Category Archives: Life

The one in which I reassess my life and contemplate my future … which should be about as entertaining for you to read as a stock prospectus for an embalming-fluid company, except less so

My mother gave me that album when I was seven years old, and it changed my life … for the better, I used to think … but now I’m starting to wonder. To make a long story slightly less long than it’s probably going to end up being anyway — because we all know how much I love the sound of my own voice — that album, and the band that made it, basically carved into my young and impressionable DNA the lifelong belief that I should never give up on my dreams. (Spending one’s childhood worshipping four dudes who… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Cubicle, Inspiration, Music, Writing | 46 Responses

My wife insists that I keep blogging. Basically, whatever happens from here on in is her fault, is what I’m saying.

SCENE: A screened-in porch in the suburban-Philadelphia area. We see Daddy Scratches and Wonder Woman consuming margaritas … delicious, Cabo Wabo-tequila-filled margaritas … so delicious, in fact, that this narrator currently is fantasizing about drinking roughly a dozen of them … but I digress. Let’s listen in. DS: My blog is dying. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t had any time for it, and, quite frankly, I’m having a hard time getting motivated to do anything with it … but I don’t know if I could just walk away from it. WW: [incredulously] Walk away from it? You… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 59 Responses

After narrowly avoiding disaster, our bumbling hero and his lovely bride arrived in Mexico. Debauchery ensued.

You can relax now. The passport fiasco is behind us. I know, I know … it was stressful and inexcusable and I promise you that the next time I travel abroad I will staple my passport to my chest, OK? Better? Now then … Have you ever been to Mexico? And I’m not talking about, like, Tijuana; I’m talking about this Mexico: That was the view Wonder Woman and I enjoyed during the four days we spent lounging in luxurious lounge chairs by the luxurious negative-edge pool overlooking the luxurious beach at our luxury resort, which was luxuriously devoid of… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Marriage | 19 Responses

That trip to Mexico I keep meaning to tell you about, which almost didn’t happen because of my unrivaled ability to be a complete and utter moron

About two hours into our flight from Philadelphia to Cancun, I discovered that I had committed The Biggest Fuck-Up of All Time … like, to the extent that I knew it would be best for my marriage if I just went ahead and threw myself out of the aircraft. Which was a shame, really … because everything had been going so well. The kids were sound asleep at my in-laws’ house when Wonder Woman and I slipped out into the chilly, predawn darkness and drove to the airport. Once there, we breezed through check-in and cruised through security without being… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Buffoonery, Marriage | 33 Responses

We were young and fit and healthy and childless (and young) and full of energy and disposable time and discretionary income … and mostly took it for granted. *sigh*

Us, circa 1999: Us, circa 2010: Wonder Woman is headed to the hairdresser today, and she asked me for some input about what to do with her locks. I recalled the 1999 photo up top there as being one in which her hair looked particularly lovely, so I dug it out. Wow. And now, I will spend the rest of the day hearing Mick Jagger’s voice in my head singing, “What a drag it is getting oooold.” (So old, in fact, that I’m wondering if you whippersnappers even know who Mick Jagger is.) Actually, I have occasionally gone on Facebook… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Marriage | 33 Responses