Category Archives: Life

Real-estate shaming: The newest trend in pre-adolescent douchebaggery

Take a look at this screen capture and tell me what you see: Chances are you see the homepage of Zillow.com, a site where one can go and look up the supposed value of any given home. That’s what I used to see, too. Now? Now I see this: Allow me to explain. Back when I was a kid, maybe the shittiest thing we’d do is give some nerd a wedgie … and by “we,” I mean the little assholes I went to school with, and by “some nerd,” I mean me … but that’s beside the point. Anyway …… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Parenthood, Zan | 10 Responses

Hey, remember that Red Sox story I was telling you? Of course you don’t … but I’m going to finish telling it anyway.

[Click here for Part 1] By now, you’ve almost surely forgotten what we were talking about … so for those of you who don’t feel like going back and re-reading the first part of this story, let me refresh your memory: I booked for my family a vacation that partly revolved around seeing the Red Sox at their spring-training facility … and, being the well-thought-out genius that I am, I failed to first confirm that, during the time of our vacation, we’d actually be allowed inside the Red Sox spring-training facility. This proved to be a major oversight on my… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Baseball, Family, Red Sox | 10 Responses

Who’s ready for another fun tale about me fucking up a long-awaited vacation?

Remember that time I almost ruined a dream vacation to Mexico? No? Well, I sure do … and I was reminded of that colossal fuck up last month, just days before my family and I were due to take our second trip down to Sanibel Island. As some of you may recall, we traveled to Southwest Florida for the first time a couple of years ago … a vacation that included our first-ever visit to the Red Sox’s spring-training facility, which was all kinds of awesome. So awesome, in fact, that a return visit to spring training was one of… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Embarrassing, Red Sox | 9 Responses

So about that neurosis-inducing crystal-breaking incident…

Hey, remember this? Well, I know you’ve all been lying awake at night fretting over the outcome of that tragedy, so I decided it was time to put some closure on the broken-crystal story. When last I updated you, my plan was to return to Crow Haven Corner, the bona fide “witch shop” in Salem, Massachusetts, from which I bought my now-broken crystal more than 20 years ago. The only problem with that plan was the fact that, back then, I was attending college in Salem. Nowadays, I live about 370 miles away. So, you know … slightly less convenient.… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 12 Responses

45

This again? Seriously? Didn’t we just do this? Well, that number sure isn’t getting any smaller, now, is it? The good news is, I’m not freaking out … you know, like I did when I turned 40. Quite the contrary, in fact. I’ve taken stock of things and I’m OK with 45. Is my day job something I’m thrilled with? No, but I’ve reconciled myself with it. It’s a good fit for my family at this point in our lives. It’s a decent paycheck, it provides us with health insurance, it’s an easy gig, nice environment, the hours are very… [read the rest]

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Also posted in My Birthday | 7 Responses