Category Archives: Life

I’m baaaaa-aaaaack

A few months ago, I was feeling all blogged out … to the point that the thought of abandoning this whole thing crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Fortunately (or, depending on your opinion of my blog, unfortunately), Wonder Woman stepped in and killed that option. Some serious soul-searching followed, the outcome of which was that I decided it was time to refocus on my dreams and set my sights on a new creative-writing endeavor. At the time, I would not have predicted that the “new” creative-writing endeavor would actually turn out to be the rebirth of a… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Inspiration, Writing | 54 Responses

The one in which I reassess my life and contemplate my future … which should be about as entertaining for you to read as a stock prospectus for an embalming-fluid company, except less so

My mother gave me that album when I was seven years old, and it changed my life … for the better, I used to think … but now I’m starting to wonder. To make a long story slightly less long than it’s probably going to end up being anyway — because we all know how much I love the sound of my own voice — that album, and the band that made it, basically carved into my young and impressionable DNA the lifelong belief that I should never give up on my dreams. (Spending one’s childhood worshipping four dudes who… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Cubicle, Inspiration, Music, Writing | 46 Responses

My wife insists that I keep blogging. Basically, whatever happens from here on in is her fault, is what I’m saying.

SCENE: A screened-in porch in the suburban-Philadelphia area. We see Daddy Scratches and Wonder Woman consuming margaritas … delicious, Cabo Wabo-tequila-filled margaritas … so delicious, in fact, that this narrator currently is fantasizing about drinking roughly a dozen of them … but I digress. Let’s listen in. DS: My blog is dying. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t had any time for it, and, quite frankly, I’m having a hard time getting motivated to do anything with it … but I don’t know if I could just walk away from it. WW: [incredulously] Walk away from it? You… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 59 Responses

After narrowly avoiding disaster, our bumbling hero and his lovely bride arrived in Mexico. Debauchery ensued.

You can relax now. The passport fiasco is behind us. I know, I know … it was stressful and inexcusable and I promise you that the next time I travel abroad I will staple my passport to my chest, OK? Better? Now then … Have you ever been to Mexico? And I’m not talking about, like, Tijuana; I’m talking about this Mexico: That was the view Wonder Woman and I enjoyed during the four days we spent lounging in luxurious lounge chairs by the luxurious negative-edge pool overlooking the luxurious beach at our luxury resort, which was luxuriously devoid of… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Marriage | 19 Responses

That trip to Mexico I keep meaning to tell you about, which almost didn’t happen because of my unrivaled ability to be a complete and utter moron

About two hours into our flight from Philadelphia to Cancun, I discovered that I had committed The Biggest Fuck-Up of All Time … like, to the extent that I knew it would be best for my marriage if I just went ahead and threw myself out of the aircraft. Which was a shame, really … because everything had been going so well. The kids were sound asleep at my in-laws’ house when Wonder Woman and I slipped out into the chilly, predawn darkness and drove to the airport. Once there, we breezed through check-in and cruised through security without being… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Buffoonery, Marriage | 33 Responses