Category Archives: Life

Get out your violin

You know what would be great? It would be great if someone could help me get the steel-toe-boot-wearing month of September to stop repeatedly kicking me in the balls with all of its might. Anyone? We knew this was going to be a difficult month … a “transitional” month, if you will. Zan started kindergarten (which he still loves, thank god), and Jayna started preschool (which she doesn’t still love, dear god), and both have to spend a few hours per week in daycare. In other words, we have all of the necessary ingredients for a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 14 Responses

Example of why I have learned to mostly quit while I’m ahead

Me to Wonder Woman after running outside and catching her before she backs out of the driveway so that I can hand to her the cellphone she left on the kitchen counter—the one that I can never reach her on: “Please keep this on you.” “I do.” “Apparently not.” “Yes, I do. That’s why it was inside.” “Huh?” “I said I do keep it on me; that’s why it was inside.” “Wait: ‘Please keep your cellphone on you,’ ‘I do; that’s why itwasn’t on me’ …?” “Yep.” [pleasant smile] “… wha …?” “I kept it on me when I came… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Marriage | 3 Responses

Episode VII: Battle for the Bed

It seemed like a simple enough thing: because he’s growing so fast, Zan’s fire-engine bed was well on its way to becoming Zan’s mini-barstool, so we needed to get him an actual twin bed. There were some constraints, however—the first of which was that it needed to be physically low enough to fit into the corner of his room, and the second of which was that it needed to be financially low enough to fit into our meager budget. Enter Ikea. Wonder Woman scoured their site and found a bed that satisfied both requirements. However, when we got to the… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Parenthood, Zan | 4 Responses

Loony ’toons

Last week, while reading dooce, I happened upon a cartoon Heather made of herself at I gave it a hurried whirl, but wasn’t too thrilled with the results. Zan wanted to do up the whole family today, so he and I put these together. Gave me a chance to refine my cartoon self, the previous version of which looked more like a 16-year-old Japanimation hero than an almost-40 dad.… [read the rest]

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I also pay a guy to fix my car

Four years ago this month, Wonder Woman and I closed on our house and joined the ranks of the “homeowners” (a misnomer if ever there was one, because, I assure you, we so don’t own this house; Countrywide Mortgage owns not only this house, but, thanks to the plummeting real estate prices of the past several years, everything in it … but I digress). At the end of our first winter here, it became apparent to us that the previous owners, in order to make the house they were selling look pretty for the least possible cost, slapped a coat… [read the rest]

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Posted in Life | 8 Responses