcupine-badger-Tasmanian-Devil-electric-eel type of thing by the hour… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Life, Parenthood | 13 Responses

A real prick

We’re in the midst of an economic crisis, and two wars, and there are droughts and disease and famine happening around the globe … and yet, I still am able to get disproportionately annoyed by the little things that go wrong during the course of the day. Here, let me tell you about one such thing—and let me take my damn sweet time getting to the thing itself, because it’s all about the journey, not the destination, am I right? Wonder Woman had a work commitment this afternoon and evening, so I was home with the kids, who were delightful.… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Parenthood, Zan | 20 Responses

This one goes out to the makers of that helmet I was wearing Sunday afternoon. Much love.

You should have seen me on the mountain last Saturday, man. I was like Tony Hawk. No, wait; he’s a skateboarder. Dude, last Saturday, I was like Shaun White. Yeah, man, that’s who I was like: Olympic gold-medalist snowboarder Shaun White. OK, not so much … but, still, I turned in one of the best days of snowboarding I’ve ever had—which was impressive, since I only boarded once last winter, and hadn’t done it at all for the six seasons prior to that. But anyway, yeah, Saturday, after Zan and Jayna’s amazing morning of skiing, Wonder Woman and I put… [read the rest]

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Posted in Buffoonery | 13 Responses