Category Archives: Life

45

This again? Seriously? Didn’t we just do this? Well, that number sure isn’t getting any smaller, now, is it? The good news is, I’m not freaking out … you know, like I did when I turned 40. Quite the contrary, in fact. I’ve taken stock of things and I’m OK with 45. Is my day job something I’m thrilled with? No, but I’ve reconciled myself with it. It’s a good fit for my family at this point in our lives. It’s a decent paycheck, it provides us with health insurance, it’s an easy gig, nice environment, the hours are very… [read the rest]

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Also posted in My Birthday | 4 Responses

Chillin’ like a villain in the … oh, fer crissakes, I went to New York and it was cold, OK? Do I really have to come up with a clever headline for everything?

Back in the days when I used to blog more often, much of what I wrote were anecdotes about my day-to-day life. One of the reasons I’ve blogged less often is because I started to feel like “Who gives a shit about my day-to-day life?” That’s the kind of thinking that led to me writing almost never, though, and I’ve since realized that me writing almost never = bad. Thus, I’m going to write about my day-to-day life when the mood strikes (or maybe even when it doesn’t), and you are more than welcome to not give a shit, but… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Family, Winter | 6 Responses

Merry Belated Christmakwanzhanukkah and Happy Belated New Year!

If memory serves me correctly, since launching this blog on New Year’s Day back in 2006, I have posted both a Christmas-card-picture entry and a New Year’s Day entry every year. This year, however, I decided to break with tradition and post one combined entry on January 7th. Yeah, that’s it: I planned it like this. It’s all part of my grand design. (And you thought I was just being a lazy underachiever. Ha! That’ll teach you to not be such a judgmental prick, now, won’t it?) Another break from tradition: The photo above is this year’s Scratches Family Christmas… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 7 Responses

I’ve narrowly cheated death yet again

There are many downsides to being a hypochondriac … but it does have its benefits. Take yesterday, for example. Yesterday, I headed to my doctor’s office for the third time in about two weeks … which, for me, is unfuckingprecedented, since my immune system is basically on par with Wolverine’s. And yet, despite my mutant healing powers, I’ve had a persistent cough for, like, a month now. During my first doctor’s visit, he prescribed an albuterol inhaler and a codeine-based cough suppressant. After a week, the inhaler had accomplished roughly jack shit, and I’m pretty sure I was downing the… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 34 Responses

I’m basically replacing Howard Stern … except for the “replacing Howard Stern” part.

Testing, testing … one, two … mic check … is this thing on? It is? OK, good. HEY NOW! Listen, you might find this hard to believe, but things went so well for me at Howard Stern’s Birthday Bash that Howard himself gave me a job. In fact, he said he’s grooming me to take over the show after he retires. My first move? Fire Benjy. Of course, the reason you might find that hard to believe is that it’s, well, total bullshit. Completely made up. Nothing more than a figment of my imagination. HOWEVER … I did get to… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Howard Stern | 2 Responses