Category Archives: Life

A week between entries? Way to keep people interested, dummy

Jesus Christ, can somebody open some windows in here? Talk about stuffy. Place smells like a morgue. Whew. Sorry ’bout that. So, yes, I’m back from my weeklong semi-hiatus, and much love to you the faithful who have continued to return, day in, day out, to see if I’ve gotten off my ass and written something for you, only to find that I sucked, and hadn’t. (Which reminds me: Hi! Have you met my sort-of-daily Photo of the Day-ish feature? It usually comprises not only a breathtaking piece of photographic brilliance, but also some elegant, witty and wonderful prose relating… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Jayna, Parenthood, Zan | 15 Responses

Driving me crazy

It’s time for one of our periodic drives to Philadelphia for a stay with the in-laws. (And before you get all “Oy, vey, the in-laws!,” let me just say that I actually enjoy visiting my in-laws. I know, right?) We’re scheduled to depart at around 6 p.m. today. The thing about driving to Philadelphia is that we actually have to drive to Philadelphia … and a 700-mile roundtrip adventure sort of demands a safe and reliable automobile. The thing is, keeping a 12-year-old Honda CR-V with 35 bazillion miles on it safe and reliable is becoming more and more of… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 17 Responses

Wall of shame

Oh, Scott. Things were going so well. So well indeed. You see, Scott, I am a major control freak … but, unfortunately, I am neither qualified nor equipped to install Verizon FiOS. Thus, I begrudgingly had to relinquish control and allow you to have free reign around the inside and outside of my house today. Don’t take it personally, Scott; I get twitchy and anxious when anyone is doing any work of any kind on my home. I always worry that the person performing the work is going to accidentally fuck something up and leave me with a new problem… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 20 Responses

Berated by Bono

Um, well, actually, Mr. Bono, now that you mention it … (Sorry, kids. You’ll get the story, but not tonight. Aiming for tomorrow.) (Also, FYI: This kind of unfortunate incident can be avoided in the future if one of you would like to make an enormous donation to the “Help Daddy Scratches Quit His Day Job” fund. I’m just sayin’ …)… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Music, Parenthood | 5 Responses

An even bigger prick

“Are you going to write about it?” she asked me from across the table while we were eating lunch yesterday. “I don’t think I really want to,” I said. “I mean, it’s just a little too moronic, dontcha think?” She paused for a moment, presumably because she knew I’d arrive there on my own. “I guess I kinda have to, don’t I?” I asked. “I think so,” she answered. So here I go. Thursday night, there was a book fair at Zan’s school, and since Jayna had already morphed into a screaming, crying, porcupine-badger-Tasmanian-Devil-electric-eel type of thing by the hour… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Buffoonery, Parenthood | 13 Responses