Category Archives: Free stuff

Pros & Cons (or, The time I tried way too hard to be funny whilst giving away some “SouthLAnd” schwag)

By Daddy Scratches | Published: February 1, 2011

BWAHAHAHA! Oh, man, that is some good stuff. See what I did there? “Protest” & “Contest”? The ol’ switcherooski! I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath and wipe away the laughter-induced tears streaming down your face. Alright, I admit it: That sucked. Sorry. It’s the best I could do while B.A.W. (blogging at work). Good news, though: Those of you who didn’t quickly click away from this page in embarrassment now have a shot at being rewarded for tolerating my foolishness. Allow me to explain. Remember last year, when YouCast practically begged me to wield my powerful blogger… [read the rest]

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And the winner is…

By Daddy Scratches | Published: April 9, 2010

I’m sure the suspense and anticipation have been killing you, so here we go… BUT FIRST! Lots of creative suggestions for breaking free from my writer’s block. The most popular one by far was that I consume tequila, which leads me to believe that I’m reaching the right audience here. I plan to heed your advice. I also plan to heed DianaLyn’s advice: “Sex. Pure, crazy sex.” Unfortunately, in the last 24 hours, I have come down with a cold, so drinking tequila isn’t on today’s agenda, and Wonder Woman isn’t eager to fall ill, so pure, crazy sex is… [read the rest]

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I’ve lost the ability to write, and you know what that means, right? Free stuff!

By Daddy Scratches | Published: April 7, 2010

The Good News: I’m back! Yes, I think my batteries are relatively recharged, and I’m ready to make a run at resuscitating my poor, neglected blog. The Bad News: Resuscitating my poor, neglected blog means writing something entertaining … and, unfortunately, the stuff I’m channeling through my keyboard right now is utter garbage. I’ve lost my mojo. But I don’t wanna wait until after I’ve located my missing mojo to resuscitate my poor, neglected blog, so, as a stopgap, I’m doing what any truly hacky blogger would do: I’m distracting you from my inability to write by waving some shiny… [read the rest]

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The Loser finally picks The Winner!

By Daddy Scratches | Published: January 29, 2010

Hi! Remember me? You know, the dude having the midlife crisis and going through Wellbutrin withdrawal and trying to keep a completely unmanageable schedule that, over the past couple weeks, has included working on a freelance web-design project until well past midnight every night, all the while weeping in sorrow over the fact that my blog, my beautiful blog, the most meaningful creative endeavor of my entire life and the thing to which I’ve lashed all of my hopes and dreams, has been dying on the vine? Yeah, me. Hi. So, eight days later, here’s the winner of the autographed,… [read the rest]

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We have another winnah!

By Daddy Scratches | Published: January 6, 2010

I have just employed the services of the Random Number Generator to select the winner of the Susan Boyle CD, and it spit out #54, which means that bornfamous has a shiny plastic circle in her future! Congratulations, bornfamous! And thank you to everyone else who entered … especially the many of you who shared your own stories of anxiety, depression and pharmacological shenanigans. As I wrote on Twitter the other day: “You know what’s great? Announcing how fucked up you are, and having everyone else suddenly chime in with a rousing chorus of ‘So are we!’” Also, a special… [read the rest]

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Nothing says ‘Forgive me for my mental-illness-induced patch of blogging suckery’ like a free CD, am I right?

By Daddy Scratches | Published: January 4, 2010

Pardon me while I cop right the hell out and resort to giving away a CD in an effort to distract you from the fact that I have so far been unable to carve out the time and/or muster the energy to write that explanatory post about that previously mentioned holistic treatment that Zan and I recently underwent. I promise, I’m going to do so imminently … just not tonight. But, hey, as my brain frantically flails about in search of equilibrium while adjusting to the cessation of several years of twice-daily doses of Wellbutrin, as well as to the… [read the rest]

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We have a winnah!

By Daddy Scratches | Published: November 20, 2009

OK, you can stop hitting the “Refresh” button on your browsers now, people … because I just know that’s what you’ve been doing while suffering the agonizing anticipation of finding out just which one of you will claim that spectacular prize valued at a whopping $9.99! So, without further ado … the winner of a free copy of John Mayer’s just-released album, “Battle Studies,” per the Random Number Generator, is #42 … which, it pleases me to say, is the lovely Deanna Cantrell, a.k.a. Dcan, who blogs at Chronicle Cantrell … and the reason is pleases me to say that… [read the rest]

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Will you love me if I give you free stuff?

By Daddy Scratches | Published: November 18, 2009

I sat down tonight with the intention of writing about our family foray to the mall a couple of days ago to get some portraits taken … but I just don’t have it in me. This week has really been kicking my ass, and between the excruciating back spasms I’m having right now, plus the sheer exhaustion I’m feeling, plus the fact that it’s midnight, plus what an unbelievably whiny little bitch I am, I feel compelled to go to bed … you know, so I can get up and do this shit all over again tomorrow (hopefully with the… [read the rest]

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