Category Archives: Parenthood

Jury unanimously rules in favor of enraged father who used controversial “Star Wars”-spoiler defense in the beating death of his 12-year-old son’s dickhead classmate

That is a news headline you may well be reading in the not-too-distant future, because I am so pissed off and upset right now that I barely know what else to do with myself. And because I have no rational and/or truly satisfying target at which to aim the massive amount of rage, sadness and disappointment boiling within me, I am going to channel it into this post with the hope that doing so might help me to process the situation and move on. (I don’t believe it will, but I’m going to give it a try anyway, because the… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Life | Tagged | 10 Responses

The nuclear option … or, Why I’ve erased my children from the blogosphere

“Hey Dad, what the fuck is this website we found containing tons of pictures of, and stories about, us? Also, you’re an asshole and we hate you.” —My children, circa some point in the not-too-distant future When I started blogging almost a decade ago (yes, I’ve been blogging for almost a decade now … which is either very impressive, or very depressing, or probably both), my primary influences were a handful of Mommy Bloggers who were writing with equal parts brutal honesty, heartfelt emotion and sharp-tongued humor about the trials and tribulations of raising young children while simultaneously struggling to… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Jayna, Life, Writing, Zan | 16 Responses

Real-estate shaming: The newest trend in pre-adolescent douchebaggery

Take a look at this screen capture and tell me what you see: Chances are you see the homepage of Zillow.com, a site where one can go and look up the supposed value of any given home. That’s what I used to see, too. Now? Now I see this: Allow me to explain. Back when I was a kid, maybe the shittiest thing we’d do is give some nerd a wedgie … and by “we,” I mean the little assholes I went to school with, and by “some nerd,” I mean me … but that’s beside the point. Anyway …… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Life, Zan | 16 Responses

I’m goin’ back to Cali

Comin’ atcha live from 35,000 feet, it’s the Scratches Family Vacation. Next stop: Los Angeles. So here’s the deal: My brother calls us last December and tells us he’s getting married. Woohoo! In August, while the kids are out of school. Nice! In California. Ouch! Yeah, a cross-country trip for a family of four wasn’t exactly in our budget this year. Or any year, for that matter. Partly because we don’t actually have a budget … but mostly because we don’t have any, you know, money. But, OK, so we’re headed to California. And, hey, since we’re gonna be in… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Family, Life | 6 Responses

Lay down your weary head, my son, and I will lull you to sleep with … a violent tale of death and dismemberment …?

Zan is almost nine now, and one of the great things about having an almost-9-year-old son is that the list of things I can do with him that I actually enjoy rather than endure has grown considerably since back in the days when he was a wee little tyke. For example: Remember “Brown Bear” and “Goodnight Moon” and “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “Miss Spider” and “Dear Sweet Christ, My Brain Is Melting From The Monotony of Reading and Re-Reading The Same Boring Shit Over and Over and Over”? Yeah, me too. Thankfully, we have graduated to less lobotomy-inducing fare,… [read the rest]

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Also posted in Zan | 34 Responses