Category Archives: Geek

Star Wars: The Dork Awakens

Everyone kept saying "Nice costume!" WTF? I dress like this every day… A photo posted by Daddy Scratches (@daddyscratches) on Nov 1, 2015 at 5:27am PST My daughter is begging me to not dress like this when we go see “Star Wars” tomorrow morning. I’m not making any promises. (She’s lucky I’m not threatening to go full-on Vader like I did that one time.) UPDATE: Hey, let’s vote on it! Should this Jedi embarrass the hell out of his 10-year-old daughter? You decide. https://t.co/vKhY2Gutwt #StarWars — Daddy Scratches (@DaddyScratches) December 18, 2015 In related news: WE’RE GOING TO SEE STAR… [read the rest]

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Hewlett Packard wants me to feel bad about myself

I’ve had the color-inkjet printer shown above for just under six years, and if six human years are equal to 42 dog years, then 42 dog years are equal to 750 computer-technology years … which means, technologically speaking, my printer is … hmmm … times seven, carry the two … um … a billion years old. (I always sucked at math.) Zan recently needed to bring to school a picture of his family, so I printed one out for him. Here’s what it looked like: Turns out I had pretty much run out of ink, so I ordered some replacement… [read the rest]

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One more iMac post, and then I swear, I’m done

I couldn’t do it. I mean, look at this: I’m used to working with my HUGE iMac in the back there, not Wonder Woman’s tiny MacBook in the front there. And sitting at my desk with the one in front of the other, it was painfully obvious that the “I’ll just use the MacBook” approach wasn’t going to cut it. It also was painfully obvious that waiting for my employer to suddenly bestow upon me a new MacBook could take a loooooooong time … especially when you’re me, and you have the patience of a 5-year-old, in which case anything… [read the rest]

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This is where the witty headline would go if I had enough brainpower left to come up with one.

Man, that previous entry was funny, wasn’t? All that whoopin’ it up about my underachieving iMac? Yessiree, comical stuff. Ha ha. Ho ho. Hee hee. Well, guess what? I’M NOT LAUGHIN’! Turns out my iMac is far more fucked than I originally thought. Like, unusably fucked. We’ve been home from vacation for two days, and I have spent almost every waking moment of those two days locked in a duel to the death with the iMac … and it almost won. Pinned me to the floor, battered me about the head and shoulders, poked me in the eyes and gave… [read the rest]

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Pay no attention to the iMac that I just chucked out the window of a moving car on a busy superhighway during rush hour

Hey there! Remember me? Yeah, right: Jon, a.k.a. Daddy Scratches. Man, things were really going well around here; traffic to the website was going up, up, UP, the audience was growing, and I was basking in the glow of your patronage and praise. Great for my self-esteem and sense of purpose. So, of course, that had to be stopped. And thank GAWD The Universe finally stepped in and bitch-slapped me down a few notches, because I was beginning to fear I might be on to something BIG here, and what would I do with that kind of success? Pffft. My… [read the rest]

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